Page 70 of In Love with the Devil

He chuckles. “No, I’m not. I started taking online Spanish classes when I met you.” He shrugs as if that’s the most logical thing in the world.

The rest of the day, although unforgettable, is a blur because I’m in shock and not processing everything that’s happening right in front of me. We sit on the rocking chairs on the porch drinking lemonade, watching the sunset, while music plays from inside. He prepares lunch, then dinner, and then we watchThe Force AwakensandThe Rise of Skywalker,where Kylo Ren falls in love with his captive and in the end… saves her life.

Sigh…

Chapter thirty-two

Yellow

Astoria

One month later

I’m sitting at the foot of the toilet, vomiting. Julian combs his hair, staring into the mirror above the sink, getting ready for work. He got his wish. I’m still pregnant. I’ve been vomiting for an entire week and have had very little sleep. I’ve lost more than ten pounds. Only when he connects me to an IV can I sleep in peace. I hate my life, I hate him, but more than anything, I hate myself, especially my body.

This poor baby. What will I do?

I've started showing, and he smiles every time he catches me caressing the belly. I thought everything he did that day when we listened to the heartbeat for the first time was all just anothertrick, but he has maintained the nice facade. He provides all three meals, always puts a bottle of water within my reach, and takes me outside every day. He leaves home an hour earlier so that the sun is still out when he returns for our walk since summer is ending.We watch shows and movies together like a real couple, and he buys me books so that I have something to do while he's at work.

I will not lie. Some nights are pure hell, he wakes up and rapes me. I’m used to it now. It’s when he insists I suck his dick all night long that I can’t take. At least this week, with all the morning sickness, he hasn't touched me, not like that.

I flush the toilet, doubting it's over. “I feel like it’s getting worse, Julian. I need a doctor.”

He places the comb on the sink and kneels in front of me, cupping my cheeks.“Women gave birth to children for thousands of years without doctors. Besides, you know I have the knowledge to take care of you. You’re fine. I know it sucks, but this is natural. It’s even a sign of a healthy baby.”

I devolve into sobbing, feeling so weak and like such a mess, but I can’t stand that I’m going to be alone for the next eight hours. “Please stay. Don’t leave me alone like this. I’m scared, Julian. Please!”

“Oh, my sweet girl. I miss you too, but if I miss work now, how am I going to help you after you give birth?”

“Please, Julian. Just for today."

“I’ll bring you some cake from downstairs. That will help settle that little runt in there. Okay?” He smiles and leaves.

Six Months Pregnant

It’s the middle of the night and I’m exhausted. The baby moves too much, allowing me little rest. Just when I doze off, Julian’s mouth covers my sore breast. I whimper, my hands pushing him with minimal pressure, but he takes my wrists with an amount of force he hasn’t used on me for many months and pins them to the bed. The sucking sends excruciating electrical pain into my breast, stealing my voice and breath. He knew my tits were sore because I’d asked him if he knew if there was anything I could do. It’s not like I can look it up because he still doesn’t trust me with anything that would allow me to contact anyone.

“Julian. That hurts. Please… stop.”

His fingers flick at my clit. The pleasure spreads at lightning speed. I’m used to it now. It’s my role with him. It’s not like I could ever escape him, not now with this huge belly, certainly not now that I’m pregnant with his child, so I’ve accepted that he will take me whenever he wants. My needs and desires have no meaning.

“Julian,” I call in a frenzy, my chest rising and falling, my heart attempting to run out of my chest. The rush from the climax clouds my thoughts, and euphoria calms all my fears and anxieties. It’s so easy now. He can even make me come on command. Julian says it’s because of the hormones.He stopssucking and stares at me under the light of a bright full moon. Our eyes search each other.

“What?” I ask.

“It’s past midnight,” he responds and the smile spreading on his face changes the hammering of my heart to the beat of fear instead of pleasure.

“Oh?” My eyebrows scrunch up, wondering what he's referring to.

“It’s our anniversary, baby. One year to the day you came here to live with me,” he says it as if I ran away from home to be with him–as if this were the happily ever after part of a fairy tale. My heart sinks. Whatever hint of a smile I had on my face is gone. I try to fake one but I can’t. He releases my wrists and pushes my hair behind my ears.My blood runs cold and I swallow deep at the happiness he's displaying. What will he do to me now? “Happy anniversary. I took the day off.”

I sit up, nauseous, trying to resist with every fiber of my being to run out of this room yet staring at the wide-open door.

“Are you okay?” He follows me, sitting right next to me.

“Uh. Yeah. I’m fine. I just need a minute to catch my breath.”

One year. How am I even sane? Maybe I’m not.

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