Page 68 of Single All the Way

My silence must have given them their answer.

“Have you told her how you feel?” West asked.

I shook my head. “She’s not interested in a long-term thing.”

“Maybe she would be if she knew where you stand,” Chance said.

“She wouldn’t.” I gulped down more beer. “She’s pretty cautious. She’s had a lot of losses in her life.” I didn’t figure I was giving away anything private since everyone knew her husband had been killed in combat, and her mom’s and grandma’s deaths years ago had been common knowledge.

“You have too,” Chance said.

“Which means I understand where she’s coming from,” I said. “You of all people should get it.” He’d lost his wife as well, though it’d been even longer ago than Leeann’s death.

“I saw you two together a couple of days ago when I was heading to pick up cookies for my girls at the bakery,” West said. “You have a connection, man. It was tangible.”

I hadn’t noticed West when Emerson and I made a bakery run. We’d had all four kids with us, but thinking back, I’d likely been more focused on Emerson. I’d have to be a lot more careful.

“Connection or not, she’s expressed her fears, and I respect them,” I said.

Both of them shut up for a while. I was happy to no longer be the topic of conversation and considering heading back inside when West spoke again.

“I still think you need to tell her how you feel. You love her?”

I grunted. Fuck this conversation.

“Tell her,” Chance drew out.

“That’s not what she needs,” I said.

“What aboutyourneeds?” Chance asked.

“Yeah. You’re the giving type,” West said. “You nurture the hell out of your kids and animals and, it sounds like, Emerson. But your needs count too.”

“He’s right.” Chance leaned forward to look at West on my other side and nodded emphatically. “You’ve got a soft heart under all that badass, don’t you?” he asked West.

It was West’s turn to grunt.

“But back to you,” Chance said. “Your needs are just as important as hers. Especially on this. Tell her.”

“Not going to do that,” I said, then finished off my beer.

“You sure?” West asked.

“I’m sure.”

“Okay,” Chance said. “Your call. If you’re sure, you’re sure.”

“I’m going back inside. It’s cold as balls out here, and I’m out of beer.” I turned and left those two asses outside.

Iwassure I was doing the right thing by not pressuring Emerson. It wouldn’t work and would likely ruin the short-term thing wedidhave, to say nothing of our friendship.

ChapterNineteen

Ben

This thing between Emerson and me was unofficial, difficult to label, and no obligation.

Frankly, I hated it.

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