Page 41 of The Heir

Even my attempts to see Ryker went badly. He always had football games or practices. Ash was also busy. Her home life, she said, was demanding, and although I didn’t exactly knowwhat that meant, she seemed embarrassed about it when she told me, and I didn’t want to pressure her. Maybe she needed to help more around her house or something.

So two weeks passed, and I felt more alone than ever. That is what brought me to Ryker’s porch. I didn’t want to see his dad again, since that night when he had found me and Ryker asleep together, because I felt extremely uncomfortable, but I was tired of being alone.

“Hello, Mr. Dall. Is Ryker home?” I asked, surprised to see his Dad home so early in the day.

“Sorry, honey, he isn’t.” He shut the door, and I turned and walked back down the steps, a little numb and confused.Why do things in life always have to change?

Ryker was completely engrossed in his research and talking to hisfriends,who I understood to be Shad’s family’s business to gather moreintel. I usually could find Ryker before school near his locker, so I hurried to his locker the next morning.

“Ry, where have you been?” I asked, out of breath as I reached him. I ran all the way from the end of the hall.

“Hey, Em, sorry. I have been so busy. Dad said you came by last night,” he said, closing his locker.

“Yeah, it’s so weird how busy you have been. I mean, you've always done football and sports, and we still hung out, right?”

“Well, I have other things, too, you know,” he remarked, picking up his football bag and slinging it over his shoulder.

“Have you found out anything new?” I asked with a gulp, not sure if I really wanted to know.

“Not yet, but they are working on it.”

“Your friends?”

He nodded, shaking his curls from his face and looking past me, not at me.

“Shad told me you are using his family’s company.”

“Wow, he really doesn’t care about the confidentiality agreement,” he snapped.

“Why didn’tyoutell me?”

“I didn’t think it really mattered.” He shrugged, looking at me for only a moment before looking anywhere but at me.

“Shad said his family’s company is really good at finding people,” I added. I may have looked into his company and at least from the online reviews, there were mostly five stars.

“Not so far—it’s been two weeks.”

“Ry, we should do something together. I miss you.”

He touched my shoulder, and I was instantly cold.

I moved his hand away.

He looked strangely at me, and then cleared his throat.

“Maybe next week, Em. I will let you know.” Then without another word, he turned and walked away.

After our conversation by his locker,I saw Ryker at school more often, but only for half of lunch, and we were always surrounded by our friends and could not talk about private stuff. I texted him plenty of times, asking how he was doing, telling him that I missed him, and he always responded by telling me that he was sorry and that he missed me, too, and that things would be less crazy soon, and that I should be patient. I didn’t really know what to think about all of that.

With my attempt to hang out with Ash being a bust, and then Ryker being too busy for anything—I needed to make another attempt at Shad. I assumed it was up to me to make a gesture. He, after all, had invited me to his house, and I had not once invited him anywhere, well other than that pool party. That realization made me feel like an idiot.

Maybe he is pulling away a bit because he thinks that I am not interested? But, oh man, I am completely and utterly interested in him.Didn’t I hold his hand at lunch? Didn’t I hug him and let him hug me? What does he think that was?Ithought about the orange rose on my nightstand and smiled. It had not moved at all, unlike the lavender rose. And after taping the lavender rose to the wall in the bathroom, it hadn’t moved either. That proved to me that I had been walking in my sleep or something before and had moved it myself. Pushing my random rose thoughts aside, I thought back to Shad. If there was to be any hope of having a relationship with him. I needed to make a move.

Chapter Thirteen

Regardless of my lack of a social life, I had gotten through another one of my parents’ boxes in the attic. I found another letter and was saving it until later. Their letters always seemed to pull too heavy on my emotions. The box I went through was full of baby things that were mine. There were post-it notes attached to different items of clothing, indicating when and where I had worn the clothing and how old I was when wearing it. It was fun to go through my baby clothes and see what I wore at my first Christmas and other holidays. I sat back against the box and held up a little lavender baby romper with a tag on it, noting: “First Birthday.” I smiled and felt the fabric. It reminded me of the lavender rose, the one Shad had given to me.

I made my way from the attic to the living room. Mary was working late that night at the flower shop, and I had the house to myself. I checked the digital clock on the mantel as I made my way to my room. That digital clock was a new addition after my parent’s death. Mary had removed all the face clocks from the house, as we learned during those first weeks after the loss, that they were a trigger for me. She purchased all new digital clocks.The watch my father had been wearing the night he died had been stored away so I would never have to see it again.

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