He stiffened. Beau had not just gone there.
“I know you, brother. Inside and out. I know it’s burned you alive over the years—always thinking you weren’t good enough and that your family tossed you away.”
“They did toss me away.” Because they’d known even then that something was wrong with me? The thought that had run through his head all his life.
My family abandoned me when I was two years old. What in the hell had a two-year-old done that was so bad his family walked away and left him on a New Orleans street?
“I am your family,” Beau told him fiercely. “I will never toss you away. I will never walk away.”
No, Beau would not. Beau would try to fix him, as he’d done over and over again during their lives. Beau would try to help him. Always. Even when the guy should cut his losses and walk away. “You got the doctor of the dead to come to town for me.”
“Just working my usual miracles.”
“She’s going to find more bodies.”
“Then maybe she’ll find proof on those bodies that will keep that prick Micah locked up. Because so what if he doesn’t have marks from a taser? Maybe it didn’t leave marks. Maybe it didn’t cut through his clothes. Did you actually see him go down from the charge?”
No, he hadn’t. Royal gave a negative shake of his head.
“I’d do anything for you.” Beau’s face had gone very, very serious. “I’d help you bury a body any day of the week, you know that. Only when we bury them, even the doctor of the dead wouldn’t be able to dig them back up.” Beau squeezed his shoulder. “I’m your family,” he said again. “And that woman out there? The woman who has those sad eyes that look like she’s just seen into hell? Why don’t you try telling her how you really feel? Because I get the feeling she already knows some of your secrets, and she’s not running away. Instead, she’s coming in to check on you. She’s running to you.”
Royal swallowed. “I’m not good for her.”
“Then be bad for her. Be the baddest bastard in the world. Be the bastard who protects her from any and every threat. You’re good at that kind of thing.” He let Royal go. “Now shall we go back and pretend that we’re civilized?”
“I’ll never be civilized.”
“Yeah, well, being civilized is boring as hell, so I figure it just was never for us.”
“She needs someone civilized,” he heard himself say. “Someone polished. Someone who’ll always be a gentleman.” And not fuck her in the back of a car on the way home from a police station.
“Gentleman don’t get jack done.” Beau laughed. “You think a gentleman would know how to handle a killer? Not likely. Besides, why are you rattling off negatives? Let’s be positive. You’ve got money to burn, you worship the woman, and you’ll break the hand of anyone who hurts her. Win, win, win.” He sauntered for the door. “Pretend you have control. Even if you don’t. I don’t know her brother, so I don’t trust him. We never show our weaknesses to those we don’t trust.”
Royal didn’t show his weaknesses to anyone.
Just like he didn’t share his deepest, darkest secrets with anyone but Beau.
Except…I shared with Violet.
“Tell her you love her. See what she does. I think it might surprise you.” Beau’s back was to him.
“I…don’t.”
“Ah, cute. That lie just got caught in your throat.” Beau looked back. “Want to try saying the words while you stare into my eyes? Wanna try lying right to my face? Think you can pull it off?”
Royal didn’t speak.
“Didn’t think so,” Beau muttered, satisfied. “Just like I don’t think you’ll be able to lie to her face.”
“She’ll…leave.” Shit. Why the hell had that slipped out?
Beau shook his head. “When they love you back—when someone really loves you—they don’t leave.” A pause. “I didn’t leave.”
But what if she doesn’t love me back?
And then, from the darkest part of himself…Why would she love me?
“What in the hell is happening here?” Micah yanked at the handcuff around his right wrist. The cuff attached to the railing on the side of his hospital bed. “I’m a victim! Victim! I should be treated with care and respect, and I shouldn’t have my ass handcuffed!” He yanked at the cuff again.