Page 29 of In Love with the Devil

Why am I allowing him to do all this to me? I didn’t expect he'd be so cruel. It was too much. Even though I came so many times, the cruelty, depravation, and violence was too much.

Then in the end, I thanked him for it.The self-disgust and shame overwhelm me.But he won’t leave me alone.There’s nowhere for me to go, no one for me to talk to, and I’m too scared to call the cops. Cases like this don’t usually get attention anyway, and I don’t want to put anyone in danger. Even if I find another place to live, I know a man like him will eventually find me.

The bile rises, and despite the pain, I rush out of bed to the bathroom, where I vomit into the toilet. The retching drains all the energy I managed to gather in the little sleep I got. My phone vibrates, but I don’t attempt to move. After some time, I get up, brush my teeth, practically fall into my bed, and hug the pillow. Too many thoughts crowd my mind, and all I want to do is sleep and forget everything.

Why is Julian so cruel? Who is he? How is it that my body can enjoy something so disgusting when it’s tearing my mind apart? Why can’t anyone, anyone on this planet, love me?

I feel like he broke something in me both physically and emotionally. I'm crying, Jesus. I need sleep, deep sleep.The only thing that calms me is picturing those blue eyes. Dr. Michaelson. Why do they look at me as if they care but then reject me? Hell, he even kissed me. I caress my lips with my fingertips but know that it’s Julian’s come that was last on them.

By the time I wake up again, I have a headache and I’m starving. The sun is setting outside. I eat some yogurt, shower, then turn on the TV, but it doesn’t take long before my eyelids become heavy and I doze off.

A subtle prick on my neck slightly wakes me but I can't open my eyes. Arms slip under me, making my body bob up and down. I'm being carried but I can't move my hands, arms, legs...

“Julian. I’m not feeling well.” It’s true. The world is swirling around me. I feel as if I'm being carried by a wave. “Help… me… please,” I mumble. Even with how terrified I am of this man,my body still cannot gather enough adrenaline so that I can fully wake and open my eyes.

The sturdiness of the mattress beneath me feels good under my muscles. He’s moving me but I don’t understand what’s happening. When I try to move myself, nothing happens. My breathing runs away from me at the confirmation that I'm paralyzed.

“Shh.. It's me, pretty bird. I brought you a gift,” he whispers in his rough, deep voice.

No… What’s going on? Julian…The words are lost in my uncontrolled breathing.I can't talk.

His lips caress my cheek then plant small kisses on it. "Astoria… I can't get you out of my mind." The gentleness is such a contrast from the previous night. Am I dreaming? I moan at the first feel of his hot mouth taking my breast and sucking on it again and again. Another moan rolls out of me when he flicks my clit with his fingers.

“You want it, pretty bird? You love it when I force myself on you. I can tell.”

“Jul–” I can’t form whole words. My head falls to the side as he manipulates my body to his will.

What's wrong with me?I scream it in my mind.

“Oh, you feel so fucking good, baby. So wet and ready for me. I’m gonna fill that pussy with my come. Don’t you worry.”

“No…” I manage to cry as his dick plunges into me. It’s so thick and long. All I feel is immense pain, no pleasure. For a few seconds, I raise my hands to push him away, but I have no strength. There’s absolutely nothing I can do. Being trapped in this sleep spell feels as if I'm buried alive. I can’t keep my breathing under control. It keeps speeding but at the same time, I’m choking.

“Shh.. Relax. You're being such a good girl." As he thrusts into me, I can only moan or whimper.

"You’re so perfect for me. You take it every time."

No, I’m not perfect for you. What do you mean I take it?I want to scream at him. His breathing gets heavier, and his voice grows deeper with the pleasure he's gaining from using my body. "Just like that, pretty bird, keep tightening for me.”

I wince and moan as he slams into me faster while panting into my ear. “Fuck, pretty bird... That's it… Such a delicious, tight cunt…”

Although I’m wet, it’s not enough. The rubbing of his dick on my sore walls hurts too much. I sob, feeling the tears wetting my temples. Hot pain spreads on my pelvic muscles. Every thrust is torture. As he fucks me, he sucks at my left breast hard, sometimes biting and dragging his teeth. It’s as if I’m being raped by an animal, and I have no choice but to just lie here taking it like a rag doll.

“I can’t wait to fuck your ass. I'm trying to be patient but you rule my mind day and night.”

Sleep takes all of me from this. I can’t hear or feel anything. Am I dying?

It’s the orgasm and my own scream that wakes me this time. He’s fucking me from behind and stroking my clit from underneath.

“God, you’re such a good little whore. You come so hard every time. You love all of it. I’ve met no one like you, Astoria."

I whimper in horror at his words and at how hard I’m coming while he rams his dick into my drenched pussy.

"Such a good dirty slut. This is what makes you so perfect for me. This is what you were born for, for me to fuck again and again. I’ll never let you go.”

My body convulses under him and he lifts himself. At first, I think he’s stopping because he's concerned. Instead, he parts my butt cheeks, spits on the valley between them, then fills my asshole with two fingers. I gasp and whine, unable to remember what I said seconds before.

“I love your pretty, little, tight hole. I can tell you’re a virgin." The double penetration numbs the pain away and spreads pleasure all over me like a wild fire. "Hmm… So tight. I can feel my dick fucking you, baby. That’s it, sing for me, pretty bird. Scream for more.”

---