Page 69 of Happy Trails & Honey Pots

We headed out of the house and got in the car. As we drove to the set, which was my middle school, I wondered how I would feel seeing my life being re-enacted in front of me. Today, they were shooting the scene where Austin gave me the pot of honey. As the prop, they were using the actual pot that Austin had given me. I thought I’d be dreading seeing it, but I was actually just worried about AJ. I knew he’d been going over his lines every night. He and Kendall had been on Facetime rehearsing, but he still sometimes got the words mixed up, and anxiety triggered his symptoms.

I flexed my hands on the wheel.

“It’s okay, Mom. Don’t be nervous.” AJ patted my arm.

“What?” I turned my head and looked at him.

“You're doing that thing you do with your hands.” He reached out and opened and closed his fingers. “You do that when you’re nervous. It’s going to be fun. I know what I’m supposed to say. They’re going to tell me where to stand. Kendall has done this before, and she says I’m a natural. So does Miles. It’s fine.”

“You’re gonna doamazing!”I beamed at him. “I’m not worried about that.”

“What are you nervous about?” His brows gathered in the center. “Is it because this is about your life, and you don’t like attention?”

The truth was, I had been worried about him, but I wasn’t a huge fan of that aspect of this situation. “Yeah, I guess that’s part of it.”

“Yeah, but just think, now everyone is gonna know how great Dad was.” He looked back down at his paper.

Right. There was that. I guess that was the thing I should be thinking about. Maybe I had lost sight of that. Or maybe I had mixed feelings about that because the thing that made him a hero, that made him the reason that a movie was being made about him, was the reason I was never going to see him again.

I felt myself getting choked up, but I sniffed my emotions back. Today was not about me. Today was about AJ. I’d buried my emotions for nearly ten years, and I could do it for another week while I was on this set.

“Look! That says Fallen Hero cast and crew and parking! That’s us!” He scooted up in his seat excitedly as he pointed at a laminated sign attached to a light post.

I understood why they might have to put those up in cities where there could be confusion about where to park, but therewas only one parking lot for Firefly Middle School, so I thought it was a little bit overkill, but I was glad to see AJ was excited about it.

We parked beside a large white truck and got out of the car. On our way across the parking lot toward the trailer, a tall woman with two braids, a trucker hat, and a walkie-talkie on her shirt collar approached us. “Hi, I’m Sylvia, the 1st AD You are AJ, right?”

“Yep.” AJ nodded.

Her eyes shifted over to me as her hand flattened against her chest. Her tone grew somber. “And you must be the famous Zoe.”

With every word she spoke, I wanted the ground to swallow me up. I truly hoped that this was not an indication of how today was going to go. It had been bad enough when Austin first died, and everyone felt sorry for me. That lasted for a good five years. I was just getting to where everyone treated me normally. I didn’t want or need people’s pity again.

I chuckled, hoping to make light of her comment. “I don’t know about famous, but I am Zoe.”

“It is an absolute honor to meet you.”

“You, too.” I forced myself to grin.

“Okay.” She clapped her hand on her clipboard. “Let me take you to your trailer. There are some forms for you to fill out, Mom, and then we’ll get you through hair and make-up and wardrobe, AJ.”

“Make-up?” AJ’s face twisted in horror.

“I don’t think it’s that much,” I told him, even though I had no clue.

Sylvia motioned for us to follow her. On the way, I glanced around, looking for Miles. I knew he’d be on set today, but I didn’t see him anywhere. There were a ton of people there, though. So many more than I’d expected; there had to be atleast fifty. Everyone was bustling around and seemed to have an important job to do.

“Here we are!” Sylvia stopped in front of a trailer that had a white paper with the name AJ James on the door.

“Look, Mom!” AJ pointed at it excitedly. “Will you take my picture?”

“Sure.” He handed me his phone, and I took several photos of him next to the door.

We went inside, and when he saw there was a bathroom, a small table, and a couch, he got very excited and started taking videos of the space.

Sylvia handed me a stack of papers that I needed to fill out, and she took the documents I’d been asked to bring along to make copies of them. As I was filling out the forms, there was a knock at the door. My heart skipped several beats, thinking it might be Miles. When AJ opened it and I saw it was Kendall and her mom, I exhaled a breath I didn’t know I’d been holding. She wanted to run lines.

I sat and listened to them as I wrote down AJ’s birthdate, address, and medical information. It was the first time I’d been in the same room while they were rehearsing the dialog. It was so strange to hear back the words that Austin and I had said to one another. They were the same, but they felt so different.

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