Page 75 of Utah

Not worrying about what would happen tomorrow or the next day.

Not the doubt I held about my abilities as a mother and his as a father.

In a way, him almost dying was like a gift. We realized how much we loved each other and were willing to give us an actual shot. Yes, there were some hurdles, but we were still here. We were still trying.

And wasn’t that what love was all about?

It wasn’t all butterflies and constant elation.

It was real.

It was raw.

It hurt sometimes.

It knocked you on your ass occasionally.

But you get up again and keep trying, because to picture your life without the other person physically hurt.

Utah nuzzled my neck, kissing the spot near my ear he knew I loved.

“You keep doing that, and we’re gonna have a go at it right here in the kitchen,” I said, barely able to raise my voice above a whisper.

“Fine by me. What time does your sister get home? I wouldn’t want her walking in on us.”

“Not again, anyway. You know she still won’t sit on that side of the couch even after I cleaned it?”

Utah and I had been going at it in our living room one day, but it just so happened that Evie had left work early because she hadn’t been feeling well and walked in on us. She got a huge bruise on her shin after banging into the end table, tryingto escape. We laughed about it later but were both mortified when it first happened.

“To be safe, how about we take this to my bedroom?” I pushed him aside and hopped down.

“Don’t jump like that,” he scolded.

“Do you want to tell me what to do, or do you wanna have sex?” I grabbed his hand and walked backward.

“I can do both.”

Having Utah order me around in the bedroom was hot. Outside the bedroom, not as much.

Once we entered my room, I locked the door for added privacy.

“What do you want me to do?” I asked, my voice trembling with anticipation as I erased the distance between us. “Do you want me to take off my clothes? Do you want me to take off yours?” The room was filled with an intoxicating mix of desire and curiosity as I waited for his answer.

“Not yet.” His eyes were rapt with attention, and I melted into their depths. “I want to enjoy every second because, after this, there’s no fucking around anymore, Ria. This is it. For better or worse. You’re mine.” He placed my hand over his heart. “You’re my family now.”

I didn’t expect him to say something so tender, which was evident when my vision blurred. Before I got ahold of my emotions, a single tear danced down my cheek. He wiped it away with his thumb before tilting my head upward and placing a kiss on my lips. The gesture was endearing, sweet.

“I love you,” I whispered against his mouth.

“Not as much as I love you, baby.”

What started off as tender quickly turned ravenous. He rid me of my clothes in record time before shedding his. Then we were two naked bodies desperate for connection. Nothing else mattered at that moment except the intoxicating connection we shared.

“Get on your knees,” he demanded, his voice firm, domineering.

The soft carpet cradled my knees as I wrapped my fingers around him. The air was filled with a hushed silence, broken only by the sound of his sharp inhale. I glanced up at him, meeting his intense gaze and noticed the subtle arch of his brow, a silent encouragement.

“Lick the tip. Good girl,” he moaned, his eyelids fluttering closed as he tilted his head back. “Now put me in your mouth.”

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