Page 13 of In Love with the Devil

“Figure I’d let him beg for a day or two.” She chuckles as I walk her to the door.

“You’re so much better at this dating thing than I am, so you get no arguments from me.”

“Practice makes perfect.” She winks at me and we smile.

“As you’ve told me a million times,” I nod.

“Alright, see you next week.” We hug at the door. “Take care.” I watch her from the doorway as she walks to her car, and drives away.

Chapter five

My New Addiction

Julian

Saturday Night

As I step away from her bed, then her room, then the house, putting more space between us, I miss her to such an extreme that it physically hurts. I don’t want to leave her there. I want to take her to her actual home, my basement, where she belongs.

What’s happened to me?

Logic tells me this can never happen again, especially with her, but my heart grows heavy, cold, and lonely. Being the way I am means I have no one I can be myself with. Everything I do, everything I say, it’s all a facade. Wearing this mask twenty-four seven, is suffocating me. I need some sort of an outlet. With her, I was more myself than I’ll ever dare to be again.

When I swear to myself that I’ll leave her alone, I’m convinced my heart is going to freeze into an icicle and shatter. But I know I just need to man up and move on.“What the fuck?” I ask the tear that I wipe from my cheekbone as I accelerate after a red light.

The only thing that numbs the pain as I drive the hour-long journey to my home is the fresh memory of the way she moved, her whining and begging for me to stop. I’m willingly drunk on her. I can still smell her pussy on my breath and body, making me never want to shower or brush my teeth again. The scent of her hardens my dick until it's excruciatingly throbbing. But I need to forget and set her free from me. I should’ve never scheduled the next appointment. What was I thinking?

I wasn’t, obviously.Shedidn’t let me think.

Now I’m her first, even if she doesn’t remember it. Anyone can take a girl’s virginity but making her come while raping her? That’s the truly special part. God, if I could hear her say my name just one more time with that besieging tone full of anguish, and that breathy voice. What would I not give? I’d give my life.

In my basement, I lie on the dingy bed in one of the cells, imagining her in the pitch black darkness, terrified. The memory of her calling my name forces me to jack off while taking in the smell of her panties. I try to hold my cock with the same tightness as her lovely pussy so that I can come just as hard but end up disappointed. Before falling asleep, I swear to myself and to the universe, that I’ll stay away from her. But she’s like a fever that won’t break; in my dreams, I fuck her again. I can even feel her, hear the way she moans when I fill that tight, sweet pussy with my come. Then she wakes up with those crying, terrified,brown eyes, screaming, fighting me with all her strength but failing miserably.

It’s not even sunrise when I wake up with a hard on that no jerking can remedy. I’m not sure if it’s the long cold shower, the promise I made to myself, or both that calms my hunger for her. Still, even with the promise to stay away, I tell myself I’ll install cameras in her house tonight just to keep her safe from everyone else. I spend the day looking up every bit of information about her, memorizing her medical history, and finding her socials. Astoria is an only child and, unlike what I assumed, she grew up in poverty with a single mother. Strength and determination define my sweet little bird.

She crawled out of the ghetto and now stays in her friend’s lovely home. Not as stupid as I first thought her to be. She must be saving quite the buck by not paying rent in this city. I scroll down her socials enough to meet Emmanuel. He had a new girlfriend the same day Astoria announced their break up. It was three years ago. Good, she didn't lie to me about that. Meanwhile, Emmanuel still appears quite content with the toothpick on crack. I can’t find Astoria’s previous boyfriend, Jeremy.

When I break into her house again, I smile at the beautiful sight of the two of them sleeping together so comfortably. Now I remember who Mindy is. She’s the kind of attractive woman that most men fall for. She ticks all the boxes, physically.

Astoria is not exactly like that. First, her timidness and naiveness attracts men like myself; predators. It’s like blood to a shark, because it gives the impression that she has no self-esteem. She’s halfway to being completely broken so we canrebuild her how we want. She doesn’t even try dressing sexy, more on the unnoticeable, nerdy bookworm side of fashion.

Despite her attempt at hiding her curves, my little bird’s beauty oozes through the bad fashion choices. If she would dress the part, like her friend, her beauty would be the kind that intimidates most men. They’d always think they’re not worthy, then resent her for taking them if she dared. I can tell it’s what happened to Emmanuel. She could never win. Finding the right guy would be like winning the lottery. But no worries, prettiest of birds, that’s where I come in.

A craving to see them touch each other rises in me, but I do not disturb them. Like a gentleman, as soon as I install the tiny cameras throughout the house, synchronize my burner phone to hers, and download everything from her laptop, I leave, not wanting to risk having to take them both with me.

It helps. For the next two weeks, recording her at home keeps me from pursuing her. My beautiful little bird is such a good girl. Despite all the dancing and drinking, she doesn’t date. There’s no sexting. She’s completely focused on doing better at work. I don’t like the emails that her boss sends her.

I dress and act like a janitor and come into her job late one day, hide in a closet as everyone leaves. At the front desk, I find out where her work station is, place a camera in the room full of cubicles, and another by her desk, then connect to her work computer. After every patient I rush to my office to watch Astoria bite her lip all day long while typing numbers at work that make absolutely no sense to me is humanity's salvation. I wish I could say it feels like she is right there next to me but it doesn't, she's too far.

That's when I find out that her boss is not only rude via email, but he also talks to her as if she were trash in person. Sometimes he pushes her to the brink of tears. Asshole. I hope she considers taking a different job soon or I’ll have to do something about it. Her mother calls her every day to make her feel guilty about something–the sky being blue, the dying cheetah population–take your pick. My lovely Astoria always responds like the most considerate daughter on the planet.

I wonder if there’s anger underneath that perfect doormat front. There must be, but it doesn’t even show up in her journal entries, not toward her mother. In reading further back, I get more of a sense of how devastated she was about losing her virginity to Jeremy. Losing is the correct term, because he stole it, and not in a nice way. Yes. As soon as I find him, he’s dead.

I’ve never killed before, but the thought of killing him helps me stay away from her, so I plan it. It’s not what society would approve of, but society approves of a lot of fucked up things so it can go fuck itself.

Chapter six

Be a Good Girl

---