Page 34 of The Accidental Ghost

Ralph smiled at him. “I’m grateful for any information you can offer, Darnell.”

“Man, I wish I’d met you a lot sooner, Darnell. It would’ve made investigating the afterlife a whole different story.”

“Well, ya know me now. If I can ever help, all ya gotta do it call.” He held out a fist to Shamus, who gave it a bump.

“Now, let’s get down to business.” Shamus held out his hands, clasping Ralph’s, giving it a squeeze. Clearing his throat, he asked, “Is anyone here?”

They all sat in silence, waiting, everyone who could breathe holding their breaths.

The flames of the battery-operated candles flickered, the chandelier swayed a bit, but otherwise, nothing.

Shamus spoke again, his hand warm against hers. “Hello up there? Anyone available to help a guy out? We could really use some afterlife assistance. I have references,” he added playfully.

His deep voice thrummed though her veins, oddly soothing despite the fear of what they were doing.

They sat in more silence and waited, until Nina got antsy.

The vampire looked up at the ceiling. “Look, you little see-through motherfuckers, we need your GD help. Get the fuck down here and lend a hand to a fellow ghost. Now,” she snarled.

Almost instantly, the room became so still, Ralph would swear she heard her hair grow.

Just as quickly, it felt like someone squeezed all the air out of the atmosphere. The table shifted and a low hum buzzed in her ears.

Shamus nodded to Nina, acknowledging her threat, his expression surprised. “I think that actually helped.”

Ralph’s head nearly did a 360 on her neck. Nina’s threat had helped. In the corner, right near a spare chair, a balding man hovered. He had a worried expression on his face as he rested his arms on his paunchy belly. His gray suit was wrinkled, but his black shoes were shiny. The black cap he held in his hands looked worn, as though he’d turned it between his fingers so much, he’d worried the color off.

She didn’t know if she was supposed to address him or not, but some strange impulse took over and she nodded. “Hello. Thank you for answering our distress call. I’m Ralph.” She smiled in the hopes it would encourage him to talk to her.

Nina’s eyes narrowed and her nostrils flared. Ralph had learned that was a sign she was suspicious. “Somebody’s here? Where the fuck are they?”

Marty gripped Nina’s hand, her turban crooked. “Hush!” she hissed. “Let the man do his job.”

But Shamus remained patient. “Yes. Someone’s here.” Focusing his eyes on the corner, he smiled. “I’m Shamus Ransom. What’s your name?”

His tiny eyes turned into slits in his head. “Her!” he howled so loud, so sharp, the word echoed around the dining room, making the three women and the demon cover their ears. He’d yelled so loud, he’d actually pierced their plane.

“Fuck! Tell him to shut up!” Nina demanded, her eyes wildly scanning the room. “Jesus Christ!”

Wanda, Marty, and Darnell looked positively green.

“Heeeeerrrr!” he bellowed again, paying no mind to anyone in the room, his gaze fastened on Ralph.

“What about her? What do you know about Ralph?” Shamus asked, remarkably calm, considering this guy was breaking the sound barrier.

The ghost held a chubby finger out and pointed it at Ralph. “He wants her! He wants her! He’s gonna get her!”

He. Who the blankety-blank was he?

Ralph trembled, gripping Shamus’s hand. “Who wants me? Why?”

“Where is this motherfucker?” Nina asked, rising from her chair with a menacing stance, her eyes scanning the room. “Tell him to leave her alone and fuck with me!”

But Shamus held up a hand, still insanely calm. “It’s okay, Nina. Please. Let me talk to him.”

She groused, but Wanda yanked her arm and made her sit down, whispering, “Sit. Don’t choose violence today.”

The man cowered in the chair, his transparent face filled with fear when he looked to Nina, and really, who could blame him. When she glared in your direction, she could melt metal.

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