Page 78 of Ruthless God

She glances out the window at the pitch-black sky. This is what I love about this place, it feels secluded and peaceful.

Snow bought this land so we could be away from people, which I don’t mind. He wanted to move to New York City and be close to one of the locations owned by the Billionaire Club, but I’m not one for the city life. It’s too loud, with too many people.

“What do you mean?”

She frowns. “I never told you about my childhood and what it was like for me.”

“You grew up in a wealthy home. Nana and Papa love you so much.”

She shakes her head. “No, I grew up poor, jumping from home to home. My birth parents traded me in for drugs. I was in foster care up until I was thirteen years old, then your nana and papa adopted me. My parents aren’t your real grandparents.” She removes her house slippers from her pedicured feet and crosses her legs. “I met your father my freshman year of North Haven University, and he was in an arranged marriage with someone else. So, he told his father that he didn’t want the woman he was engaged to and convinced him to approve of us being together. His parents didn’t like me, especially your nana, but they came around.”

I knew Nana and my mother butted heads a few times. When we used to go over there for holidays, the tension would be so thick, I could have cut it with a knife. My nana said mean things to my mother, and my mother would ignore her.

“Your father wanted the trailer trash girl and not the rich girl whose parents had a billion-dollar empire. I had to prove I wasgood enough to be here. I guess I was making sure you were taken care of like I was. I had dreams too, Lyrical.”

This is the first time my mother has actually opened up to me about her past.

“What were they?”

“I wanted to be a defense lawyer, but your dad’s father gave me an ultimatum: give up my dreams and follow the traditions of the Billionaire Club or leave his son alone. I chose your father. I will always choose your father. Your grandfather helped my adoptive parents become billionaires too.” She sighs. “I grew up poor and as a nobody, and no one loved me until your father came along.”

I bring my mother into a hug. I had no idea the life she had to live through. I had no idea she had a rough childhood. It’s a shock that my mother’s parents aren’t my biological grandparents.

“I don’t understand why you would keep that from me.”

“Because I wanted to forget about my past so quickly. It’s a part of me that I’m ashamed of. They gave me a lot of hell because of my background, and for a while, it ate away at my self-esteem to the point that I wanted to hide it from you. I wanted to protect you because I didn’t want you to look at me as a failure. I didn’t want you to look at me as less than. I want to give you the life I never had. I wanted you to fit in, because I know what this lifestyle entails. It can be corrupt, and I wanted to make sure you are taken care of. I didn’t support your career because it wasn’t part of the tradition of being among the elite. I was like you, filled with dreams and hopes, but then I realized I’m not the broke, unloved girl anymore. And you have more love than I ever did.”

“I’m sorry, Mother. And I don’t see you as a failure. I just want you to support my dreams and be happy about what I want.”

“I understand. So, if your artwork is picked, then I want to be there at the showing.”

“Really?”

“I’m sorry I wasn’t supportive of your goals and dreams before.”

“It’s fine. I understand now.”

She smiles, and I’m so glad she’s supporting me because that’s all I wanted from her.

I might be a disappointment to her, though, if she knew that I used to cut myself. I frown.

“What’s wrong, darling?”

Tears leak from the corners of my eyes, and slowly, I roll up my shirt sleeve, exposing the faint scars on my arm.

“I’ve been cutting myself instead of dealing with the pain of losing Bailey.”

My mother gasps as tears gather in her own eyes, then she brings me into a hug, and I cry on her shoulder.

“Snow helps me deal with it in other ways. He’s actually helping me a lot.” My mother doesn’t need to know how he hurts me and that I love the pain he inflicts on me. “I still think about her. I can’t believe I made it up that someone pulled me over and drugged me. I don’t remember taking a drug, but I must have. It’s my fault she passed away.”

“Accidents happen and we all make mistakes, you shouldn’t beat yourself up about it.”

“But I’m the one who got behind the wheel.”

“Yeah, you did, but you will go insane thinking about the what-ifs. Bailey wants you to be happy. She wants you to go on with the dream you have and live a great life. She doesn’t want you to be sad about something you had no control over. She knew both of you took a drug and she didn’t stop it. Just don’t do any more drugs.”

“I haven’t touched a single one since.”

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