Page 5 of Surviving the Darkness

Grisha

Party tonight, warehouse one. Free booze and pussy. Come on out, we are celebrating. We just burned down an Irish stash house with some men still inside.

Looking up at the ceiling, I huff out a laugh. Only Grisha would be ballsy enough to tell us about his murderous activities through text message. The man has no self-preservation. If anyone in law enforcement ever found his phone they would have a fucking field day with the amount of incriminating evidence he keeps stashed on there. Half the mob, mafia, and anyone in between would be locked up behind bars. I look over to Knox, and he’s chuckling as well.

I’m glad to see him smiling a little bit, even if it doesn’t reach his eyes. The guy deserves it for the stress he deals with daily. Without Knox, our family would fall apart, and I appreciate everything he does for us. “So, who wants to tell Grisha we aren’t going? I’m not going to be the one to let him know,” I chuckle out. Aidan and Knox’s expressions say they would rather eat bird shit than tell Grisha we aren’t going. Someone has to do it, and I already exclaimed it wouldn’t be me, even putting my finger on my nose for not it.

Aidan sees my finger and does the same, causing Knox to curse at his slower reflexes. Ha, I win again! I can't wait for Grisha’smessage to come through. I’m glad Knox is the one to do it. Hell, I was just saying he’s a good leader; the man has balls of steel, but I think even Grisha makes them shrivel up.

Knox

Hey, sorry man. Can’t make it.

Grisha

What do you mean? There is booze and torture, get over here.

Knox

We found Meadow and don't want to leave her.

Grisha

Ohhh fuckkk. How is she?

Knox

Not good.

Grisha

Sorry. I will make sure to take photos and videos of torturing this fuck, so you don’t miss out. Go take care of your girl.

Knox

Thanks.

That went a lot smoother than expected. Grisha sounds surprisingly calm, but hell, I guess Meadow does that to people. When they met a while back, she won him over, and they became friends of sorts. As she learned the ropes of our business, Grisha had been there to lend a very terrifying hand. I think he scaredher more than anything, but he did it to show her how dangerous our world truly was.

As we sit in Knox’s office laughing at our phones, dread fills me. Grisha’s words hit home, ‘take care of your girl’. How the fuck are we supposed to do that when all she’s sent our way since bringing her home is venom. If she were a snake, I would’ve been dead on the floor in her room the moment she set her eyes on me. Sighing, I rub a hand over my face. There’s a migraine starting at my temples the more I stress about Meadow. It should’ve been easy; we got her back, and we should be basking in comfort, love, and sex right now. Not shut out. But nope, my balls are still very blue, and my hand is very sore.

All we can do is wait it out for a few days to see if she calms down and remembers that we aren’t the enemy. That may give me a heart attack, but I know she needs time. We love that woman and need her to see that. To remember that feeling she needs to let us in, but I something tells me it's going to be anything but easy. I think the girl upstairs is about to take us on a scary roller-coaster ride, one that I may fall to my death from at any moment, but I’d gladly do it just to see her smile again.

Chapter 6

Knox

After talking with the guys, I figure I should check in on Meadow. I hate myself for not protecting her. That's why I haven’t been able to see her yet, but I’m hoping she fell back asleep after the guys left, so I don’t have to face her yet.

Rubbing a hand over my stubble, I stand up and stretch my legs. I figure it’s about time to get to bed after I check on our girl. Nodding my head at the guys, I walk out of my office and leave them to discuss whatever the fuck they were talking about. I kinda zoned out on their conversation as I thought about Meadow and racked my brain for how to help her.

Pain and longing hit me hard as I take a step closer to her room. I’m afraid of what I will find when I get to her door. Will Meadow scream at me to leave or will she cry and look helpless? I can’t stand either emotion from her right now, and that makes me a fucking prick, but I’m outside my area of expertise when it comes to emotions, especially Meadow’s emotions. I want to fix everything, but I don’t think it will be so easy this time around, and it’s all because of my fucking mistakes that we are in this situation.

If I were a better leader, Meadow and Skylar wouldn’t have been taken. Neither would be suffering right now if it wasn’t for my mistakes. I need to be stronger for my family, and I don’t know if I can be what everyone needs. Maybe everyone would be better off without me around; all I bring is chaos to everyone's lives. I started a war with the Irish because I couldn’t protect Meadow, and I refuse to live without her. How fucking selfish of me. I put everyone’s life at risk because I refuse to be with anyone else.

As I reach Meadow’s door, I take a big breath and slowly crack open the door, trying not to wake her if she’s asleep. After peeking my head into the dimly lit room, I see a pile of blankets on the floor near her bed, but I don’t see Meadow anywhere. But it’s honestly hard to see when the room is this dark. I use the flashlight app on my phone to search the room for our girl. As I step inside, I notice that the pile of blankets on the floor isn’t a pile at all; it’s Meadow curled into a ball with her comforter barely covering her.

Moisture fills my eyes, and I’m helpless to stop the tears from falling down my cheeks as I stare at Meadow. She’s sleeping on the fucking ground, curled in a ball, and the sight breaks my fucking heart. I knew not to expect everything to go back to the way it used to be, but I hadn’t been expecting this. How badly did her kidnapper hurt and abuse her? Physically, I know sheisn’t okay, but those wounds will heal. What I wasn’t prepared for was for him to have broken her mentally as well. I don’t want to disturb her, but I can’t stand the sight of her on the floor. A battle is brewing in my head right now. I need to know she’s comfortable, but I don’t want to startle her by moving her.

---