Page 40 of Ryder

Stone had a condition called congenital insensitivity to pain.Lucky bastard.And I knew Adelaide. Any mark on her man and she was driven to care for him, make him feel better even though she knew he wasn’t affected by it. I figured it was the nurse in her.

“So what now?” I asked, plopping down on the edge of my bed.

“You take a shower ’cause you still smell like a brewery, grab something to eat and go make sure your woman is okay,” Jagger said so matter-of-factly, as if I would’ve argued with him.

“Sounds good to me.” Normally, before Braylen had come into my life, I would’ve escaped to my house for the better part of a week, ignoring everyone because of the guilt of my freak-out. But everything was different now. Not only did I have to make sure she was okay, I had to make sure she continued to be safe. It was my job, and for once in a very long time I had a purpose, other than my part in the club.

As I washed away the prior evening, all I could think about was how I hoped Braylen had some sort of insight as to what I’d been rambling about. My gut told me she’d be able to clue me in, but maybe that was simply desperation talking.

Braylen

Tossing and turning because I’d hardly gotten any sleep, I was startled when Kena threw open my bedroom door and barged in. Her long dark hair was piled high on top of her head, sticking out in all different directions and making her look like a crazy person.

“My God, woman. You scared me,” I cried out, clutching my chest while being careful of my sore wrist. With everything that’d happened, I knew it could’ve been worse. Never having seen Ryder in such a way truly scared me, but I’d been more worried than frightened. I’d witnessed him drunk before but never violent. His eyes had never been vacant, and I’d never seen him so . . . lost.

Someone is here to see you. He looks pretty desperate, so go easy on him.Kena knew I would shoot first, then ask questions later, so she was right to give me her warning. What she didn’t realize was that I wasn’t angry with Ryder. All of my thoughts were consumed by what had happened to him. Jagger mentioned the guys cuffing him to his bed. Had he fought against the restraint and hurt himself?

My whirlwind thoughts flipped from being worried about the man to realizing that he softened me, so to speak. My temper still existed, my protective side over those I loved still fueling my mouth when need be, but I knew I was changing. Whether or not I embraced it was another story.

Flinging off the covers, I didn’t even have my feet planted on the carpet before Ryder strode into my room. The sight of him made me feel helpless all over again, his flesh torn apart in places and bruised from fighting with his friends, and from whatever happened that had driven him to lose himself to the evils of the amber liquid he poured down his throat.

“What are you doing here?” Surprised he was even standing in front of me, especially after Jagger had indicated that Ryder would probably not want to see me anytime soon due to guilt, I leaned back on the bed, as if the small amount of distance would save me from a plethora of questions and emotions.

He didn’t utter a word as he stalked toward me, reaching me with a few long strides. His hand shot out and wrapped around my waist, hoisting me off the bed and into his arms before I could say anything else. Kena closed the door behind her as she left to give us some privacy.

“Jagger told me what happened to you. I’m so sorry, Bray. Please forgive me.”

The warmth from his body relaxed me, the all-too-familiar scent of him enveloping me until all I wanted to do was exist in his embrace. But I knew we had to have a serious talk, so I prepared myself to be strong enough to accept whatever he chose to reveal.

Pulling back so he could see my face, he said, “I would never intentionally hurt you, you know that, right?” He feared I viewed him as a violent man. In some aspects I knew he was, but never with me. I knew in my heart that he would never physically hurt me.

Emotionally . . . that was yet to be determined. He was a man, after all, and men were stupid when it came to affairs of the heart, especially one who’d never truly given himself to anyone before.

One thing at a time, though.

“I know,” I answered, leaning back into him to try and soothe the both of us. “I know,” I repeated.

A shiver shot through his body, his shoulders twitching before he kissed the top of my head. We stood locked together for countless moments, remaining silent, reveling in the comfort of the other.

The tall, muscular, tough and conflicted man holding me close had so many dimensions, some of which I’d borne witness to and some he guarded with his life, too afraid to let others see. But we were making progress. I believed Ryder was almost ready to let me all the way in, his being there with me a sign he truly cared.

Finally separating, he guided me back to the edge of the bed, sitting beside me and reaching for my hands. I winced when he touched my right wrist.

“Let me see.”

I pulled my arm back because I didn’t want him to focus on the fact that I’d hurt myself, not badly, but he’d see it as a failure on his part, as if he was completely to blame for what happened to me.

He was and he wasn’t. I chose to approach him while I knew he wasn’t in his right mind. I thought I could get through to him, but he’d been too far gone to truly see me. Besides, it wasn’t like he ran at me and knocked me on my ass. I knew it was an accident. I just had to make sure he never allowed himself to get into such a state ever again.

“I’m fine.”

“Again with that word.” A half smile graced his mouth before his expression fell back into a serious one. “I wanna see your wrist.” He held out his palm and patiently waited for me to place my hand in his. Finally, I gave in. The sooner he inspected me, the sooner we could move on.

Gently handling me, he turned my wrist from side to side, feeling all around by gingerly pressing the pads of his fingers along the area. “There’s some minor swelling, but I don’t think you broke anything. You really should have this wrapped. Do you have any bandages?”

“In the cupboard, under the sink in the bathroom,” I replied, pointing toward the hallway. He rose from the bed, and right before he left, he turned back to look at me. He opened his mouth to speak but no words came out. Thinking better of whatever he was going to say, he clamped his lips shut before disappearing, only to reenter my room two minutes later.

“You have a lot of crap under the sink.” The mattress dipped as he sat back down next to me.

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