Page 83 of Single All the Way

“What’s going through your mind?” Darius asked me back in the living room.

“It checks all the boxes.”

He scrutinized me more closely. “Sounds like a but.”

I frowned, because I felt like there was abut,but I couldn’t figure out what it was. “I’m not sure…”

“If you like it, we have to move on it.”

I knew that was a fact and not some kind of manufactured pressure to get a sale. Darius wasn’t like that. The market was.

“I’m going to walk through one more time by myself, if you don’t mind,” I said.

“Of course. Take your time. The owners gave us an hour.”

“Thanks.”

I went through the entire house again, logging all the positives, noting any negatives, though there weren’t many. The linen closet was minuscule. The wallpaper in the upstairs bathroom was ugly but removable. The carpet in the upstairs bedrooms would need to be replaced. The garage was small but would protect the SUV just fine. All of these were minor.

Yet I was struggling to see the kids and me living here.

I squinted, trying to see past the current owners’ belongings to the bare bones. The rooms weren’t overlarge, but we didn’t need that much space. The layout was practical. I liked that the master was on the main level with the kids’ rooms above. The neighborhood was wonderful, with Posh just three blocks away and the grade school two or three in the other direction.

“Well?” Darius asked when I rejoined him.

“Do you know if anyone else is going through it tonight?”

“We’re the only ones they’re letting in early. They’re longtime family friends granting me a favor.”

“Wow. Nice of them. Okay.” I blew out a breath.

Logic said I needed to jump on this and make an offer tonight. But something felt off in my gut, and I couldn’t ignore it. I just needed to figure out what it was so I could determine whether it was valid.

“I need to think,” I told him.

“Emerson—”

“I know. I know, I know, I know we need to act right away. I need a little time to think. How late can I call you tonight?”

“Nine o’clock,” he said tensely. “I just don’t want you to miss out on this.”

“Me neither.” My stress level climbed higher. “I understand the risk I’m taking if I push it until tomorrow. I’ll do everything I can to call you before nine tonight, okay?”

He nodded tersely. “You might not have the luxury of being entirely comfortable with it.”

“Right.” I nodded again, distractedly, trying to put my finger on what was bothering me. “Thank you. So much. I appreciate you giving me this opportunity.”

“Of course. As soon as I saw it, I thought of you.”

We walked out and said goodbye, with a dozen puzzled glances from Darius. I got it. It didn’t make sense. Feelings didn’t make sense, but there was a feeling deep inside that I couldn’t ignore, at least until I figured out what it meant.

Once he drove away, I sat there looking at the cute little house, taking in the well-manicured evergreen shrubs in the beds and the stone-lined walkway to the porch and the ideal spot for a porch swing.

I drove around the block, taking stock of the nearby houses, noting signs of lots of families with kids. I drove to the grade school and back, then pulled into the driveway of the house to turnaround and go back to Ben’s to get the kids. Before backing out, I paused for one more long look. The most prevalent feeling in my gut was that Ishouldfall in love with this. That was different thanfallingin love with it.

Was I being stupid to wait for some fleeting feeling? I suspected so, but I couldn’t discount it until I had an idea of where it was coming from.

I had a lot to think about.