Page 76 of Knotted Laces

I feel another pulse slice through my belly—pain and longing and guilt—but thankfully it’s not theonlything I feel. Sitting next to Athena, watching her with the kitten, and I’m feeling the same sense of completion that I had up at the cabin, especially when she smiles up at me.

My future shifted, things were taken from me.

But that doesn’t mean I can’t pivot with it, can’t be fuckinghappy.

That’swhat I need to focus on, need to move toward.

“You okay?” Athena asks and for a second I think she’s talking to me.

Then I realize her focus is on Chrissy—who went pale, clamped a hand to her mouth, and then rushed out of the space not five minutes ago.

Yup.

Definitely pregnant.

Chrissy’s hand shifts slightly, covering her belly, and she nods. “It’s…” Her eyes flick to Athena’s. “Well, we’re not really telling anyone, and the timing won’t be great”—to mine—“in terms of the season, but Rome and I are…” She looks around, drops her voice. “Pregnant.”

Another pulse, but that’s gone the moment Athena shifts and presses her thigh to mine, offering silent comfort.

Not distant.

Not pulling away.

Coming close.Mine.

“Congratulations,” she tells Chrissy softly.

“Congrats,” I say, proud my voice is even.

Chrissy tilts her head to the side, studying me. “Why don’t you sound surprised?”

I wince. “I suspected, considering how closely Rome has been hovering.” Even now our captain is in the corner of the room, watching Chrissy intently as he changes out some of the cat perches and climbing apparatuses that are looking a little worse for wear.

He narrows his eyes at me and nods, as though warning me to not upset his woman.

I nod back, silently communicating that I wouldn’t dare…and that I owe him a celebratory beer.

A kid.

Jesus, that feels like a big step.

That I’ll never have.

I grit my teeth together.

Athena shifts a little closer.

I shove the grief down,deepdown. This isn’t about me, isn’t about what I lost. This…is about people I love having things that make their lives complete.

“I’m really happy for you both,” I say softly, leaning in to hug her around the kittens and cats who’ve already moved in to claim her. “You’ll be great parents.”

Her smile is as bright as her soul. “Thank you,” she whispers, hugging me back. “That means a lot coming from you.”

I exhale, tug a strand of her hair, then wince as a kitten uses my leg for a scratching post. Scooping it up, I cuddle it close as she keeps talking.

“We wanted to wait to tell everyone until the twelve week mark,” she says then makes a face. “Unfortunately, me having to run off and puke every thirty minutes is making that hard.”

“The kid has his own time frame already, huh?” Athena teases.

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