Page 48 of The Try Line

Just as it looks like he might give up, the door is torn open. A rough voice admonishes the late interruption and then slams the door in the attendant's face after insisting that he didn't order the pizza. The attendant stands there for a moment, looking flummoxed. Then the door whips open again, and Jason swipes the pizza from the unsuspecting hotel employee before slamming the door shut again. Despite my nerves, or maybe because of them, I hold a hand over my mouth to keep in a laugh.

The poor guy that made the delivery straightens his maroon vest and grumbles to himself as he walks back to the elevator. I turn towards the vending machines, hiding my face and pretending to peruse my options until the elevator doors shut again.

Not giving myself time to overthink, I march over to the door and knock loudly.

"For fuck's sake!" Jason exclaims as he forcefully tears the door open again, most likely expecting to see the hotel attendant again. His mouth falls open in surprise when he sees me standing in the hallway instead. The pizza box falls to the ground, forgotten.

After a brief, heavy pause where we both stare at each other like idiots, I shove my way into his room. Tossing my bag on the floor, I spin on my heel and push Jason against the door before it can latch itself. He grunts in surprise when his back hits the door, but his shock wears off quickly when my mouth crashes roughly against his. His hands tighten on either side of my waist, and if his fingers weren't digging in so tightly, I'd worry that he's going to push me away. Instead, he squeezes so tightly Iknowthere will be bruises. He pulls me in tighter, our tongues and teeth clashing as I lose myself in reclaiming what's mine.

CHAPTER 21

JASON

I don't know what he's doing here or how he found me. My phone has been off since I left the house.

I've spent hours doing nothing but staring at the ceiling, imagining all the scenarios of how our lives could have gone differently. To open the door and find Mik standing there short circuited my brain a little, and before I could even begin to recover from that shock, I now have his mouth and body on mine to contend with. Every cell in my body is buzzing.

There isn't room to get a full breath, and I can't get close enough to him. I need to gain some space for clarity, but it feels impossible to stop.

"Wait," I say breathlessly, pulling back.

Mik either doesn't hear me, or he’s ignoring me. He’s still kissing me, groping me, pressing into me. I lose myself in his touch again, turning us around and grinding him into the door. Mik's hands push under my sleep pants, cupping my bare ass and pulling me harder against him.Fuck.If I don't put a stop to this now, I'll end up buried inside himagain.

Pushing myself off him, I take several steps backwards, almost toppling over the bag Mik brought with him. I stare at it with confusion.

Several tense moments pass where we're both panting, trying to come back down to reality. Finally, I get the wherewithal to speak.

"We can't do this anymore. It hurts too much." Selfishly, I'm only talking about myself, but we can't forget who else we're hurting on our path to mutual self-destruction.

"You're not leaving me again," he says firmly. His hazel eyes are dark with anger and pain.

"It would have never worked." The excuse sounds feeble even to my own ears. How long will he resent me for being so stupid? How long will I resent myself?

"You don't know that."

"You're telling me you would have walked away from the mother of your child?"

"Who says I would have walked away from her? We could have raised Jase together without being married. Without living a fucking lie."

"You think my family would have supported us when they found out about the baby?"

"We could have supported each other!" His hands fly up into his hair, pulling at the short, dark strands. "They would have either come around or they wouldn't, but we would have had each other."

"Janel would have never–"

"She knew."

My head cocks back as if I'd been slapped. "What do you mean, she knew?"

As soon as the words come out of my mouth, I’m thinking back to our first conversations after I left. How she barely talked about Mik, and didn't even attempt to invite me to the wedding. When my mom insisted I come back for the ceremony, Janel was the one to tell me not to bother making the trip. She never questioned us about the way we parted, or why we weren't speaking to each other. She never even asked me why I left so suddenly. It's because she knew.

"She knew.Knows–" He stops short in correcting himself. "I mean, I don't think she knows how many lines we crossed. But she knows something is going on between us, now as well as in the past."

"Fuck," I whisper. My mind is reeling, still stuck in my memories of how Janel treated me after I left. I was so relieved not to have to talk about him that I never considered how out of the ordinary it was.

"She kicked me out. I'm still kind of shocked over how it all went down, but she packed me a bag and told me to leave. And she knew I was coming after you."

My head is shaking of its own accord, like my subconscious is rejecting the new reality in front of me. This isn't happening. This can't be real. Is this another daydream? A new scenario that my brain is torturing me with?

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