Page 6 of The Tryst

My mom cranes her neck and her face softens when she spots Holland standing beside a table that holds a simple white marble urn and a bouquet of white flowers.

My parents move that way, followed by my siblings. I, however, stop in my tracks as I take in everything about Holland Rhodes. All the ways she’s changed and all the ways she’s still the same.

Always a beautiful creature, I’m dazzled just as much now as I was back then. Her golden hair, which always lightened in the summer because we were outside all the time, falls in soft waves around her shoulders. Her warm brown eyes seem even more striking against the sadness etched on her face. She never wore a lot of makeup but then again, she didn’t need to. She has one of those classic faces with high cheekbones and full lips, and while other girls were playing with makeup once they hit their teen years, Holland never did. She was a tomboy of sorts, but Iknow she liked girlie things too. She never felt the need to call attention to herself and it was one of the things I found attractive about her as she got older.

Her mother, Debbie, crying copiously and dressed in a frumpy black dress, looks like a watered-down version of Holland. She doesn’t have her daughter’s height and she hasn’t taken good care of herself over the years. Her skin is sallow, eyes sunken, and I don’t know if that’s grief or evidence of an unhappy life. I never had much chance to cross paths with Debbie over the years so the change in her appearance is shocking.

Holland pats her mom’s shoulder gently while trying to hold a conversation with someone offering their condolences.

I hang slightly back as the rest of the family approaches. My mom is the first to hug Holland and there’s joy on both their faces.

“Ah, my dearie, it’s grand to see you, though I wish it were under better circumstances.” My mom’s soft Irish brogue can warm the bleakest of days.

The women hold on tightly to each other for a few moments, with Holland’s eyes closed as she seems to soak in the experience of Fi Blackburn’s arms wrapped around her. She always had a special bond with my mom.

My dad steps in, giving her shoulder a firm, reassuring squeeze. “We’re here for you, Holland. Always.”

Wade doesn’t hesitate, maneuvering in to wrap her in a brotherly hug. “It’s been too long. We’ve missed you.”

Yeah… we all missed her. Let there be no mistake though, we’re all disappointed and maybe even a bit angry over the way she just up and disappeared from our lives. But it’s a sad day, her father’s funeral, and now is not the time for recrimination. Of course, no one in the family except me knows exactly why sheleft and while I may have been the root cause, she still could have let me know she was going away.

She could have said goodbye.

So yeah, I’m a little bitter, but also my heart is pounding just looking at her.

Ethan, who was so much older than Holland and never part of our little crowd, wasn’t close to her the way the rest of us Blackburn siblings were. He offers a polite hug. “Condolences, Holland. If there’s anything you need, just let us know.”

Ethan didn’t bring his daughter, Sylvie, to this funeral. She didn’t know Lyle Rhodes and she’s been around enough death lately, having lost her mom. I expect she’s hanging out with Ethan’s girlfriend, Marcie. As I watch Holland greet each of us in turn, knowing I’m almost up, I kind of wish I was with Sylvie and Marcie too.

Kat and Gabe approach together, and I see the surprise on Holland’s face as she takes them in as a couple. As a close friend and honorary member of the Blackburn clan, she shared in our loathing of the Mardraggon family, so I imagine it’s quite a shock to see them holding hands.

Kat steps in for a hug and when she pulls back, Holland levels wide eyes at Gabe. “Wow… things sure have changed in the last ten years.”

“Eleven,” Kat reminds her with a grin. “And yes, everyone’s counting. But we’re so happy to see you, even if under these circumstances. Welcome home.”

Not sure if anyone else notices but Holland flinched at the mention of “home”, and I know just from that slight reaction that she doesn’t consider this to be a homecoming at all.

Glancing at Gabe, Kat shoots a wink at Holland. “I’ll explain later. Promise we’ll do lunch?”

Holland hesitates but agrees. She then glances around, eyes moving right over me as if I don’t exist. “I’d like that. Is Abby here?”

“She lives in Pittsburgh now. She wanted to come, but work got in the way. Wanted me to pass on condolences. She said she’ll give you a call in the next day or so.”

Holland nods and then, almost as if she has no choice, her eyes slide to me. I step forward, feeling a mix of awkwardness and longing. There’s no choice but to pull her into a hug and I immediately feel the tension in her body. “I’m sorry for your loss, Holland.”

She leans back, her eyes meeting mine with a guarded expression. “Thank you.”

My mom, dad and Wade have stepped over to talk to Debbie and Ethan is hobnobbing with some of the other businessmen. Kat and Gabe meander off, leaving me and Holland alone.

I clear my throat, searching for the right words. Hands tucked in the pockets of my dress slacks, I ask, “How are you holding up?”

She shrugs, her voice detached, gaze everywhere but on me. “I’m managing.”

“It’s been a long time. I can’t believe you’re here. You never came back to visit.”

Her eyes flash as they snap back to my face. “Because of you. Surely you know that.”

The words sting and I’m the one flinching now. “I’m sorry, Holland. I never meant to hurt you.”

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