Page 6 of Quiet Longing

“I was being helpful,” I muttered and went to sit down. Aidan could be an annoying prick at times.

“Leave him alone,” Derek said. “Though, I will warn you all to keep your paws off her this summer. She didn’t come here to have you lot slobbering all over her.”

“I’ll have you know I never slobber,” Aidan retorted. “Though, saying that, she does have a very nice pair of—”

Derek lifted his pool cue like he might knock Aidan on the head with it. “Don’t finish that sentence, lad.”

“What? I was just going to say she has a lovely pair ofeyes. Besides, you have nothing to worry about. She’s a little on the chunky side for my taste.”

As soon as he said it, I wanted to defend her because Charli wasn’t chunky. She was curvy in a way that made my blood heat. Besides, I knew how it felt to be judged for your weight. Ever since I hit puberty, I’d piled on the pounds and hadn’t been ableto shift them since, so I knew what it was like to be called fat by the likes of Aidan.

“Hey, fuck you, Aidan,” Tristan spoke up for his cousin, and I was glad he did because that meant I didn’t have to. “You’re only calling her chunky because she barely spared you a second glance. If she had, you’d be writing sonnets about her curves.”

Aidan scoffed. “If I’d wanted a second glance, I could’ve gotten one.”

Theo chuckled. “Keep telling yourself that.”

“Listen, you can all stop talking about Charli right now,” Derek said. “My parents brought her here so Nuala could have a friend for the summer. You know she’s been struggling lately.”

“Are those girls from her school still being arseholes?” Theo asked, concerned. We all knew he had a thing for Nuala though he’d never admit it.

“Yep. Nuala walked in on this one girl, Kiera, puking her guts up into the toilet. Bulimia, most likely. Nuala promised she wouldn’t tell anyone, and she didn’t, but Kiera’s decided to turn the entire friend group against her just in case.”

“Poor Nuala.”

“At least she has Charli for the summer,” Derek said. “The two of them have been emailing back and forth for weeks, and Nuala’s been in a much better mood ever since.” He paused, taking a deep breath. “Anyway, my point is, Charli’s off limits. Got it?”

We all made noises of agreement. Not that I had a shot with her even if she wasn’t off limits. Girls never looked at me. Maybe it was my own fault for hanging out with a bunch of good looking bastards like these four. A bloke like me didn’t stand a chance. I didn’t even know what it felt like to have a girl look at me and show attraction. If it ever happened, I probably wouldn’t be able to tell.

About a half an hour later, we called it a night. It took me about fifteen minutes to walk home, but I managed to stretch it to twenty by going the long way. I tried to keep out of the house for as many hours as possible. Mainly because of my dad. Mam kicked him out last year, but she’d recently taken him back. Shealwaystook him back.

My gut twisted when I neared the front door and heard shouting. Dad was roaring his head off, and Mam’s tearful, frightened responses made my jaw clench. I was about to slot my key in the door when it flew open, and Dad emerged, his face red with fury.

“Get out of my bloody way!” he fumed, shoving past me before stomping away from the house. I stood there, my entire body tense, hating how I feared him. I was big now, practically the same height as him, but it wasn’t his size that intimidated me. There was something uncontrollable in my father; an unpredictability that was terrifying. When you walked into a room and he was there, you never knew what kind of reception you were going to get.

I hurried inside and found Mam on the kitchen floor, weeping.

“Mam,” I breathed, lowering to kneel before her and trying to keep the fury out of my voice. The last thing she needed was more anger. My father’s was already more than she could bear.

She sniffed and wiped at her teary eyes. Her hand left her cheek, and every muscle in my body tensed with rage when I saw the bloodied cut. Dad hadn’t hit her since he moved back in. She’d been convinced he’d turned over a new leaf, but I knew better.

Normally, I was home and could get in his way, let him hurt me instead of her. But it was Thursday. He normally spent Thursday nights at the pub and didn’t get home until the earlyhours of the morning. I’d thought it was safe to stay out for a while, but I’d been wrong.

“He … he just snapped. I don’t know why.”

I held back all the swear words I wanted to let rip and instead spoke evenly, “He’ll never change, Mam. We need to get you out of here. I’m going to take you to Aunt Claire’s—”

“No!” she begged, her voice desperate. “I can’t let anyone see me like this.”

“Yes, you can. If you tell Claire what Dad’s really like, your sister will let you stay with her. She’ll keep you safe until we can figure something out.”

“I can’t, Rhys. You don’t understand.” She was shaking her head as she stood and walked to the other side of the kitchen.

“I understand, Mam. I live here, too, but I know that life can be so much better than this. When he was gone this past year, things were easier,” I said, holding in the urge to add,You never should’ve taken him back.A comment like that wouldn’t help.

She didn’t respond as she stopped at the sink then turned the tap on and frantically began washing her hands. I watched her, struggling for a way to convince her to leave. If I could at least get her out of here for one night then maybe getting her to leave Dad for good this time would be easier.

There was a small mirror on the windowsill. I saw the moment she caught sight of herself, and her shoulders slumped forward before quiet weeping ensued. I hurried to her, turning off the tap and grabbing a dish cloth to dry her hands. She turned in my arms, still weeping, and I held her tight. She was a small woman. I didn’t understand how a man my father’s size could ever harm someone so much weaker. I was a big lad, but it was never in my nature to hurt others, especially not anyone smaller.

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