Page 81 of Happy Trails & Honey Pots

“Is it AJ? Did he get himself into some online trouble or drugs or somethin’?”

“No, no, nothing like that.”

“Well, darlin’, you’re gonna have to help an old man out ‘cause I’m plumb out of ideas.”

Suddenly, I felt heavy. My limbs felt like they were dipped in cement. I don’t know if it was the guilt that I’d been carrying around. Not guilt that I’d hooked up with Miles, guilt that I’d developed real feelings for him. I’d fallen in love with Miles.

I lowered down into the chair. “It’s Miles.”

“Miles?” Walter questioned.

“I sort of, um, we…weretogetherwhen he was here.”

It took Walter a second before he realized what I was trying to say tactfully. Once he got it, a smile pulled on his mouth. “Was he the one who sent the flowers?”

“Yes.” I nodded.

“Oh, oh…well, that’s good…I mean…that’s great! Good for you two!” He beamed, but his expression shifted as he continued looking at me, and it dawned on him how upset I was. “Oh, so it’s not good. Did that man make promises to you?! Did he break your heart?” He started to push up out of his chair. “Do I need to go?—”

“No, no, no!” I quickly cut him off. With each word he spoke, he got louder and angrier. It actually felt nice that he was getting upset on my behalf and was ready to defend my honor. “Miles said he loved me. When the movie wrapped, he said he was in love with me. He said he loves AJ, and he said he loves you. Hewanted to move here and be with me. To be with us. He wanted to help me raise AJ. He said he knew I would need time, and that was all he was asking for. Just time. He just wanted to be in my life. But I told him that I was confused, and I didn’t know if I loved him. I told him he’d get bored and that we were from different worlds, and we’d never work.”

The silence that hung in the air was heavy, and I wondered if Walter was disappointed in me. We’d never talked about me dating again. He’d asked me about a few guys who he thought were interested in me, or as he put it, ‘sniffin’ around’ but I’d told him that I wasn’t ready, because I wasn’t. I had school, and I was raising AJ. Then I had to get used to the job and the shifts and still raising AJ. Every phase of his life came with new challenges.

Although, I had to admit, even to myself, if there was any time that I would be ready, it was now. AJ had his own friends, schedule, and life. But still, there was something holding me back. Or maybe it was something I was still holding onto.

I felt like I was betraying Austin. And betraying Walter.

“Honey, I know you love Austin, and you will always love Austin. Nothin’s ever gonna change that. But do you really think he would want you sittin’ around alone, missin’ him, when you could have love again? Is that themanyou think he was?”

“No. I’m not saying that. I’m just…if I do this. If I’m with someone else, then that means that he’s… It means Austin is…”

“Gone,” Walter said the word I couldn’t say. “Honey, he isgone. Austin’snotcoming back. But he will always be with you. He’ll always be with AJ. And he’ll always be with me. You know, I think that part of what’s holdin’ you back is that what you and Austin had was a family, and you never had that before. Not in the way you needed. And you feel like if you move on, you’re betraying him in some way. But that’s not true. You still have a family. I’m your family. You’remy girl.

“You know, I think Miles and this movie—all of it happened just the way that it was supposed to happen. Just last year, the funding fell through, and they said the movie wasn’t gonna happen. Then outta nowhere, Miles shows up, sayin’ he bought the rights, and he’s only gonna make the movie, if you’re okay with it. And then it turns out he’s dyslexic, to boot. He talks to AJ, and now AJ thinks he has a superpower. Instead of bein’ embarrassed, he’s proud of being different. I think all of that—losin’ the financing, Miles gettin’ the rights—I think that wasAustin. I think he sent that boy here for you. For you, and for AJ.”

“You do?”

“I do, Honey. And I think the best thing you can do if you really want to honor Austin, honor his memory, honor what you two had, is show your son what a loving, happy, healthy relationship looks like. That’s what Austin would want. He wouldn’t want you doin’ this all alone. Heneverwanted that. He promised you that you wouldneverbe alone, and I think he’s keepin’ his promise.”

More tears fell down my face.

He stood and held his arms out. I stood up and fell into his embrace. “Thank you, Walter.”

“Nothin’ to thank me for, Honey. That’s what I’m here for, cause you’re my girl.” He patted my back, and more tears fell down my face. “You were always my girl, and you’ll always be my girl.”

I knew that no matter what happened with Miles, I would be okay. I had a family. It might not be the one I was born into, but Walter was my family. I was his girl.

“So…” He lowered his arms and looked at me expectantly.

“What?” I asked as I wiped my cheeks and sniffed.

“You gonna call him or what?”

“Call Miles?”

“Yes, ma’am. You need to tell that boy you made a mistake.”

“What? Now?”

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