Page 38 of Quiet Longing

The hum of the vacuum pulled me out of the story, and I glanced around the room. I was about to relocate to the bench at the end of the garden when my gaze caught on a collection of family photos displayed on one of the shelves. There were lots of Nuala and the boys, a few of the whole family, and then others of relatives I didn’t know, presumably from their mom’s side of the family.

One showed Aunt Jo when she was in her twenties with three other women. I immediately suspected they were her sisters because they all had the same brown eyes and similar features. I wondered what it might be like to have so many sisters, all close in age, the four of you growing up together. Being an only child, I’d always been fascinated by what it was like to have siblings.

I heard someone come in the front door, and then Nuala appeared a minute later, her long hair freshly trimmed and blow dried.

“You look great,” I exclaimed when I saw her.

She fluffed her hair and grinned. “Thanks, Charli. My stylist, Shona, is a genius. Have you had lunch yet? I was going to defrost some more of Chef Moira’s chili soup.”

“Sure, I could go for some soup,” I answered, and she seemed to note where my attention was focused.

“Mam is great at keeping all the family pictures together,” Nuala said fondly. “I love the old ones the best.”

“Right?” I agreed. “It’s like we’re all too skilled at posing nowadays. There was something beautifully unpretentious about people in old photos.”

“Like they weren’t expecting the picture to be taken,” Nuala added, coming to stand next to me. “So the result is somethingmuch more natural.” There was a pause, and I realised I was holding the picture of Aunt Jo and her sisters.

“Gosh, I haven’t looked at that one in forever. Mam is so young in it, and my aunts, wow, I forgot how gorgeous they all were.”

“A good looking family,” I agreed. “You look just like them. Did she have any brothers?”

“No, only sisters. Granddad John always wanted a boy, but it wasn’t to be,” Nuala said then pointed to the tallest sister. “That’s my aunt Faye. She and her husband moved to Australia and started a family there. We visit them and my little cousins every couple years, and sometimes they come here. The one with the darker blonde hair is my Aunt Julia. She lives nearby and works in finance. And the one on the far left is Nadine. She passed away before I was born,” Nuala finished sadly.

“Really? What happened to her?”

A shadow fell over Nuala’s features when she replied, “It’s so awful. Mam never told me the full story for years. When I was a kid, all I knew was that she was sick, but it turned out she struggled with mental illness and took her own life when she was only twenty-three.”

“Oh my goodness. That’s horrible.”

Nuala nodded, her mouth shaping into a sad line. “She had schizophrenia. It kind of freaks me out because it can be hereditary, but I try not to think about it too much. I go with Mam and Aunt Julia to visit her grave sometimes. Even though it’s been years, I can tell it still hurts them, what happened to her. I can’t imagine anything happening to Tristan or Derek. That would destroy me.”

I nodded, feeling suddenly solemn. I didn’t have siblings, but I knew about loss. I felt my dad’s absence every single day. My attention returned to the picture of Nuala’s poor aunt. It was sad when people died at any age, but twenty-three was tragicallyyoung. Nuala and I stared at the photo in quiet for a minute before she stepped away, exhaling heavily as though to clear the melancholy from her mind.

“I’ll go get started on that soup.”

“Yeah, great,” I replied and set the photo back down before following her into the kitchen. There was a hollowness in my stomach I couldn’t account for. Maybe it was thinking of Dad. I always felt an aching sadness whenever I thought about how we’d never talk again, never laugh or joke around together. He’d never smile at me in that way that made me feel completely and totally loved and protected.

***

The next two days passed quietly. I didn’t see much of Rhys because he was either working or visiting his mother, who I learned from Aunt Jo was staying at her sister’s house that was about thirty minutes away by car.

I missed him, had wanted to invite him to come play video games and eat snacks with me again, but he was always gone by the time I woke up, and I didn’t have his phone number to send a text. I considered asking Derek for it, but that might lead to another lecture on not taking advantage of his friend.

I didn’t have any shifts at the hotel, so I spent most of my time chilling with Nuala. I also discovered there was a swimming pool in the house. How could Nuala have failed to mention something as epic as a private pool? Well, it seemed she didn’t use it very often and claimed she sometimes forgot it was there since it was down on the basement level. I was rightfully outraged she could possibly forget about a whole swimming pool in her own goddamn house. I insisted on us taking a swim, and she led me downstairs and into a spacious pool room that also had a sauna and a hot tub. Like, where was I even staying?

“This is incredible. If I lived here, I’d go for a swim every morning.”

“You’re such a water baby,” Nuala said with a smile as she watched me dive in.

The next day, I was back at the hotel for an afternoon shift, and I still couldn’t get over the fact the Balfes had an indoor pool.

“Did you know about the pool?” I asked as soon as I joined Rhys at the dish washing station.

He quirked an eyebrow, glancing at me while he hosed down some dirty plates. “The pool?”

“The indoor pool in my cousins’ basement,” I explained. “I was very rudely kept in the dark about it until yesterday.”

The faintest grin curved his lips, lips I was becoming more and more preoccupied with lately. “Well, I apologise profusely for all your pain and suffering.”

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