Page 25 of In Love with the Devil

“It’s just… sometimes… I like to test the limits. I just–”

“Astoria, you don’t have to explain yourself to me. It wasn’t your fault, like you said. You were just having fun. Even if you grabbed his dick out of his pants and promised to marry him, there’s no justification for his behavior. Why couldn’t he get over one flirtatious girl he met two hours ago and just move on to the next, like every other single guy there?”When I turn my gaze to her, I see her mouth gaping with surprise.

“You remember my name. Y-you were watching me.” Happiness slowly fills her expression..

Fuck! This is not what I wanted.“Is that why you were dancing like that, because you knew I was watching?” I answer her whisper with one of my own.

She nods slowly. A little mischievous smile sneaks out from the corner of her lips.Oh… you are going to get the biggest spanking of your life, Astoria.

“I could feel your eyes on me.” Her soft, slow blink awakens my dick.

I look at her lips, which haven’t had any lipstick on them for an hour, and I take them into mine. It’s a fast, hard kiss with bitesand the unabashed dancing of our tongues. She adjusts herself on the seat trying to get closer to me. I wrap my palm around her nape, pulling her toward me.

My lips. My tongue. All mine.

My fingers rake through her heavenly silky hair. I’m not sure how long it lasts, but when she starts panting and whimpering, I lose it. When I cup her breast, the unending kiss muffles her scream. She’s so sensitive there. Her moans increase in frequency the more I caress and kiss her. I break it off. We stare at each other while catching our breath.

“This can’t be.” I shake my head, at a loss for what’s happening, and what to do about it. She really is attracted to me. She really wants me. It’s all so confusing to me. Can she not see, even in her subconscious, that I’m not the man she wants me to be?

“C-can’t be? Why not? I can get another doctor.” It takes everything for me not to laugh at her little revolution against society’s bullshit. I love it. She wants me and she will not let anything stand in her way, except me.

I start driving. “What’s your address?”

Her disappointment sweeps out with her long, heavy breath and after some silence, she tells me her address. We don’t speak another word until I park in front of her house.

“Thanks for the ride.” She unlocks the seat belt and opens the door.

“Astoria,” I call from my seat.

“Yes?” The tip of her tongue sweeps between her lips.

“Drink a lot of water.” As I watch the pain from my rejection spread on her face, the words blurt out of me. “I’m sorry.”

“No. I’m sorry I made you uncomfortable. It won’t happen again. I promise.”

If only she knew how much I want her, but not the way she’d welcome it. I want to force myself on her until she has no choice but to crave it. I want her to love the real me enough to give up everything, her body, her life, her dignity, her sanity. All of it.

I’m not some pretty, rich boy who comes to save her from rapists. I’m not the fucking hero. I’m her biggest nightmare.Iam her rapist and that’s who I want her to be in love with. I want her to be a slave for me to use and abuse in every way possible.

In the parking lot of a convenience store about five blocks away from her place, I change into my black jeans and T-shirt, and think to myself that I need another car for when I visit her in the middle of the night. I’ll get one for next time. When I get to her house, the door is unlocked. I suck my teeth and roll my eyes. Again with this? At least the back door is closed this time.

When it dawns on me, my rage flares. Maybe she left the door open for the prince charming she thought she was kissing in the car, for the hero she yearns so much. Unfuckingbelievable. It's the first time I test her, and she failed miserably. I could snap her neck right now.

Chapter ten

Mine

Astoria

I don't look back as I walk into my house. What the hell is wrong with men? I dance my head off, teasing him, then kiss him until I feel my soul leave me and he still rejects me? The anger is good because it numbs the pain, the hopelessness.

Inside, I go straight into the shower, wanting to wash the sweat off my body and burn away every memory of this night. But as soon as the steaming water wets my skin, the only thing that evaporates is my anger, leaving me with everything else. Truth is, I don’t know what I was thinking. He’s a doctor who obviously comes from a higher class than I do. He looks and dresses like a god. Why I would think he’d want me is a mystery. But it still stings, more than the usual rejection. Why?

God, that kiss. I’ve never been kissed like that. I would've fucked him in the car. The long hot shower almost numbs my embarrassment and destroyed ego. It’s only toward the end thatI realize that it is not his rejection that saddens me. I’m sad because I’m tired of being so alone and only attracting sick assholes. The last few weeks with Julian stalking and controlling me then disappearing, leaving me constantly expecting him to pop out of nowhere haven’t helped. I have no one to help me out of his sticky, dark cobweb, no one to protect me from him. The fact that I come every time he does all these things to me… I hate it. I hate him but more than anything, I hate myself.

By the time I get out, I’m dizzy and barely keeping myself from toppling. I need to lie down. In the past when I’d get like this after a hot shower, Mom would tell me it was because my blood pressure dropped. I’m almost at the bed when I feel a hard push on my shoulder blade. It winds me and I fall onto the mattress face down.

After that rejection, I don’t care what Julian does to me tonight. In fact, I crave horrible punishment for my idiocy with Dr. Michaelson. I must have looked pathetic and desperate.That’s why I left the door open. Julian has made it clear that doors can’t keep him away, anyway. Maybe he can spank out my craving for Dr. Michaelson. I don’t deserve him. I deserve this, a sicko, hurting me.

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