Page 10 of In Love with the Devil

“Tory, why are you doing this to me? You should have moved back home after college. That way, you could help me with the bills. That was the plan–”

“Mom. I’m so sorry, but I’m not feeling well. Can I call you later?”

“Are you pregnant? Abortions send you straight to hell, Astoria. I hope you’re not whoring around–” I wait for it because she always has to spew her poison. Finally, there it is–she completes the sentence by asking, “Again?”

No matter how much I try to shield myself from her hurtful words, they always affect me. I swallow the pain. This is why I never told her about Jeremy and Emmanuel, because I could never talk to her about anything. Hell, I had to learn about my menstrual cycle from Mindy’s mom because I was too afraid to approach my own mother about it. For a year, I hid my period from her, scared of how she'd respond. She always assumed the worst with me. It kills me that she can’t be more affectionate and open.

“Of course not, Mom. I have to go. Love you. Bye.” I hang up before she answers as my eyes are drawn to the nightstand. I can’t stop staring at it because there are two pills and a glass of water that I’m almost certain I didn’t put there.Did I not take the aspirin? I am so confused.

My dreams were too vivid and now I can’t separate them from reality. Isn’t that the definition of going crazy? I mean, if I forgot the aspirin after all, that explains why the pain lasted so long and why every muscle around my pussy is so sore.

Only after I return from the shower with my robe on do I notice that all the curtains in my bedroom are drawn. Slowly, with my heart slamming, I walk through the rest of the house and find all the rooms on the first floor have their curtains closed too, but there’s no one there.What the hell?

Then, I find both of the doors locked. I thought I’d left at least the front open. The memory isn’t clear. My breathing goes off kilter, but I calm myself. There used to be a time, when my father still lived with us, that I would walk and talk in my sleep. Perhaps that’s what happened last night. I nod to myself. That must be it. Once the adrenaline crashes, I can’t help but feel exhausted and throw myself back on my bed. Thank God it’s Saturday.

By the time I wake up again, the sun is setting.I’ve slept almost twenty-four hours? Really?My phone has a bunch of text messages from Mindy.

Mindy:Where are you? (five hours ago)

Mindy:Why are you not responding? (four and a half hours ago)

Mindy:Are you okay? (three hours ago)

Astoria:I’m okay. Sorry, I got kind of sick yesterday and needed a lot of sleep. What are you up to? I’m starving.

Mindy:Be there in ten. Let’s go to Rocky’s and widen our hips by eating some burgers.

Astoria:You’re the bestest friend I’ve ever had.

Mindy:I’m the only friend you’ve ever had. LOL!

In The Car

“So, what happened yesterday? Why did you get sick?”asks Mindy while driving and occasionally turning her face to look at me.

“Not sure. I had the most horrible day at work, then I went to the OBGYN you recommended.”

“I mean, it’s never fun. Right?” She shrugs.

“Absolutely, but it was…” I want to tell Mindy I let the doctor examine me without supervision, but the words don’t come outof my mouth because I’m scared she’ll judge me. Hell, I’m scared she’ll judge me for my little crush.

“What?” Mindy’s gaze slides from the road to me and back and a smile spreads on her lips before she fakes a gasp. “You liked him!”

“No.”I respond loudly but my cheeks burn. I liked him way too much.

“Yes.”

“No. No–”

“Yes, yes. Yes, you did. Astoria, that is so not okay.” She laughs at me.

Her last sentence puts the nail on the coffin. I will not tell her how beautiful he was, how amazing I felt with his fingers sliding in and out of me. I tighten my insides at the thought only to feel a painful soreness. “Stop.” I raise my voice and she giggles, teasing me. “Okay, heis…a little cute," I admit.

“I knew it!” She laughs and hits the steering wheel a few times while I cover my burning face with both hands. “I knew it. He’ssoyour type.”

“My type? What are you talking about?”

“Oh, come on, Astoria. Both Emmanuel and Jeremy. Black hair, blue eyes, nerdy, and tall as hell.”

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