Page 22 of The Heir

“What does that mean?” he asked harshly.

“Can you calm down? You are freaking me out, Ry.”

He walked over to me, bringing us inches apart, and placed his hands on my shoulders. “I am sorry, Emma, but when it comes to you, I lose my head sometimes.”

“It’s okay, Ry. I know you care about me. You are a great friend,” I said, pulling him in for a hug.

He grunted. He was trying to scare me away from Shad, but he wasn't using the truth to do it. I could tell, and I wanted to know why.

“Why do you have to date anyways?” he asked, his face in my hair.

“Because I want to,” I answered, thinking about what it would feel like to be in Shad’s arms instead of Ryker’s. I tried to shove that thought away because Ryker had always been my safe place, and I should never have compared him and Shad. Also, Shad had an interest in me. Ryker was only a friend.

“Emma, why do you have to grow up?” I pulled away from him and wondered why he talked that way, as if he was so much older than I was and as if he were watching a little girl growing up right there as he was looking at me.

“I am not some little girl, Ryker. I know you are lying, by the way; I know you want to protect me, but I don’t need protecting. I have been through so much, and I have survived it. I can handle things, too, you know. If I trust you, even when you are lying to me, why can't you trust me? Why can’t you tell me why you really don't like him?”

“I know, Emma. You are incredibly strong, but also fragile. You need time; I just don’t want him to hurt you. I am not trying to lie to you—only to keep you safe.”

“Why would he hurt me?” I thought for a moment back to a few years earlier when I went to the Spring Formal with Brian. It was my first date. He asked me, and I went. If Ryker had not interfered and ruined the whole night, I might have had arealrelationship, a real first boyfriend.

That hurt. His protection of me had hurt me.

How often has he done that? How often have I accepted it?Not this time. Ryker has always hurt me, and even if I could not feel it before, I feel it now.

Ryker had always told me what to do, and I had always listened to him.Why?He didn’t keep my secrets from my parents.And why had that never bothered me?Looking back, it appeared that he never let me have a relationship other than with him. That realization struck me as he hugged me even tighter. Sure, he was a safe place, but it hit me that I needed to find my way on my own terms, make my own choices. I loved Ryker, but maybe having more space away from him, and having other friends, other people than just him in my life was a good thing. I thought back to Brian at the dance. Nothing was going to happen at that dance except maybe me ending up having a boyfriend. My dad had always loved how protective Ryker was of me, but it was starting to feel like too much.

He has always protected me too much,I thought.

It felt smothering to me for the first time.

“People hurt other people. That's how it is here,” his voice turned into a whisper at the end of his words.

“Ryker, you really need to chill out a bit. I am going to be fine. Unless you can tell me something really wrong with him, I am not buying this whole ‘he isn't good enough for you’ game again. I am tired of that. I have to make my own choices.”

“You know, there was a time when you would do anything I said,” he growled at me.

I moved away, turning my back to him in irritation. That unfamiliar tone of his both startled and disappointed me, and I hated how I used to always do exactly what he said, but I wasn’t that same girl anymore, not some numb zombie. I was alive with a beating heart.

“Well, I am not doing that anymore,” I snapped as I looked back at him.

“That is apparent,” he angrily responded as he clenched his fists.

I turned fully back around. “What is going on with you? I’ve never seen you get so worked up.”

“I just don’t like him.” He shrugged his shoulders, turning away from me. “It was a hard practice today, too. I am out of shape, I am tired, and, look, I am sorry. I just—your dad would want me looking out for you.” He again brushed his fingers through his hair.

There was a heavy silence between us. He loved my parents too.

“Do you ever think about him?” I whispered, not able to stop myself before the words came spilling out of my mouth.

“Almost every day. He was a great man—an incredible friend to me,” he reminded me softly.

“He loved you, Ry. You know that, right?”

He shrugged, turning his face away from me.

“Are you sure you are okay?” I walked closer to him and placed a hand upon his shoulder. “I am a little worried about you. You look—worn out, and you have never yelled at me before.”

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