Page 109 of Quiet Longing

“Well, it would be a solution to the problem of competing against hundreds of other prospective tenants for all those rented apartments. But you can relax,” I chuckled softly. “Even if I do decide to buy, it won’t be the house right next door to yours.”

Rhys’ expression sobered. “Why not?”

My heart flipped in my chest at his response like he thought us being neighbours was an ace idea. I gave a quiet, self-deprecating laugh. “Hey, I know we get along, but that doesn’t mean you want me living next to you. We all need our space.”

“If you like the house, and you can afford it, I think you should put in an offer,” Rhys said, surprising the stuffing out of me. I blinked at him. Then I blinked some more.

“You’d be okay with that?”

“Of course, I would. Why wouldn’t I? It’s a good investment, and the prices around here tend to only go upward. The current owners put a lot of work into it. It’s basically ready to move into. You wouldn’t need to do any renovations unless there’s specific things you want to change.”

“Oh,” I breathed, still stunned by how enthused he was about me living right next to him. “Well, I’d have to take a look at my finances. I might have trouble getting a mortgage since I just started a new job, but I do have a decent savings and investment portfolio. Plus, Uncle Padraig has me on a very generous salary at the hotel.”

“What about your divorce settlement?” Rhys asked, and I tensed. It wasn’t exactly my favourite topic, but since he knew what Jesse was really like, I didn’t think he’d judge me too much if I told him the truth.

I took another bite of the burger before setting it down and wiping my lips with a napkin. “There wasn’t one.”

Rhys blinked like he thought he misheard me. “What do you mean, there wasn’t one? Derek said your husband was some big shot lawyer and that the two of you lived in a penthouse apartment in a fancy neighbourhood. I’m assuming half of that apartment belonged to you?”

I glanced down at my half eaten burger before looking back up at him. “No, actually. Jesse bought the apartment in his name, and he paid the mortgage. He said it was because he earned a lot more than I did, and it wouldn’t be fair to expect me to pay. It seemed like a generous offer at the time, but beforelong, I realised it was to keep me trapped and dependent on him for a place to live.”

“Motherfucker,” Rhys practically growled. “But you lived there. You were married. You still would’ve been entitled to half.”

“Rhys,” I whispered.

“And what about alimony?” he went on, not hearing me. “Did you have any shared assets?”

“Rhys,” I repeated, louder this time, and his eyes flashed to mine. Emotion rose up, clogging my throat as I forced myself to confess, “The only way I could get him to agree to the divorce was if I left with nothing.”

I watched his hand that rested on the table clench into a fist. He was angry, and I totally got it. I grew angry too when I thought about how much Jesse got away with. “He kept the apartment, both cars, and all the money in our shared accounts.”

“Jesus Christ, Charli, but what about …” His eyes flashed black, dark thoughts clearly filling his head. “You must’ve had injuries. You could’ve gone to the police and had him charged. A judge would’ve granted you a divorce on the grounds of domestic violence and awarded you at least half of everything.”

“You don’t understand,” I said, so quietly I was practically still whispering. “I didn’t want it. Anything to do with Jesse was tainted, and I know how vindictive he can be. If I took everything or had him arrested, he would’ve come looking for me at some point. Taking from a man like him is dangerous because he can’t let things go. No, it’s better to let him feel like he’s won. Getting away from him is the real victory. Being able to sleep at night and feel safe is all I ever really wanted.” I didn’t realise I was crying until I felt a fat, wet tear roll down my cheek. “I didn’t need a big divorce settlement. I just needed my freedom.”

Rhys appeared agitated as he rose from his seat like he wanted to come to my side of the table and put his arms aroundme. Instead, he sat back down and reached across to take my hand.

“But he can’t just …” he trailed off, frowning as he worked through several thoughts and feelings that flashed across his face in a medley of frustration. Finally, his endlessly blue eyes met mine, his voice much more measured when he said, “He’ll do it again to someone else. You know that, right?”

With that one statement, he might as well have sliced a sword through my middle. Because that was the one thing that stole my peace of mind lately. In my desperation to rid Jesse from my life, I’d been selfish. I’d only thought of saving myself. I hadn’t considered the others who might fall victim to his insidious charm. But it’s difficult to focus on anything but getting free when you’re in survival mode. I still spent a lot of time puzzling out ways to save those possible victims, but every time, I ended up at a brick wall.

“I’ve very aware of that, Rhys. More than you know.” I paused to let out a heavy sigh. “Ithauntsme.”

I met his gaze and received a wave of empathy. I knew merely by his expression that he understood the guilt I lived with. If only I’d been braver, stronger, maybe I could’ve gone to the cops and done something real, made sure that even if I couldn’t have him sent to prison for his abuse, then at least he’d get a record that could screw with his career a little.

Rhys cleared his throat, changing the subject, “You said you have some savings?”

“Yes, I … when I first started working at my last job, I was hired as a junior accountant. About two years later, I was promoted to senior accountant, and then a year after that, I was made head accountant. I never told Jesse about the promotions, so he didn’t realise I was receiving a far greater salary than what I’d started out with. I’ve always been a lot smarter than him when it comes to finance, and I figured out how to hide the extramoney, sending it to an account I’d opened that he didn’t know about. I also managed to invest a large part of it, earning modest returns. So, as I said, I can cover the down payment to buy a place. It’s getting approved for a mortgage that will be tricky.”

“Maybe Padraig or Jo can go guarantor,” Rhys suggested. “I’m sure they’d be happy to help you out.”

“Oh, I couldn’t ask that of them,” I said, tucking some hair behind my ear. “It’s too much. Besides, it’s just an idea. I’m still not entirely sure if I want to buy. It’s a big step.”

“Yeah, take your time. There’s no sense rushing into anything.”

I nodded and returned my attention to finishing the burger. Though after talking about my divorce, my appetite had dwindled. I dabbed the ketchup from my lips as Rhys stood and started gathering our plates to bring to the sink. I tried to help, but he insisted I sit and relax since I’d need my energy for the afternoon viewings.

To distract myself from how good Rhys looked standing by the sink rinsing dishes—his broad shoulders and muscular backside drawing my gaze like a moth to a flame—I found myself pulling out my phone and searching for the listing for the house next door. By the time Rhys was done tidying up, I’d just about fallen in love with the place. The current owners had modernised the interior with features that were stylish in a classical way. It meant anyone could move in and put their own stamp on it.

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