Page 64 of In Love with the Devil

A throbbing, hot pain slowly wakes me. I moan from it. "Julian," I whisper wondering what's happening. Then it all comes back to me. I killed him but now I'm going to die right here, alone.

There's a canopy of trees filtering the night sky. Some tiny stars flicker in between leaves and thick gray clouds. The forest is to my right and the empty grass field is to my left. The house in the distant is a small shadow. A breeze rakes through the field and shakes the trees. There's that longwooshsound. The tremble pulls a scream out of me that echoes in the forest when the pain shoots through me again because I dared to move.

"He-help me! Somebody help me!" I scream again and again and again despite the hell that's my leg, despite the wind picking up and drowning out my voice. Like every single other day in my stupid life, no one is coming to rescue me.There must be a way out of this.Slowly, I sit up, and grind my teeth at the pain as I lean forward, trying to get a hold of this thing. As I expected, no matter how much I pull it apart, nothing happens. This time I gather all my strength. Come on. I pull with all my might but the only thing I accomplish is moving my leg and therebyintensifying the excruciating pain. I try to catch my breath and suddenly hear a not too distant car driving by.

"A–h! Help! Help me!" My screeches echo through the trees again.

Nothing. I lie back on the dirt. The chilly night draws another shiver from me and then fat drops of water whip at my skin. I'm shaking violently as my warm tears form new trails mix with rain on my temples. The dirt quickly becomes mud and then a puddle forms beneath me. The wind keeps thrown leaves, and dirt at me. I don't want to die. I don't want this to be the last time I see them.Please God! Please!

"Someone please help me," I sob. "Please." I cry until I'm too exhausted to keep my eyes open. The last thing I see are the dancing tree branches above me looking so beautiful.

A sound startles me awake, drawing my gasp from the subtle movement and the anguish that follows. There's a shadow walking toward me. The rain is not as violent before but the wind won't cease making me shiver.

I hear Julian's laughter. Of course he'd laugh at my state after what I did to him. "No…" I only have the energy to whisper. He can't be here. I killed him. "I didn't want to." The pain in my heart almost equals that of my leg. "Julian," I sob. "I'm sorr–"

A flashlight clicks on, blinding me, then slides down my body. "Oh fuck." I hear the concern when he rushes and throws himself on the ground, kneeling by my feet.

"God fucking dammit, Astoria," he cusses through his teeth while trying to open it and failing. There's a relief from the pressure on my leg but it comes back stronger. It's as if I got caught in it again. I scream, gasp, and blackout.

For minutes at a time, I wake in his arms as he walks back to the house. My leg hurts even more now that it's free and every step he takes reverberates the pain through me. Every breeze caresses my raw wound, deep inside. It draws my sobbing but that only worsens it. I grimace and bite my lips.

"Almost there, pretty bird, then I'll see how bad it is."

He must've been searching for me while it was raining hard because his shirt, skin, and hair are soaked. I stare at his bandaged neck, but when he takes a deeper step I can't help gasp at the pain. I have to keep it all in to not risk moving more. My gaze swerves and catching sight of the sky.

I try hiding from the pain in the colors up above in between the clouds. Like the last morning, half the sky is dark and the other full of different shades of orange, yellow, and pink. I remember reading how pink is not a real color, just an illusion to acertain blend of colors. "Lambda equals the speed of light over frequency," I repeat in whispers every time there's a new bounce to his step. Sometimes I can't help it, I have to moan or whimper, but swallow my sobs.

Chapter twenty-nine

Feral

Julian

As soon as I lay her on our bed, her screech bounces against the walls. Thank God I kept some IV's after I operated on her. I give her a strong narcotic, and an antibiotic, then go to inspect and disinfect the wound. It doesn't take long to see that although deep, the damage is not permanent. It didn't cut all the way through her femur. But, there's no denying the agony. She has cuts on her feet. I undress and dry her, then cover her with my thick comforter so she will stop shivering. As the hours pass, she keeps repeating the same numbers, moaning from the pain, or having nightmares.

The adrenaline rush doesn't allow me to sleep. First, I had to stop my own bleeding, disinfect and sew myself up, then I search for her in the middle of a storm until past midnight. I hoped I'd find her in the barn, trying to steal the car. She didn't know I'd prepare for her attempt to escape, that I'd made it so that the car always had to have two wires crossed to get started. At first, Ithought she'd fallen. It was denial, really. I should've warned her earlier when she first tried to run but I got caught in our game.

It took me hours to open that thing.

I didn't think she'd ever dare. Once again I've misjudged my pretty bird, underestimated her. She begged me not to take her down there and I didn't listen. I blame myself for not noticing I'd pushed her way too much. But she lures my darkness so much. I can hardly control myself with her. Destroying her is too delicious.

Astoria finally showed me she's a fighter. I'm so fucking proud of her.

Standing by the foot of our bed, I take in the beauty of her, sweat, dirt and blood all over her and her hair a mess. She looks like the feral animal she is, spectacular.

I wish she'd escaped. If I would've allowed her to think I was dead and then shown up in the middle of some random night... the terror on her face… I snicker at the imagery. It would've been so much fun. Instead, here I am, worried about her.

My pretty bird is amazing, so brave, strong. She's too sweet for her own good but push her enough and she becomes a gorgeous, raging bitch. She keeps surprising me. Today she gained my respect.

"Mommy, please take me with you. Don't leave me. Please, Mommy. I'll be good." Her sobbing wakes me and then I hear her words. I turn and touch her arm to find it burning and covered in sweat.

"Oh no. Not this."

"Five-hundred and seventy to five-hundred ninety nanometers. Five-hundred eighty to six-hundred twenty nanometer." The numbers tremble out of her.

"Hold on, pretty bird. It's time for your next dose." I add it to her IV then cover her forehead with a wet rag.

"Lambda equals the speed of light over frequency…" She's been repeating the same equation followed by the same numbers since I freed her from that thing. I write them down and later, when her fever has calmed, look them up. Astoria is whispering the wavelength of yellow and orange.

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