It’s a wonder I never turned to black magic to hex each and every man I ever met.
Thank god my big sister, Georgia, married Dawn and got the hell out of this town. I’ve considered whether I should pursue women, but alas, I’m not attracted to them.
The only human male who gives me hope is my dad, Hollis. He treats my mother like a queen and me like his princess.
I hurry through the festival grounds, hoping to reach my dad’s truck before anyone spots me in my emotional state.
“Hey, Portia!”
Spoke too soon. Sigh.
My friend Esther holds up a freshly carved jack-o’-lantern cut into Beetlejuice’s face.
“Excellent knife work,” I tell her with a smile. She smiles back at me and runs her hand over her new pixie cut. I add, “And with all sorts of blades, I see.”
“I think I finally got the hang of this whole psychokinesis thing,” Esther says.
I look around self-consciously to make sure no one heard that. The town is pretty tolerant of the witch population here,but they don’t know we do real magic—as in spells, curses and hexes that go against their perceived laws of nature.
“Oh, no one is listening,” Esther says, seeing my wary look. She waves a dismissive hand. “Besides, it’s Halloween.”
I relax only a little. “Well, the hair looks fabulous and so does the pumpkin. I admit, I don’t understand why your power seems to work best on sharp objects, but you’ll make a powerful ally one day.”
This makes her laugh, which gratifies me.
“Blessed Samhain,” I say quickly, thinking I’ve made my escape.
“Speaking of Halloween,” she says. I pause my retreat, wincing as I turn back around.
“Yeah?”
“You’re coming to the house party, right?”
“Um…I don’t think so.”
Her eyes bug out. “You have to! I need someone there to rein me in so I don’t get all drunk and stupid around Aaron!”
Aaron is the witch from Salem she just started dating. She’s been worried that he’s too sophisticated and thinks we’re a bunch of hicks down here in Birchdale.
“You’ll be fine. He’s super into you. You just have to relax,” I say, which is the complete truth. The man is besotted with my friend.
“What about your date?” Esther asks.
I have to say it again, and it pains me. “He’s not coming. No one showed up. I must have interpreted the vision wrong.”
Esther pouts. “Come anyway. I’ll be your DD and you can drink your sorrows away.”
“Yeah, no thanks.” This feels like pity, and the last thing I want to do is be the drunk single gal who no one is looking out for on the horniest night of the year.
Esther peeks into the box I’m carrying and then gives me a skeptical look. “So, you’re telling me you’re going through with your Princess Lily costume but not going to the party? Come on.”
A party with a deejay, dancing, a bonfire, and general debauchery at an abandoned house would be perfect for a date. The perfect night for a ready virgin witch to get her V-card punched.
Alas, it’s just not happening.
“I’ll probably just stay home this year and hand out candy. We always get tons of trick-or-treaters up at Colony Hill.”
She winks. “Sure. Kids won’t know that a medieval dress doesn’t blend in with the other witches’ colonial outfits.”