Page 1 of Death and Desire

Prologue

“I am the phoenix, the soul of Re, who guides the gods to the Netherworld when they go forth. The souls on earth will do what they desire,

and the soul of the deceased will go forth at his desire.”

- A spell for a heart-amulet of sehret stone from The Book of the Dead

Anubis

What use is a heartto the god of the dead? Since his creation, Anubis’s purpose had been to protect those who have died and lead them safely to the Netherworld, where their hearts would be weighed, their souls judged. The process was as familiar to him as breathing—even though he had no physical need to draw breath.

Humanity. Passion ruled nature. Emotion conquered rational thought. These creatures, frail in their limited lifeline but strong in spirit, never failed to surprise him.

Anubis prided himself on his unbiased assessment of the humans he ushered through the Netherworld. For every soul shepherded and every weighing ceremony observed, he uncovered a new facet of human complexity. His curiosity grew along with his protective nature, as if a thread of them somehow latched onto him and wove itself deep into his chest, pulling him into a quandary. Was there anything to life other than the inevitability of death?

It was their moments of death that left him most conflicted—the pain, grief, regret, and sorrow humans felt in their final moments. A starving mother clutching her deceased infant, knowing her time soon would come. An old man whose heart ceased beating while he carved a wooden toy for a new grandchild. Two lovers caught in a final embrace amid a shipwreck as they sank beneath the river surface. These moments ripped away the layers binding his immortal soul and clawed at his heart, eliciting sadness, demanding sympathy.

He despised the unbidden emotions that rose to the surface with little warning. He was an immortal. Son of Osiris. Protector of the dead. He had nothing but his dedication to those in his care. No sympathy. No sorrow. The curiosity he held for humanity served no purpose. The living meant nothing to him.Nothing.

Then why, with every passing soul, did he soften to those in his care? A nagging need to uncover knowledge of their world, of theirlives,left him in a perpetual state of unease.It was as though something drew him to them, like a thread binding their existence to his.

And he despised it.

Anubis concerned himself only with their presence in his domain. In this place between the living and the dead, he held sway. Yet...he could not remove an unsettling tug beneath his ribs, weaving itself around his useless heart. If only he could remove it.

In a rare moment of stillness, he sought an audience with Ra.

Golden sunlight created a halo around the blue-haired god who lifted his gaze when Anubis entered an opulent garden. A ball of light lay cradled Ra’s right hand, and his all-seeing lapis-lazuli eyes narrowed as he approached. Ra closed his fist, extinguishing the orb of light.

“What brings you here, Anubis?” His lips quirked at the corners. “Have you no dead to guide and protect?”

“On the contrary, there are more than ever who require my guidance.” Anubis bowed his head. “I have come with a personal request.”

“Interesting.” Ra stepped closer, his glittering white robes flowing around his muscular thighs. “You have my attention. What request could you possibly make, my loyal guardian of the dead?”

“My heart.”

Ra inclined his head and steadily met Anubis’s gaze. “What of it?”

“It serves no purpose.”

Ra chuckled. “Is that so?”

“My purpose is to guide and protect the dead.” Anubis pressed forward confidently. “For that, I require no heart, and I wish for you to remove it.”

“Does it plague you?” Ra pressed a hand to Anubis’s chest. “This conscientious heart?”

“If I am to remain unbiased and dedicated to my purpose, it must be removed.” He exhaled sharply as Ra’s warmth soaked into his torso, heating him like the sun’s rays on his black skin.

“And what of love?” Ra asked, his eyes glinting with a divine light from within. “Without a heart, love is impossible.”

“What use have I for such emotion?” Anubis scoffed. “Love means nothing to me. I’ve seen the destruction it brings, the grief it causes.”

“True, but it also brings joy and purpose.” Ra grinned. “Pleasure.”

The tendrils around Anubis’s infernal heart tightened, tugging and twisting. He ignored the sensation and shook his head. “There is no purpose but the one bestowed upon me.”

“What would you have me do with it?” Ra waved his hand and regarded Anubis carefully, as though seeking a flaw in his assertion. “Shall I destroy it?”

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