Page 61 of Utah

“Did I say that out loud?” My question was rhetorical, ofcourse. I adjusted the couch blanket to rest over my lap. “Utah wants us to move in together. I meant to talk to you about it, but then everything happened.”

“Oh.” My sister took a sip of her coffee. “Him getting arrested aside, did you want to move in with him? I’m assuming you’d live at his house, right? So, I’d be alone here.”

“Yes, the plan was for me to move into his house. But it doesn’t matter now because those plans are off the table.” I spoke with conviction, but I wasn’t sure I meant what I’d said. Not wholeheartedly.

“Because he got arrested?”

“Because he beat the hell out of Will. You should’ve seen him, Evie. I didn’t even recognize Utah. Something is going on with him that I don’t understand.”

“That is pretty bad.” She wrapped her hands around her mug and blew on the hot liquid before taking another sip. “I like him, and I’m not making any excuses for his behavior, but hasn’t he been through a lot recently? You know, with his friend getting killed and then him getting stabbed. Maybe everything just collided, and he lost it.” She swallowed another sip. “Or maybe he’s morphing into a psycho. I don’t know.”

“That’s not helpful.”

“I’m half kidding. The only way you’re gonna be able to move past this is if you talk to him. Is he still in jail?”

“No, Knox said he bailed him out late last night. I thought he’d call me, but I haven’t heard from him. Which is probably for the best. I don’t think I was in the right frame of mind to talk to him last night.” I shrugged. “I still don’t know if I’m ready.”

“Take the time you need. If he can’t give that to you, then fuck him.”

“Yeah, you’re right.”

“I usually am.” She winked, giving me the briefest reprieve from my dilemma.

“If you manage to move past this hurdle and end upshacking up together, don’t worry about me. I got a raise at work and can afford the rent here by myself. For now, anyway. As long as Mr. Keel doesn’t raise it too much. If he does, I’ll just move back in with Mom.”

Our landlord hadn’t raised our rent in years. We paid much less than anyone we knew. He was a friend of our father’s, and I think it was his way of looking out for us, which we appreciated.

“Are you serious?”

“Living with Mom wouldn’t be the worst thing.”

“But what if you want to bring a guy home? Wouldn’t that be weird?”

“I’m not even in that mind frame. I told you, I have no interest in guys right now.”

“What about that guy Ben?”

She scowled at me. “Don’t you have your own love life to worry about?”

As soon as the words left her mouth, my cell rang. I stared at the name on the screen.

“It’s Utah.”

On the second ring, Evie said, “You need to talk to him sooner or later. Just get it over with.”

It rang one more time before I hit the Answer button.

“Hello.”

“Hi,” he said, his voice sounding gravellier than normal. “Can I come over so we can talk?”

There was no doubt in my mind that he’d want to know what happened the night Will kissed me. And while I’d done nothing wrong, I didn’t tell him about it as soon as it happened. But for good reason. Look what he did once he found out.

Evie shoved at my arm and pointed at the phone. She’d heard Utah’s question, and apparently, she was just as curious as to what my decision would be as he was.

“Sure.”

“Great. I’ll be there in forty-five minutes.”

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