Page 1 of Quiet Longing

1.

Charli

Sixteen years ago.

I was nervous.

Not surprising since it was my first time away from home. It was also my first time stepping foot in another country. I was completely out of my element, had never even been on an airplane before, and was flying solo.

I gripped the straps of my backpack while waiting for my suitcase to appear on the carousel at Dublin Airport. It was late evening, and my flight from Boston had just arrived. I was spending the summer with my cousin, Nuala (pronounced Noo-la), at my aunt and uncle’s house.

Uncle Padraig (pronounced Pod-rig) was my mom’s brother and the big success of the family. He’d made his fortune by becoming the owner of two five-star hotels in Dublin. One was in the city while the other was closer to their family home on the coast.

Sadly, I wasn’t going to be staying at either hotel, but I would be working in one of them. My uncle had invited me to visit before I started college in the fall. He’d meant it to be a vacation, but Mom had refused to let me go unless I paid my way. So, I was going to be working as a kitchen porter, which I guessed was similar to a busboy. Still, I only had to work part-time. The rest of my time would be my own, and I was eager to explore and experience the country where my mom grew up.

I was also excited to spend time with my relatives.

My cousin, Nuala, was supposed to be meeting me at the airport. I hadn’t seen her or her brothers, Tristan and Derek, since they were little. The whole family used to visit the Stateswhen we were kids, but then Mom fought with Uncle Padraig, and things turned frosty between the families after that. They only started to thaw about two years ago when my father passed away and Uncle Padraig reached out to Mom.

Anyway, I was pretty sure this trip was his way of mending whatever bridges had been broken between them. Mom never told me what they’d argued over, but I had a suspicion it was about money. Padraig probably offered some to Mom since we were always struggling, and she was too proud and mulish to accept.

At long last, after most of the other passengers on my flight had collected their luggage, my suitcase appeared. I grabbed it hastily, made a quick trip to the bathroom then walked to Arrivals, hoping my cousin was there already, and I wouldn’t have to hang around waiting.

Nuala was seventeen, a year younger than me. Her brother Derek was the eldest at nineteen, and Tristan was also seventeen since he and Nuala were twins. I remembered her as this gorgeous, blonde, freckle-faced eight-year-old with long, willowy limbs and brown doe eyes. I’d been her opposite with my dark brown hair, hazel eyes, and chubby cheeks. Even now, I was still a little chubby. I’d always been self-conscious about it despite my attempts to love myself no matter what I looked like.

It didn’t help that Mom prided herself on being rail thin without ever really having to try. I took more after my dad’s side of the family, the Italian side, and like them, I’d always been a big foodie. I loved fast food, convenience food, healthy food, luxury food. You named it; I was probably going to eat it. I liked to think of myself as a sensualist in that respect, though really, I just loved to eat.

Nuala and I had connected over email a few weeks ago. I told her a bit about my life: just finished high school; headed to college to study Business and Accounting in the fall; noboyfriend; two close BFFs, Lydia and Gwyn. And she’d filled me in on hers: about to start senior year of what they called secondary school at the end of summer; also no boyfriend (or girlfriend); a small group of friends, but no one she’d consider a BFF.

I felt a little sorry for her hearing the last part, but who was I to judge? Maybe not everybody needed a best friend.

We’d exchanged pictures so I knew what she looked like all grown up. She was still blonde and willowy; only now, she could add ethereally beautiful to the list.

I spotted her right away. She wore a pale yellow sun dress paired with a white cotton wrap, ankle boots, and tortoiseshell glasses. She looked fresh and glorious while I felt like death warmed over after the long flight.

I’d been stuck sitting between a couple who at first wanted me to switch seats with them so they could sit together then proceeded to get into an argument and wanted to switch back again. I obliged them both times, mainly because I wasn’t an experienced flier and didn’t have the confidence to say no. Then the person sitting in front of me decided to put their seat back while I was leaning forward to take a sip from my water bottle, causing my head to bump harshly against the seat.

My forehead still smarted a little, and I was pretty sure I spotted a bruise blossoming when I saw myself in the bathroom mirror.

“Charli!” Nuala called, waving her hand in the air. “Over here.”

I smiled and tried not to grimace at the rank taste in my mouth. I really needed to brush my teeth and take a shower. I just hoped Nuala didn’t get a whiff of me.

“Hey, thanks so much for coming,” I said, smiling because, despite being exhausted, I was genuinely happy to see her. Shewas so bubbly and fresh that it was impossible not to feel better in her company.

“It’s no problem at all. I wanted to come. I’ve been so excited to see you. I can’t believe it’s been almost ten years. Madness!” She pulled me into a hug, and it was like being embraced by a fairy who smelled like Chanel. Her long hair fell in envious waves down her back while my thick mop was currently tied in a messy, frizzy knot.

“I’ve been excited to see you, too,” I said as she pulled away and reached for my suitcase.

“Let me take that for you. Come on. A car is waiting down below.”

My eyebrows rose. “A car?”

“Dad’s driver Stephen brought me here. I haven’t got my licence yet since I only started taking lessons a few weeks ago. Hopefully, I’ll be driving by the end of summer. Hey, maybe you and I could go on a road trip before you leave for home. Ah! That’s a great incentive for me to pass the test.”

I was gathering that Nuala was a bit of a golden retriever, full of smiles and cheerful chatter. “Not sure going on a road trip with someone who just passed their test is at the top of my to do list,” I deadpanned, and Nuala chuckled, slapping me on the arm.

“You cheeky bitch!” She paused, surveying me with a smile. “I think we’re going to get along just fine.”

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