Page 20 of Love Defies Us

“Get it out.”

“Don’t you have rehearsals with the band every Saturday?” She cocks her head to the side.

“I do, but I don’t want to go.”

“Why not?” She heads to the hallway closet and stands on her tippy toes to grab a box from the top shelf. Now I want to say forget the board game and just get down to fucking.

“I want to spend the day with you.”

Her cheeks turn rosy red and surprise skips across her face.

Then she beckons me to follow her into the dining room and she sets the board on the black marble dining table. I glance up and a chandelier with drops shaped like nipples dangles from the high ceiling. I park my ass in the beige chair as she perches across from me.

“Which color do you want?” she asks.

“Black.”

She turns the board around.

“You go first,” she says.

I place my hand on my chin, staring at the board. I move my piece to the right. Her face is blank, and she studies the board as if she’s studying for an exam. Focused and determined. I like how she’s tapping her index finger on the table as she thinks and the way a few strands of silky hair fall over her face. Man, I’m hard as a rock right now. We don’t speak for the next ten minutes.

“You never kiss me.” She keeps her eyes trained on the board. “Why?”

She asks out of the blue. My shoulder stiffens and I rub the back of my neck, then she looks at me with curiosity in her eyes. I was wondering when she’d get around to asking me why I wasn’t kissing her soft lips. Sadie is a detail-oriented person and she’s in tune with everyone around her.

She moves her checker to the right, then I jump two of hers, collecting them and setting them to the side. She’s inquisitive. Too inquisitive.

“Other parts of your body deserve my attention.”

“Be honest with me.” There’s intensity in her eyes. The truth is I don’t kiss her because it’s too intimate, and I don’t want to lead her on thinking that this will be something more than a fuck. It’s nothing more and nothing less.

“You’ve never been kissed, Thumbelina? You want me to pop your cherry in the kissing department as well?”

I lean forward, my mouth closer to her, and her breath hitches and her chest rises and falls rapidly. She smells like fresh peaches and summer rain. She smells like something I want to eat. I’m not going to kiss her. Kissing will push our relationship in a direction I don’t want to go. And I don’t want to hurt her in any way.

“Of course, I have. I kissed a guy that my mom arranged for me to marry. That kiss was lousy though. His breath stank so bad I thought he ate a skunk ass.”

I cock my eyebrow for her to go on. What the fuck? Did she say arranged marriage? Who the fuck does that? What kind of family was she was born into?

“I broke things off with him before I went to college. He was sixteen years older than me and his family owned a channel on network tv station.”

“Why did you break things off with him?”

“My dad forced me to. He wanted me to live my life.”

“You would have gone through with it?”

She nods reluctantly.

“Why?”

She moves her checker across the board. Her beautiful eyes zero in on the shiny hardwood floors, then she looks at me with guilt on her face. Maybe it’s embarrassment. Maybe it’s shame. Who the fuck knows with this chick? Sometimes her expression is harder to piece together.

She waits a few more moments before responding.

“It would have made my mom happy. I want her love and I want her to accept me.” She smiles sadly. Her sadness looks like someone who’s been searching for love in the wrong places.

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