Page 41 of Utah

“You’re complaining that he protected you from some drunk asshole?”

“Okay, maybe that’s not a good example. But he… he’s just so… frustrating. And now that I’m pregnant, he keeps asking me to quit my job, telling me he’ll take care of me. But I don’t want that. I don’t want to have to depend on him, especially since we haven’t even classified what this is between us.”

“Do you want there to be more between you? Do you want to be in a relationship with him?” Evie’s next question came out in a singsong tone. “Do you want Utah to be your boyfriend?”

“You’re too mature for your own good,” I sarcastically replied without answering her.

She tossed a throw pillow at me and laughed. “Okay, let me ask you this. Seriously.”

I groaned. “Can’t wait.”

“Do you love him?”

I parted my lips to answer, but the thing was, I’d been teetering between yes and no for weeks now. I didn’t want to blame my hormones for the surge of affection I held toward him because I wasn’t sure if those feelings were a hundred percent real. I was terrified when I heard he’d almost been killed. I cared deeply for him. I desired him. But did I love him?

The ideal answer would be yes. We were having a baby together, after all.

“It’s not that hard a question, Ria.”

“It’s not an easy one either.”

“Okay. I’ll give you that. So then answer me this. Can you picture your life without Utah in it? How would you feel if he got with someone else? How would you feel if he died?”

“I don’t even want to think about that question. It’s too upsetting.”

“Which one?”

Silence stole my voice for a moment as I tried to calm thesudden and erratic rush of blood in my veins. A warmth caressed my skin, and my eyes welled yet again.

“All of them,” I finally answered.

“You love him.”

I didn’t argue because my younger sister was probably right.

23

“Turn right up here.” Prez pointed to an area up ahead. Marek followed his instruction, throwing the vehicle in Park once we were off the road. It was pitch-black outside, and I prayed we were in a secluded area and not one surrounded by the cartel.

“Where are we?” I asked.

Marek turned to face me, Stone, and Brick. “We’re a couple miles out from the warehouse. We have an hour before we meet, so I wanted to make sure we scope out a place for the other guys to stay until we need them.”

“You meanifwe need them, right?” Brick asked. “Fuck, I hope we don’t need them.” His hushed words were heard loud and clear by all of us.

“Me too,” Prez responded. “But we just don’t know.”

Stone asked the question I’d been wondering for some time now. “Do we really think Rafael would make us come to Mexico just to kill us? He was the one who kept putting off the meeting for months. Why lure us in just to end us? I’m sure he could’ve taken care of us back in Texas if he wanted to.”

“I have no idea what his intentions are or if he has any at all,” Marek responded. “Just because I saved his life oncedoesn’t mean I know him well. Only his reputation, which is that he’s ruthless. For all we know, he backed his nephew’s decision to retaliate against us for breaking the deal he made with Dax and Miles months ago.” He shrugged. “Who the fuck knows.”

“Great,” I mumbled. “So, we don’t know shit. We’re just praying they don’t blow our heads off.” Several controlled breaths did nothing to calm the erratic pulse in my veins.

“From your mouth to God’s ears,” Stone mumbled.

“What God?” I asked.

“Let’s pray he exists tonight,” Brick said as he hopped out of the vehicle and slammed the door, the thud reverberating through every muscle in my body.

---