Page 3 of My Wife

I squeeze the rose’s stem so tightly, it nearly snaps. “Yes.”

He holds up his hand. “Okay. I don’t want you to think I’m stalking you or anything, Cyn, but when news got back to us at home that something happened to Clay… how you sounded when you called… I didn’t want to bother you for updates. The cops wouldn’t talk to me because, shit, why would they? So I set up an online alert. Any news that might’ve popped on Clay’s case, I’d get a message sent to me.”

That’s pretty smart, actually. Considering I feel like the LFPD has been giving me the run around, I should do the same thing.

“Anyway,” he continues, “I got a notification three days ago. Clay’s name was on this funeral home website, saying there would be a private burial for Clayton Rivers today. I figured, even if you didn’t want to invite any of us, I could still come, hide out in the crowd.” His gaze darts around the empty graveside. “That obviously didn’t work, but I’m even more glad I came. No one should have to mourn by themselves.”

Fuck.Fuck. Those tears stinging my eyes from before? They begin to spill over.

Tommy Gillis, man.

I blink them back. After how much I hurt him when we were kids, I don’t deserve his sympathy. I sure as hell won’t stand here and cry, grieving over the man I cheated on him with, all while Tommy joins me as the only other mourner.

And then he smiles again. There’s pain in that smile. Heartache. Matching grief.

Two warring thoughts dash through my mind:I’m so fucking sorry, and one of the things my devoted husband said to me time and time again over the last couple of years…

Clay loved me. I don’t doubt that one bit. When we got together, we both lost Tommy, and despite my three-year relationship with him, Clay gave up his lifelong best friend when he chose a happy-ever-after with me.

I feel so fucking cheated. He promised me forever and all we got were five short years.

He wouldn’t have left me. Someone took him from me, and if I ever find out who, I’d kill them myself. I really would. He was my life, and now that he’s gone, I don’t know what the hell I’m supposed to do.

Tommy knows. Murmuring words of sympathy, saying all the right things that people who go to the funeral say even when those truly shattered by the death don’t want to hear it, he lets me surreptitiously wipe away my tears as I realize that this is it. Thisisgoodbye.

My husband is gone, and I’m little more than a ghost.

The wind cuts through me. My long blonde hair blows all around and I wish I would’ve pinned my hair up. I didn’t because Clay liked it down. He liked it long. It was something small I could do, and as I shove my hair out of my face, I don’t even think about taking a hair tie out to pull it back in a ponytail.

When I don’t respond to Tommy, he falls silent. I crave the quiet. His presence at my side does help, and I’m not sure if it’sbecause I’m not alone—or because it’s Tommy fucking Gillis who is standing mere inches away.

Our hands brush. An electric charge rushes through me, and I take a hurried step away from him.

Tommy clears his throat. “What’s your plan now, Cyn?”

I blink at him, not comprehending what he’s asking me.

“You know. Clay… he’s not here anymore. There’s nothing keeping you in New Jersey.” He hesitates for a moment. “Is there?”

Only the fact that Clay died here and I don’t think I could ever truly move on with my life if I never find out what happened to him. Is that enough of a reason to stay? I’m going to sell our house; that’s non-negotiable since I can’t stay there any longer without seeing my husbandeverywhere. But I don’t have a job here. I didn’t want one, and Clay was more than happy to have a stay-at-home wife. Because I rarely left the house, I didn’t make new friends. I don’t even have a pet. I could pick up and leave as soon as I decided to… but where would I go?

I shake my head, and Tommy answers my unsaid question.

“What about home?”

“Gullhaven?” Is he serious? “You think I should move back to California?”

“I mean… yeah. Cyn, I know you left because of what happened to your mom?—”

I turn my head away from Tommy. “I don’t like to talk about that.”

“I get it. Ido. But Gullhaven is home. I’m sure you have good memories there, too.”

I fell in love with Clay in Gullhaven.

I fell out of love with Tommy in Gullhaven.

He moves closer. Through the late autumn temperature, I can sense his body heat reaching out for me. “You have friends there, Cyn. Not for nothing… you have me.”

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