Page 64 of Ruthless God

Lyrical

We barhop, visiting almost every bar in town, and by the time we get to the last one, I’m ready to call it a night. Though I don’t want to go back home.

Snow pours vodka down my throat. This reminds me of old times when we used to go barhopping all night and went to our respective classes the next morning drunk as fuck. Well, I would, not Snow. He has always been more responsible than me.

I pour a bottle of whiskey down his throat as he grabs a fistful of my ass, then I flop down on the leather cushion and set the bottle on the table. He pushes a strand of her hair behind my ear, then grabs me by the neck and kisses me hard before taking me to the bathroom and fucking me against the wall.

Once we’re done, we leave, and my bodyguard drives us to the iconic cliff which is thirty miles away from North Haven. People from all around the world come to visit.

The sea is calm and the salty air tickles my nose. I sit on the hood of Snow’s car, and he follows suit as we look at green and blue streaks of light in the pitch-black sky. Crickets chirping inthe background. It’s a little chilly, so I wrap my arms around myself, trying to keep warm.

Snow gets off the hood of his car and strolls to the trunk, pulling out a hoodie. When he sits next to me, he hands it to me. I yank the soft hoodie over my head, pulling it down and inhaling it.

It smells just like him, sandalwood and cinnamon.

We’re quiet for a while and I bring my knees to my chest.

I can’t believe I’m actually passing my college algebra class and graduation is only months from now, then I’ll be getting married to Snow. I didn’t expect things to spiral out of control between us the way they have, but things feel like they are back to normal between us. Living with him, I learned so much.

He’s more unhinged and he’s a lot sweeter than I initially thought. He has to be in control, and now I know the reason why he used to act like a possessive boyfriend whenever I talked to other men.

He wanted me.

I remove a fine strand of hair from his face, and he grabs my hand, kissing the inside of my palm.

He smiles at me. “Life is so funny. I used to crave for you to acknowledge me as the man you’re going to marry instead of your best friend.”

Snow is truly drunk because he doesn’t usually speak about his emotions like this.

Shocked, I run my fingers through his silky hair, my gaze dropping to his lips. “I did have a crush on you,” I answer honestly. “For a while. I used to get mad when you blew me off for a chick you were going to bang. I used to think, why couldn’t you use me instead? Why cou—”

He places his fingers over my mouth. “The only person I fucked since I met you was Savannah.”

I lean my head to the side. “What about high school? Taylor told me you two were banging.”

I remember that day. I was in the locker room, and I tried so hard not to bang her head against the locker when she was bragging about Snow.

“That’s a rumor she started to make herself popular. You’re the only woman I always wanted.”

My cheeks heat, and we’re both quiet again.

How would things have been if we both admitted we wanted each other? I understood where Snow came from when he told me he didn’t want to ruin our friendship. I always wanted to be accepted by him and never disappoint him.

“I accepted whatever you gave me,” he reveals, gripping my chin. “I used to accept whatever piece of yourself you had given me.”

“When did you know you like to dominate women in the bedroom?”

“I went to the Billionaire Club when I was seventeen and watched a man do it to a woman. In some part of the club, there is a sex room where you can watch people fuck, but the wall is a one-way mirror.”

“Oh.”

My skin feels heated from all the alcohol I consumed. My eyes venture to Russell, who stands by a tree, eating. I forgot he was here.

Just then, my phone buzzes in my pocket and I grab it. Glancing down, my mother’s name pops up across the screen, and I hit the Decline button.

“Why are you ignoring your mother’s call?” Snow stands between my legs, placing his hands on either side of me on the hood.

Tears well in my eyes but I don’t want to cry. Maybe it’s the alcohol in my system, but I want to know why she really doesn’t support me in my dreams of opening my art gallery.

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