Page 50 of The Fall

“Caesar. Droolius Caesar. I could show you some pictures of him.”

“For Droolius,” I say.

Cam bursts out laughing. “Okay. If you’re sure, then...okay.”

I sigh with relief and Sharon lights up, clapping her hands together.

“Let’s get started, shall we?”

For the most part, Cam is decisive. She asks for my opinion on a few things and lets the boys have a say in what we get for their bedrooms. When the boys are both occupied, I give her hand a quick squeeze, testing the waters to see if we’re still okay, and she smiles.

“Thank you, Rowan. No one has ever given me such a generous gift.”

“You deserve it. I wanted to do something that would make you happy.”

“This is so much. I can’t even wrap my mind around it.”

I want to kiss her, but I can’t with the boys watching. Maybe tonight I will, after they’re in bed. Just one kiss, and then we can both go to sleep, me on the couch and her in her bed.

It’ll be a perfect prelude to blue balls. Guess I better get used to it.

For now, anyway.

CHAPTER NINETEEN

Cam

Rowan Kelly ison my couch right now.

How can I possibly sleep knowing that? He spent the entire day with me and the boys, taking us out to eat after we shopped and then stopping by his house to pack a few things and pick up his dog, Duke. Then we all played Monopoly, which Sam gleefully won. I cooked frozen pizzas for dinner and the boys got sleepy while watchingThe Grinchand went to bed.

It was a perfect day. Furniture I’ve never even dreamed of owning is being delivered to my house on Monday. And I don’t feel all that guilty about how much it cost because Rowan made sure I didn’t overhear the final price.

I think it was enough for Droolius Caesar to get his surgery because Sharon hugged both Rowan and me before we left the store.

As excited as I am about the furniture and the great day the four of us had together, I’m practically buzzing over Rowan being in my living room right now.

Speaking of buzzing...I look over at my bedside table, where I keep a toy locked inside a little box because you never know when one of my boys might open the drawer.

I could get it out, resolve the desire that’s pooling between my thighs, and go back to sleep. Rowan has the whole weekend off, and he mentioned taking us shopping for a Christmas tree tomorrow. I want to be energized for the day and cook dinner tomorrow. Something that feels fancy but is still easy to make, like pasta carbonara. My boys think I’m a rock star chef when I make that.

What if Rowan hears the buzzing of my toy, though? That would be super embarrassing.

Well, mostly embarrassing. I kind of like the idea of him knowing I’m in heretoyingwith myself. Surely that would make him at least knock on the door?

It would be worth it if he did. I’m so turned on knowing he’s out there that it’s distracting. It’s been building all day long. The way he cut up Tate’s chicken strips for him at lunch and gave Sam his gloves when Sam’s hands got cold while we were shopping stirred something inside me.

Then he kept giving me that sexy, secret smile while we were playing Monopoly. No woman could maintain a normal core temperature with him smiling at her like that.

I deliberately sat in a chair when we watched a movie because I didn’t trust myself not to sneak my hands into his lap beneath a blanket.

He said yesterday that he needs time to figure out if he can be the man I need. I need him right now, though. I need him to remind me I’m not just a mom, a paralegal and a responsible homeowner, but also a woman.

A woman who hasn’t had sex in almost two years. And the last sex doesn’t even count because I wasn’t even close tocoming. My vagina has endured a serious drought, and there’s a very tall drink of water right in my living room at this moment.

I can’t sleep like this. I throw the covers aside, turn on my bedside lamp, and check my reflection in the wall mirror. It’s probably not helping my arousal level that I’m wearing a short, silky, black chemise with skinny straps. I push my boobs up—just in case, then throw on my worn pale-purple terrycloth robe and tie it at the waist.

“Hey,” Rowan says when I walk down the stairs to the living room.

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