Page 2 of Utah

As I blocked him from sight and embraced the darkness, a piercing boom rang out the moment I accepted my fate.

2

“Are you feeling all right?”

Lost to thoughts of Utah and where he disappeared to consumed me, so much so, I hadn’t heard Will’s initial question. It wasn’t until he waved his hand in front of my face that I snapped out of my trancelike state.

“I’m sorry. What did you say?”

He brushed his hair off his face, the dark brown strands falling back into place seconds later. “I asked if you’re feeling okay. You’ve been rubbing your stomach nonstop. Is something wrong?”

Rubbing my belly had become second nature these days, a calming habit.

“I’m fine. Just thinking,” I responded.

“About?”

“Nothing in particular.” I flashed him a grateful smile for his concern, praying he didn’t persist.

Will was sweet and had helped me on several occasions by taking shifts for me when I hadn’t felt well. But I didn’t want to get into everything that plagued me, especially when my thoughts confused me more than made sense these days.

There were times I’d catch him watching me when he thought I hadn’t noticed, making me think perhaps he liked me, but he never flirted or said anything inappropriate.

Utah, however, often told me he believed Will was interested in me. The topic of my coworker rubbed him the wrong way, but instead of assuaging his concerns, I simply told him he was crazy. A response he didn’t care for, which was always evident in the scowl on his face.

“Have you heard from Utah yet?” Lena asked, reaching around me to grab a mug. I’d told her all about how he’d begged me to let him come to the ultrasound appointment but then never showed up.

“Not yet. I called my brother last night to see if he could get in touch with him, but so far nothing.”

Lena and I had become fast friends after I started working at Rocky’s. To judge her by her appearance was a mistake. With her perfectly coiffed, bobbed brunette hairstyle, she had the look of someone who should wear pearls and be vacationing on a yacht somewhere. But her spitfire personality pushed against that notion. She never held her tongue when it came to the patrons, which was often a source of amusement.

“Maybe he’s ghosting you.”

“He wouldn’t do that,” I responded. “Besides, he can’t really ghost me. We’re having a baby together. And he’s in the same club as Knox. It’s not like he can just disappear.”

“Looks like he did.”

“Can you not put thoughts like that in my head?”

“Sorry.” She handed a customer a beer, swiping the money he put on the counter. After she gave him his change, she leaned against the bar and placed her hand on my arm. “I just want you to be realistic. From what you’ve told me, he doesn’t seem like the commitment type.”

“He’s not, but neither am I. He still wouldn’t just not showup to the appointment. At the very least he would’ve texted me to tell me he wasn’t coming.”

“If you say so.”

Debating this with her in front of Will and three male customers was the last thing I wanted to do, so I quickly changed the subject.

“Is that a new tattoo?” I pointed to the red rose surrounded by thorns on her left forearm.

“I just got it last week. It completes my sleeve.”

I didn’t have any ink, and I didn’t want any for myself, but I could appreciate an intricate work of art. Lord knew I loved looking at Utah’s entire body, which was covered in tattoos. One of his favorites was his club’s emblem which was wrapped around his left shoulder.

“I like it.”

“When are you gonna get one?” She flung a bar towel over her shoulder after wiping down the surface in front of us.

Lena’s arms, chest, and right thigh were covered in beautiful artwork, and she was always trying to convince me to get a tattoo. She said virgin skin was the best canvas.

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