Page 70 of Quiet Longing

I tensed at her question, knowing she wasn’t going to like the answer. “Five years.”

Her eyes flared wide. “Five years?”

I nodded sadly. She shook her head. “That’s … that’s such a long time. I’ll be finished with college in three, and you’ll still be …”

“Yeah,” I breathed, unsure if I’d ever felt such turmoil. Not even when Dad was at his very worst did I feel this torn up inside. “I’ll still be there.”

That night, Charli and I kissed and held each other, but we didn’t go any further than that. Our melancholy was too overpowering. And when the day came when she was to fly home with her mother, I did the mature, grown-up thing.

I avoided her.

Yep, pretty shite behaviour from me. I went out running with Derek, prolonging it by an extra mile because I knew that as soon as I got back to the house, Charli and I would say goodbye. She’d go home, leaving a giant, gaping hole in her wake.

Charli

My bags were packed, and Uncle Padraig was ready to bring us to the airport. I paced in the kitchen, constantly checking the clock and fretting. Rhys had gone out running with Derek, and I feared he wasn’t going to make it back before I had to leave.

The last few days had been painful. Rhys and I had talked for a long time, and I finally understood why he couldn’t come to America with me. Once he’d explained it, I completely got it.There was something inside him, something his father put there, and it needed to be pulled out. The only way he could do that was through rigorous, unrelenting routine and struggle.

We’d agreed to keep in touch, to email and stay up to date on each other’s lives. It was a small comfort, but a part of me knew that even keeping in touch wouldn’t bridge the gap of five whole years. Rhys might get some short periods of leave, but they wouldn’t be enough for us to forge a relationship. And besides, he had his mom to look out for. It wasn’t like he could use all his time off to come see me. No, I had to be unselfish in this even if a large part of me just wanted to lash out and demand he let me keep him all to myself.

Mom was in the living room with Aunt Jo. I’d already said my tearful goodbyes to Nuala, Tristan, Derek, and my aunt and uncle, promising I’d come visit again soon. I was going to miss them all like crazy but not as much as I’d miss the boy who’d quietly crept up on me that summer and stole my heart.

The back door opened, and I startled. Derek and Rhys appeared, sweaty and gulping mouthfuls of water as they arrived home from their run. My eyes found Rhys’, and I soaked him in. I had no idea what the future held. He might join some foreign army, go off to war, and get killed. I might succumb to a hereditary condition just like my birth mother had. One thing was for certain—if we ever did meet again, we wouldn’t be the same boy and girl who’d gotten swept up in one another for a sweet, blissful summer by the sea.

“I’ll leave you two to talk,” Derek said awkwardly before he swiftly left the room. I was barely aware of him, too busy cataloguing Rhys’ face, committing him to memory. His eyes remained glued to the shiny countertop like he couldn’t bring himself to look at me.

Stepping close, my hand reached out but he moved away, his voice strained when he muttered, “I’m all sweaty.”

My heart sank. I swallowed the lump in my throat and nodded. “We’re leaving for the airport soon. I wasn’t sure I’d get a chance to say goodbye.” My voice broke a little as I held back tears.

“Charli, listen—”

“No, I was being selfish trying to get you to come to America. You’ve got your own plans, and it’s not like you’re going to give them up for some girl you’re sleeping with.”

“You’re not just some girl,” he countered, his eyes darkening.

“I know that. We’ve become close this summer. You’re one of the best people I’ve ever met, Rhys, and I guess a part of me doesn’t want to let you go.”

“Fuck,” he swore, wiping some of the sweat from his brow as he moved towards me. “Come here,” he murmured before tugging me into his arms. He wrapped me in a hug so tight and all-consuming it knocked the wind out of me. The hug said so many things Rhys probably wasn’t brave enough to say. It told me my leaving was just as difficult for him as it was for me, perhaps even more so.

“Sorry. I’m getting my sweat all over you,” he said, pressing his mouth to my hair.

“I don’t mind.” I really didn’t. I wanted his scent on me so I could remember him. If I didn’t wash these clothes, I could let them comfort me when I was home in Boston, trying to latch on to the memories we’d made. The hoodie he’d given me was neatly packed away in my suitcase. I had a feeling I was going to be wearing it a lot.

“Charlotte! We’re leaving,” Mom called, and my stomach bottomed out. Every part of me didn’t want to leave the familiar, comforting warmth of Rhys’ arms.

Unable to hold the tears back any longer, I let them fall as I finally withdrew. I wiped at them, sniffling as I poked him in the chest, “Don’t you forget about me, okay?”

“How could I forget about the most amazing girl I’ve ever known?” he replied, and that just made me want to cry harder. There was a sheen of emotion in his eyes, too, and I knew he was struggling.

“Okay, I’m going,” I said, thinking that perhaps tearing off the bandage was best. “Thank you for the most amazing, wonderful summer, Rhys Doyle.”

His expression was full of conflict as I turned on my heel and headed for the door. “Charli,” he said, a desperation in his voice. Turning back, I noticed him clenching and unclenching his fist. I felt like he wanted to say something important, but then finally, he simply said, “Safe flight, yeah?”

My stomach sank, and I nodded, taking one final look at him before I continued on my way. Boston, college, and my entire future was waiting for me, but the sinking feeling remained, some foreboding voice in my head telling me that wherever my path took me, nothing would compare to my one unforgettable summer with a perfectly unforgettable boy.

Part Two:

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