Page 53 of Shattered

“Jesus Christ!” I exclaimed.“You scared the shit out of me.”Running a towel over me to clean up, I asked, “What are you doing awake?”How long was she standing there?

“I was on my way to the bathroom when I heard you talking to someone.”She walked further into the living room.“Who were you talking to?”

Without hesitation, I answered, “Kael.I wanted to let him know I wasn’t upset with him.”

“At five in the morning?He might be the one who’s upset with you now.” She snickered.

Maybe she didn’t hear as much as I thought.

“Yeah, well, it was the least I could do.”Turning back around, I reached for a fresh cup.As I was closing the cabinet door, she asked me a question I knew was going to upset the morning.

“What else happened between you and Cora?”I heard her move even closer, awareness heavily pulsating through me.“I couldn’t help but overhear you.Why do you hate her so much?If you never truly loved her, why would you still be upset over her cheating on you?”The tone in her voice dipped.She thinks I might still have feelings for that awful woman.

Is there a way to assure her instead of revealing what really happened?Should I try to avoid the subject all together?

Avoidance.Yeah, I’ll go with that.

“Don’t, Sara.I don’t want to talk about her anymore.Please.”

“Alek, you have to be honest with me about everything if this is going to work,” she replied, gesturing back and forth between us.“You should be able to tell me anything, no matter if it’s unpleasant for either one of us.I want you to trust me enough to want to confide in me.”

I walked toward her, trying to bridge the undercurrent of separation which was slowing starting to form.“It’s not that I don’t trust you or can’t confide in you, because I can.I just don’t want to taint what we have by talking abouther.She’s in my past, and it’s where I want her to remain.Please, don’t push this.”

She looked away before she asked, “Do you still love her?Please, tell me the truth.”

Coaxing her chin up so she could see how serious I was, I answered honestly.“No.The only feeling I have toward her is hate.”I tried not to give in to my anger, but it spewed forth quicker than I could even think to stop it.

Sara looked confused, and I didn’t blame her.“Then why do you hate her so much?”

“I don’t want to talk about it.”

“Alek, talk to me.Tell me what she could have done beyond cheating that was so awful you have such disdain in your voice when you speak of her.I don’t want you to keep things from me.If you don’t want me pulling back from you, then you need to be honest with me, about everything.I don’t want to feel as if you’re hiding things from me.”

What the hell?She kept going and going, each word hitting me with such brutal force.

Finally, I snapped.I tried not to, but I couldn’t help it.The memories of that day came back at me full-force.Mixed with Sara pushing me, I let go of my reserve and broke apart.I grabbed her arms and pulled her close, the look of anger on my face taking her by sheer surprise.“Fuck, Sara!You want to know what she did?” I yelled.

“Yes,” she whispered, so low I almost didn’t hear her.I wasn’t physically hurting her, but I could tell I was doing some kind of damage to her emotionally.But I pushed all cares aside in order to tell her what she goaded me into.

“That heartless bitch killed my child!” I shouted.As soon as the words left my mouth, I released her from my grasp, turning around so I didn’t have to see her reaction.

“I don’t understand.”

I whipped back around to stare at her.“What is there to understand?I broke it off with her after I caught her cheating on me, and she killed my unborn child for revenge.”

The words alone brought the memory back in full-force. I shuddered at the thought of having to relive those moments.

“But if she cheated on you, how did you know the child was yours?”

Out of all of the questions to come flying from her mouth, I didn’t expect her to ask me that one.Although, it was the same question I asked myself when I’d first found out, so I shouldn’t have been surprised by her curiosity.

“Once I found out she was unfaithful, she blurted out she was three months along.And since I thought the same thing about the paternity, we had a DNA test done.It came back I was, in fact, the father.I told her I would fully take care of my child, but the relationship between her and me was over, for good.She couldn’t deal with it, and the following week she had an abortion.”

“Oh, my God, Alek.I’m so sorry.I never would’ve thought…” She trailed off before finishing her sentence.

My anger picked up a new wave of irritation.“You justhadto push and push until you got what you wanted.Are you happy now?”I paced in front of her, pulling at the strands of my hair, not quite knowing what to do with myself.

“Am I happy she did that to you?Of course not.Her actions were horrific.But am I happy you told me?Yes.I’m not sorry about that.”There was a resolve to her tone I would have normally been proud of, had my anger not overshadowed it.

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