Page 114 of Quiet Longing

“She’s had a tough life,” he went on, his attention going in the direction she went. “Hasn’t gotten to enjoy herself very much.”

“She’s really never been outside of Ireland?”

Jonathan shook his head. “Her upbringing was rather deprived. I try to encourage her to treat herself from time to time, but she worries if she spends on something frivolous she’ll need the money for an emergency later down the line.”

“That makes sense. I didn’t grow up rich, but money was tight at times. It made me very aware of the cost of things.”

Jonathan nodded, his attention wandering over me once more. “I know we’ve never met before, but can I ask you for a favour?”

“That depends.”

He exhaled and leaned forward. “When Maggie tries to talk herself out of going, will you do your best to convince her otherwise?”

“You’re so sure she’ll change her mind?”

“I know Maggie. She’ll come up with a reason to save her money or spend it on something else. She has several younger siblings, and though they live with foster parents, she tends to put all her energy and resources into them.”

His words made me see Maggie in a new light. It was rare to come across someone so selfless. “Okay, sure. No promises, but I’ll try my best.”

Jonathan gave a faint smile. “Thank you. So, Maggie tells me you’re an accountant here at the hotel?”

“Head accountant, yes,” I replied, feeling a tremor of awkwardness because if Maggie already told Jonathan about me that meant she’d probably mentioned her idea of setting us up.

“Well, if you’re so dedicated to your job that you’re working through your lunch hour, it makes me feel like maybe I should headhunt you to come work at my own firm.”

“I’m quite happy here,” I said with a smile. “Plus, my uncle owns the place, so I’m kind of loyal to the family business.”

“Ah,” Jonathan replied as though gravely disappointed. “That’s too bad.”

I glanced over to the bar area, making eye contact with the girl who’d taken my order. She held up five fingers to say my sandwich would be five more minutes. It wasn’t that I wasn’t finding Jonathan interesting to talk to. I was just eager to get back to my desk so I didn’t end up having to work late.

When I looked back to Jonathan, he was eyeing me with a certain level of interest that made me think he might find me attractive. I felt the need to let him know I wasn’t on the market because this was beginning to feel oddly like a date even though I knew Maggie hadn’t left us alone on purpose. Wait, or had she?

“I’m not, um …” Oh hell, how to say this without coming across arrogant? “The last time I met Maggie, she mentioned how she was trying to set you up and asked if I’d be interested ina date. But I just wanted to say I’m recently divorced, so I’m not looking for anything right now.”

Jonathan’s faint smile deepened into a smirk paired with an arched brow. “Is that so?”

“Not that I thought …” I trailed off, heaving a sigh. “I just wanted to mention it in case Maggie said anything.”

Jonathan ran a finger across the lip of his glass. “She did. She said you were just my type, which,”—he paused to take a slow perusal of me—“you are, to be fair. But she also said you weren’t ready, which I respect. I’ve never been married, but I have gone through a broken engagement to a woman I was with for five years, so I understand how long it can take to get over these things.”

“And how did you get over it, if you don’t mind me asking?” I couldn’t help my curiosity. Especially since I was having all these reemerging feelings for Rhys, feelings from the past that had probably always been there, just suppressed. I was interested to know how someone like Jonathan got over the end of a long-term relationship.

“Hmmm, it was slightly unconventional to be honest.”

“Oh?”

“I was too emotionally raw to sleep around, but I did have, well, needs.”

“Understandable.”

After my massage last weekend, I was beginning to realise the importance of physical touch and how absent it had been from my life. It had wrought such raw emotions from me, and I’d felt strangely better after the somewhat intimate, though not sexual, contact with another human being. Lighter in my soul somehow.

“I ended up bumping into an ex of mine. It was a unique situation because our breakup was amicable, and the sex between us had always been great,” Jonathan said, andI blinked, unprepared for him to mention sex so directly. “It turned out she’d been through a bad breakup a few months previous, so we were both in the same boat. We decided to do a no-strings, friends-with-benefits thing for a while, just to get over our exes and get back into the swing of things, get our confidence back in the bedroom, you know?”

“Um, yes,” I said, and I did know. It had been so long since I last had sex, and after the first few “good” years with Jesse, it had become something to dread, something I had to force myself to get through for fear my reluctance might trigger a violent outburst. No wonder the massage had done such a number on me. Physical pleasure, even the platonic kind, was a mine field after what I’d been through.

“It was ideal because we knew we weren’t compatible emotionally,” Jonathan went on. “So we could enjoy the sex and then move on when the time came that we were ready.”

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