Page 20 of The Heir

“I am rather curious.”

“I knew it,” he said in a triumphant laugh that made my head spin. “That is wonderful, so you will come?”

“Yes. When is a good time?” I asked.

“If right now doesn’t work, is Thursday after school okay?”

“Right now, I should really be doing my math homework.”

“Right, and how is that going?”

“I should probably hang up, so I can find out—”

“Not so fast, you didn't answer if Thursday after school would work. I just figured I would throw tonight out there to give you some options. I hear that is the polite thing to do.”

“Glad you have some manners.”

“Yes, I am definitely a gentleman, so Thursday then?”

I thought about Thursday, and knew I didn’t have any plans.When do you ever have plans, Emma?I shook that thought away. It was just mean; I had plans,sometimes–it is just rare.I stopped to think about what I should do.Okay, so should I go to his house? I mean, of course, I want to, but I do not actually know Shad, do I? He had given me that rose, which proved to me that he was nice, or I guess, possibly a flirt?No, he isn’t a flirt. I saw girls introducing themselves to him all day today, didn’t I? Not once, while I was staring at him—Yes, I was watching him every chance I got—and not once, did he flirt back.He was polite, but nothing more.

I thought back to lunch, when Ryker was rude to Shad. Shad had kept his cool and didn’t get upset or fight or argue. That told me so much about him already. Plus, beyond all of that, I just wanted to know him, and I was just drawn to him; of course, I didn’t know why, but maybe if I could just hug him—what would it be like to kiss his perfect face? I pushed that thought away so I could focus. Maybe if I hugged him–got to know him better I could go back to being normal? But what was mynormalanyway—zombie me? I did not want that.

“Yes, I mean, that should work. I do need to ask my aunt. She is working late tonight, so I can’t ask her right now, or I would. She is probably going to get home really late. She has a shipment of bridal flowers coming in, and she usually works late when she is preparing for a wedding. So it would be too late to text tonight, but I could let you know tomorrow at school. It will probably be fine.” I buried my head in the pillow again.Stupid stupid stupid! Way to make yourself ramble on for a half hour about nothing!

“Great. That sounds perfect. I could take you home after school.”

“Great. That should work for now,” I tried my hardest not to ramble again, biting my lip.

“Well, thank you for calling me tonight, Emma. If you don’t mind, I am going to save your number in my contacts.”

I felt the recent regular warmth flush over my face yet again. Was he seriouslyaskingto save my number? Why wouldn’t he just do it? Him asking, I had to admit, made it feel a little more personal, and I liked it. He was different–but in a good way.

“Of course, no problem.”

“It was wonderful talking with you. See you tomorrow at school. Have a great evening, Emma. I am also looking forward to your pool party tomorrow.” He wasn’t an average sixteen year old boy, speaking to me like that. I pictured him without a shirt on, and I bit my lip. What did he look like shirtless? I tried to focus on the conversation and not on whether or not he had defined abs, which I decided that he did, indeed, have.

“Oh—yeah, you, too! Goodnight,” I rushed my words out, waiting for him to hang up. Once he did, I fell on my bed face first, kicking my feet and punching the pillow. I let out a scream into the bed and flipped myself around. I felt like an idiot, and Iwasan idiot—but an idiot who was going to hang out with Shad the next day at the pool party and then again that Thursday. I giggled and looked up at my ceiling. I felt so light, like I was walking on air. I was happy, and I loved every moment of that feeling. Was it possible that I could really heal? Could I really have a happy life even with such a tragedy in my past?

Yes.

I lay there contemplating our conversation on the phone, looking at the note there in my notebook in Shad’s handwriting—which I had decided was masculine, beautiful, and neat—all at the same time. But before I could draw hearts all over the pageand write “EmmaheartsShad,” I was interrupted by a sound at my window. I sat up and heard it again; it sounded like a little tap. I pulled back the curtain and opened the glass. I looked down, and there, Ryker stood, waving up at me.

“You know, I do have a phone, right? You could just text me. What is wrong with everyone today?”

“I like to practice my throw,” he offered with a laugh. “Come down,” he called. I nodded and closed my window. I walked down the hall and down the stairs. Just as I was about to open the front door, I stopped, and out of habit, was about to call to my parents in the kitchen that I was going outside with Ryker—when I realized that my parents were gone. I stood there, looking at the dark kitchen for a moment, proud of myself for not crying. I realized that I was feeling okay—okay about life, the way I must have felt when they were alive. No, not exactly as I had been. I was better; I was acting like a real person, a person with feelings. It was hard to remember, exactly, how I was before their deaths, but it was clear to me that I wasn’t the same person anymore. Was I happy before? Did I smile and get excited about life?No, I didn’t. I recalled a few memories and some of the times spent with Ryker and my dad under the stars, and other moments with my mother thatseemedhappy.

There must be so much missing. There has to be more, right? Even with Shad making things clearer and easier to see, my life before my parents’ passing was empty. Still, I could not help but feel more complete, more whole when I was with Shad. When I was with him, he made me feel like I wasn’t a lost or broken thing. How was it that he made me feel more whole only after knowing him for such a brief time? I used to feel peace with Ryker, like he was myhomeandlife, but that wasn’t enough anymore. Being with Ryker could never fill the void that I had inside, and I realized that after meeting Shad. I wondered what my mother would say about Shad’s wardrobe and whatmy father would say about the way he talked. I smiled at those thoughts because although it was sad that they were gone, I knew that I could be happy—sometimes, at least, and Shad had given that to me, somehow.

I walked onto the porch. It wasn’t late enough to be dark out, but I could tell from the peach and red sky that the sun was going to set soon. The front porch felt warm on my bare feet as I stood outside. Ryker sat on the front steps, and I walked to him and sat down beside him. He swung an arm across my shoulders, and I leaned into him as he expected I would, like I always had. He smelled like summer and home, and it was nice, even though he didn’t give me the same rush of feelings that Shad gave me. He was still Ryker, still my best friend—my family.

“How was practice?”

“It was good. I missed it this summer,” he said.

“Yeah, I bet,” I said, looking at him. He looked different. He had dark circles under his eyes, and his hair,is it thinning out? Isn’t he way too young for that? Maybe football wore him out.

“How did operation make-everyone-think-I-am-fine go today?”

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