Page 33 of Utah

Caught up in chitchat for the next several minutes, I was startled when someone wrapped their arm around my waist.

“Sorry. Didn’t mean to scare you.” Utah kissed the top of my head, and for some reason, I looked directly at my brother. There was a part of me who thought maybe he’d still be pissed off seeing any kind of interaction between us, but the only expression he showed was a lazy grin.

“You okay?” I asked, noticing something seemed off about his eyes, but I couldn’t pinpoint what. I didn’t give it much thought, however, because wewereat a funeral.

“Yeah, I’m fine.” His tone belied his words, but I didn’t press him in front of everyone. “I’m gonna ride back with one of the guys. I know you have to go home and get changed for work.”

“I have time. I can drop you off at the clubhouse.”

“Don’t worry about it. I’ll see you later.”

Before I could respond, he dropped his arm from my waist and headed toward some of the guys standing by one of the SUVs.

I had the oddest feeling wash over me as he walked away, and I couldn’t help but wonder if Utah was truly going to be okay.

18

“And then he crashed his bike a third time,” Dax said, chuckling at the memory. “I thought he was gonna kill himself before he learned how to handle the damn bike. But I had to give it to him. He was determined.” Our VP took a swig of his beer, a lopsided grin tipping his lips.

“How about the time one of the wannabes told him he knocked her up and she needed money to take care of it? Then she came back a couple weeks later telling him it didn’t take and she needed more money.” A collective roar of laughter broke out. “When she came back a third time, I had to step in,” Rascal said, patting his big belly. “Damn kid was too naïve.”

“But he was the first to help any one of us out in a pinch,” I added.

“Sure was,” Rez said. “No hesitation either.”

A brief and comfortable silence fell around us.

“To Crash.” Renner raised his drink in the air, and we all mirrored the gesture.

For the next hour, we recalled stories about our redheaded brother. He’d joined the Knights Corruption seven years ago, which was one year after I did. Prez said he just showed up atthe clubhouse one afternoon after seeing several of the guys riding through town and asked how he could join. He was from just outside of Corpus Christi and had been visiting a friend nearby. Prez recalled that he’d had a good feeling about the kid, so he let him prospect for the club, patching him in as a full member a year and a half later.

“Wow, you might wanna slow down a bit.” Knox reached to snag my beer, but I pulled away at the last second. “I don’t think you’re supposed to be drinking so much while taking those pain pills.” He attempted to remove my drink a second time, and again, he failed.

“Don’t worry about me.”

My words weren’t slurred… yet.

The California guys told us to drink up and let loose tonight in honor of Crash, and that they’d remain sober and alert in case anything popped off. So, I indulged, and this fucker was trying to dampen my alcoholic memorial.

“I just don’t want you to overdo it.”

“Maybe youshould.”

“What does that mean?”

WhatdidI mean? That he should feel as shitty about today as I did? Was that even possible? Knox hadn’t been with Crash during his final moments, so there was no way he could possibly relate to what I was going through. But did I expect him to anyway?

I never answered his question because I didn’t know how to. We stared at each other until he threw his hands in the air and walked away. He mumbled something, but I didn’t hear him, which was probably for the best.

I was left alone for a whole two minutes before someone straddled the barstool beside me.

“How you doin’?” Ryder asked, angling his body toward me. His dark hair was a tad shorter than the last time I saw him.

“Peachy,” I sarcastically responded.

“That good?” His forced laughter died seconds later. “Listen, I know what you’re dealin’ with.”

“Oh yeah?” My gruffness wasn’t a deterrent like I’d hoped. But something told me this guy couldn’t care less what type of mood I was in. “Did someone die in front of you, someone you couldn’t save?”

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