Page 42 of Ryder

“Ryder,” I called out again, that time with more force in my voice. “Look at me.” I drew near while still giving him the space he needed. “Please.”

“Don’t,” he finally responded. “I should’ve snatched his life without a second thought. I should’ve made him pay for what he did.” He shrugged in defeat. “But I didn’t. I’m pathetic. I’m weak,” he muttered.

“No, you’re not. You made a choice. The right one.” When we stood toe-to-toe, my bare feet touching the tips of his boots, I placed my hand on his chest. I could feel his heart ramming against his ribcage. “I think you recognized a difference between the man he was and the man he’d become. He chose his daughter, Ryder. He chose her life over his. He was clearly willing to die to protect someone he loved.”

I couldn’t even begin to understand what he’d gone through, coming face-to-face with the person who stole his mother’s life, and right in front of him when he was just seven years of age. But I was with him now, and I wanted to help him. To do whatever I could to make him see that he wasn’t weak and pathetic. That he was the exact opposite.

He was strong.

He was brave.

He was complicated.

He was unlike any man I’d ever met.

Ryder

Everything came rushing back to me as soon as Braylen told me that I’d mentioned my mother while in the midst of my delirium. Images of holding Richard’s address in my hand for hours as I drove to Oregon. Memories of pushing past his front door before beating him flooded my brain, only to end with the recollection that I’d left him cowering in his house as I walked away, my gun resting in the waistband of my jeans, never having been fired.

I heard her words, but I still couldn’t shake the feeling that I’d been weak in my decision to allow that bastard to live.

Who am I turning into? What is happening to me?

In my heart I knew what Braylen had said was true, and I believed the reason I didn’t shoot Richard in the headwasbecause he’d chosen his daughter over himself, but it didn’t take away the remorse that I hadn’t been able to exact revenge for my mother.

“I need to forget,” I said, tugging Braylen closer. “Help me do it.”

Without warning, I captured her lips, breathing in her warmth like it was the only thing that kept me grounded. Kept me sane. I lifted her up my body, and she wrapped her legs around me, kissing me back with such need that I knew she was exactly who I needed to lose myself in.

“Are you sure?” she asked, pulling back long enough to look deep into my eyes. “I’m here for you, no matter what, but if you’re not up to this, we can just lie together.”

“And what? Cuddle?”

“Whatever you need.”

“I just need you. Naked and spread for me.”

Her hands interlocked behind my neck, but when she tightened her hold, she winced.

“Watch your hand,” I instructed. “I feel bad enough, I don’t want you to make it any worse.”

“I’ll be—”

“Fine?”

“Smartass.” She laughed before giving me a quick kiss. “Now put me down and do with me what you will.” She unhooked her legs from around my waist and slid down my body, every bit of her rubbing against me until she found her footing.

Braylen was wearing a pair of white cotton panties, half of her left ass cheek exposed because I’d had my hands all over her just moments before. A matching cami rode halfway up her belly, exposing her delectable skin. My eyes feasted on her, my hunger increasing the more she looked like she wanted me to devour her.

Jerking my head toward the mattress, she shuffled backward until the backs of her legs hit the edge. Without breaking eye contact, she shimmied her top up and off, tossing the material to the floor. Then she proceeded to lower her panties, the expanse of her creamy flesh driving me insane with the need to claim her. Only when she was completely naked did she lower herself onto the bed, reaching out to pull me close.

Removing my clothes faster than I ever had before, even with all my injuries, I finally covered her body with mine. The heat from our skin mashing together created a fire I prayed would never burn out.

“I need you so much right now,” I proclaimed, nipping her throat while spreading her legs with my hand. “I don’t know if I’ll ever get over what happened, but for now, I wanna forget.” My desperation was apparent, but instead of pushing Braylen away, it only drew her closer. The look in her eyes wasn’t one of pity but of love.

We hadn’t told each other how we felt, and I didn’t think I was ready to do it right then, but this woman meant everything to me.

“Then use me however you want. However you need.” She squirmed beneath me, her hands coming up to tangle in the thick of my hair.

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