Page 42 of The Accidental Ghost

“Hey! I didn’t cry, and while I did say I couldn’t believe this was real, so did you. Marty told me.” She shot them a weak but satisfied smile.

Nina made a face, crossing her arms over her chest. “Marty’s stupid and so’s her memory.”

Marty grinned. “Call me all the names you like, Bloodsucker, but I’m right. You carried on for days, even after you knew the paranormal was real, because I was already a werewolf when you were turned. So shut it, Vampire, and let’s hear what George and Dex found out.”

Dex sat on the love seat facing the couch, patting the place next to him for George, who scooped up Waffles, wheelchair and all, and plunked down next to him. Then Dex folded his hands together in his lap, gazing at Ralph as though what he was about to say, he was attempting to do so with caution.

When the room went silent, Ralph spoke up. “Whatever you’re about to tell me is obviously paining you, but I’m ready for it. Or I think I am. This has been the weirdest week of my life and maybe, after these past couple of days, the greatest. So please don’t think you have to spare my feelings. Just tell me what you know and I’ll appreciate the help, no matter what.”

Fighting a loud gulp, she force- swallowed her fear.

George’s shoulders lifted when she sighed. “So like I said, I’m a guardian angel and so is Dex. You’re a little like us, in that we help guide people here on Earth, most of them completely unaware. We’re the invisible voice that says ‘danger!’ or ‘maybe you should think twice before leaping.’ Sometimes we make ourselves known, but mostly we’re doing the work silently.”

Interesting. Another piece of the puzzle clicked into place. “And my guardian angel?” Ralph laughed in irony, holding up a hand. “No, don’t tell me. My angel’s on vacation, or on a pub crawl, and forgot to show up?”

Dex cleared his throat. “Our boss, Titus, tells us your guardian angel never showed up because no one knows you died.”

“Titus…” she murmured “Is he my boss, too?”

George popped her lips. “Sort of. Forget the angel hierarchy and focus on the fact that we don’t know why you were overlooked. Especially because the properties you’re displaying are, like Shamus told you, that of a psychopomp, and they’re some of the most valuable players in all of the afterlife.”

She’d heard this part before. She was special, rare, blah, blah, blah. She didn’t feel very special or rare. She felt overwhelmed and weary of the unknown.

Ralph twisted a piece of her long hair around her finger. “I still don’t know what that means, but if it means between crossing people to the other side, I’m always going to roam aimlessly with zero purpose, I’ll take cleaning toilets in the afterlife for three-hundred, please, Alex. At least I’ll know what my job description is.”

“Alex died,” Nina corrected. “He’s up there in the Great Beyond somewhere, with his perfect fucking diction and dry snark. The new host is Ken Jennings. Ask me, I know. I fucking watch Jeopardy and Wheel every damn night.”

Everyone groaned. “Shut up, Nina!” Marty chastised. “Let Dex and George finish.”

But Dex’s response was to laugh. “You will not roam aimlessly, Ralph. I promise you. We have word into Titus that you need help. He’s on a very delicate mission right now, but he’ll be back soon. Until then, we can help. At least from an afterlife standpoint.”

Shamus, who’d sat quietly absorbing what the couple had to say, finally spoke. “So if Ralph’s a psychopomp, why doesn’t she have any earthly properties?”

Ralph sat up straight, a bolt of energy zinging through her. “Wait, what? What does earthly properties mean?”

Shamus shot her a look of pure guilt. “I think it’s why you can still feel things. When I told you psychopomps are a lot like reapers, that’s true, except they take only the most deserving to the other side.”

“I know that. What does earthly properties mean, Shamus?” she demanded.

“Do you want me to explain?” Dex offered.

Shamus sighed, his wide chest expanding under his T-Shirt. “No. I should have told her sooner, but I didn’t want to give her false hope.”

A fit of anger spliced through her suddenly, triggering the residual resentments from her sheltered upbringing. The ones she’d buried deep while still alive. “Her is right here in the room, a whole-ass adult who’s fully capable of hearing her entire fate, thank you very much.”

She’d spent her whole life protected from everything. She loved her mother deeply. For the most part, she’d been an amazing single parent, but being sheltered the way she had left Ralph with lifelong consequences.

She was always afraid. Afraid to make a decision, afraid to take a chance, afraid she’d get hurt, or hurt someone in return.

Afraid.

Cautious.

Forever leery.

But she couldn’t do that anymore. She had to know what she was up against and face it head-on. Especially if the consequence of not doing so was ending up in literal Hell.

Shamus grabbed her hand, his eyes sending her an apology. “I’m sorry, Ralph. I was being cautious because what’s happening to you has grown into something beyond my scope. But I swear, I was only trying to make sure your ducks were in a row.”

---