Page 45 of Love on the Run

Ignoring the hot burn behind my eyes, I shove down the feeling of hopelessness I feel. I’m so close to having her and Asa back in a real way. Our connection at dinner wasn’t lost on all those present, and it wasn’t lost on me.

My words when I took her last night were not just spoken in the moment, they were real.

I love my wife, and I will stop and nothing to keep her.

TWENTY

MISTY BLUE

Flower

(Contains an act of self-harm, negative self-talk, and miscarriage)

I knew Akchiro would be gone when I woke. Knew it even as I gave myself the indulgence of his arms around me. I’m not surprised. Not really.

The whole reason he was even here being with me was for another Takeda heir and my dumbass couldn’t even do that right.

When we got in bed and he was holding me, I couldn’t bring myself to look at him. I was so scared I’d crumble after putting up a good front. Because if anyone can see through me it’s the Japanese billionaire, I gave my heart to. He has since the moment we met.

Akchiro is never one to hide his disappointment or disdain. My reasoning of him not being here this morning is obvious. He is giving me a chance to save face. He needn’t bother. I can’t brave my way through this. I feel shattered. I know I should feel relieved. Up until a few weeks ago the possibility of me having another child with him was the last thing I wanted to do.

Wiping my stinging nose, I try to focus on something other than how that early dread somehow turned to hope. I remember my horror when I saw my IUD placed on the table. How he allowed me to see Asa only if I complied. How things slowly got better and better until last night happened and I felt like his wife again.

I trusted him in such a primal way, and he took care of me. Despite what we took part in, I never for one moment felt exposed or disrespected. I felt worshiped. Cherished.

It’s so bizarre that now that I have seen the absolute worst of him. What he is truly capable of — hunting, kidnapping, extortion, and that’s just the top of a very long list; that I now feel safer with him. Because of all the things he’s capable of the one thing that never changed is how he will move heaven and earth for me.

How could he still love me? He said the words — “Aishiteru yo”

You don’t deserve them. “Yes, I do.” I affirm to myself despite my harmful self-talk. I pinch my bottom lip between my thumb and two fingers as I muse. “I do. I deserve good things. I’ve made mistakes. He has too. We will work it out.” I kick the covers back.That was before you didn’t give him another Takeda heir.I shove that thought away and a sick feeling worms its way through my heart. I need to talk to him.

There is whirl of the helicopters I barely notice as I hurry to dress. Probably the other men leaving with my friends. I still need to figure out how to get them free before they experience too much more trauma.

Even if I were to swear to Akchiro that Evangelina and Bridget had nothing to do with me leaving; which they didn’t I don’t think Ryu and Takashi will give them up.

Prosper, who actually did help me, Akchiro won’t lift a finger to help her. Other than me, he probably blames her. Tsuyoshiwould go to war for the insult. But I have to try, I resolve stepping into some pink pants and a pink palazzo blouse that crisscross in the front.

Twisting the knob I stop realizing it will be lock but surprise makes me gasps when it opens. I’m not locked in.

My heart skips to a happy beat knowing he would never forget. He let it stay unlocked. The staff no longer averts their gazes, but a few give me tentative smiles. I can see the Tokyo skyline in the distance. We must have gotten here over night.

Everything is so different this morning. I don’t let myself believe it.

My tummy cramps but not because of my cycle as I make my way to Akchiro’s office. I know the answers I need can only come from him.

If he’s in there he knows I’m on my way, I surmise so I don’t bother knocking when I reach the door.

I stop short when I see Dr. Ito and the Aussie chick, Miranda in his office. Dr. Ito is sitting in the seating area where there is a sofa a coffee table and two chairs arranged. Miranda is in a long flowing very upscale maxi halter dress has her back exposed.

“Mrs. Takeda,” Dr. Ito stands and bows which I return. Miranda flicks me a glance as if I’m bothering her but so insignificant she can’t be bother to give me even the most basic of greetings.

I look around the room in expectation.

“Mr. Takeda is not here,” Dr. Ito says nervously. Clasping and unclasping her hands in front of her.

“Well, I’ll come back later and talk to him.” I smile at the woman and turn.

“He’s not coming back.” The Aussie gives me anoh honey, fake sad smile.

---