Page 33 of Lux

The world brims with possibilities. I can wonder about things I couldn’t even dream of before. I can think dangerous thoughts, and I can yearn for that which has always been beyond my reach. My mother may hate and despise me—that is her right.

But I want to see her, at least. To know in which ways I am like her. Is it our eyes? The way we smile? I need something. Anything.

“Okay, hear me out.” Minchae tosses her rag aside and pulls her stool toward me. She perches herself on the edge of it and draws her knees up to her chest—a beautiful, effortless display of balance. “I have a plan. I’ve been toying it around in my head for years. It’s time I blow this joint and move on to greener pastures.”

Blow? I struggle to keep up with her terms, but I nod regardless.

“Cyrus guards that book with his fucking life, but I think if we work together, we can devise a plan just devious enough to work. Are you in?”

In? I nod.

She smiles. “Good. Luckily for us, your new performance will give us the perfect cover. I’ll go over your role. Memorize it as best you can, then leave the rest to me.”

I nod.

I will.

I will scheme and plot and plan.

I will see my mother’s face, any way I can.

At least then…

It might be enough.

CHAPTER 15

Caspian

The bastard makes us wait in his ‘home.’ There, he crowds us into a narrow room piled high with gaudy, worthless trinkets. He pours two delicate cups of gross-smelling liquid. I assume it to be perfume until he raises one of the cups to his mouth. Drinks.

Meeting my disgusted stare, he shrugs. “Vamryre can partake in some mortal niceties,” he says dryly. “Tea. Try some. It might calm your nerves.”

“No,” I hiss. Then I pace, balling my hands into fists, thinking of her alone out there. My fae.

How badly is she injured this time?

Is some monster feasting on her delicate remains…

“Please sit,” Altaris says. “You’re going to work up my darlings. We aren’t the only ones here, you know. I’m sure you remember how important it is to have peace and quiet while one regains one’s mind. And while you seem immune to bloodlust for now, not all of us are so lucky. Some of my darlings are irritable as they adjust to their new diet, so do be considerate.”

I stop. Cross to a chair. Sit.

The bastard annoys me, but he has a point. I do remember what it was like in my shattered mind. Unless I had her voice to cling to, the darkness was endless. My Niamh. She spoke to me, then. She guided me back. She shielded me in her twisted little mind.

Why can’t I hear her now?

I try to seek out those delicate thoughts. I find nothing. In my chest, something vile and disgusting stirs to life. It is an old friend, I think. From before Cassius. After Cassius.

Fear.

Imagining her gone forever fills me with fear. Cassius, I could live without. Survive without. Thrive without…

But Niamh…

“I need to find her,” I say, my voice grated and rough. “I need her back.”

“And we shall,” Altaris says after another sip of his tea. “It won’t be long now. Just an hour or so. In the meantime, I should remind you that your court appearance is in two days.”

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