Page 26 of Surviving the Darkness

Each of us are healing in a different way. I need Meadow to see that we want to change for the better; to show her we are worthy of her presence. We just have to hope that she’ll give us another chance to prove it. When she comes home, Ethan can help remind her what love is. Meadow went through a lot, and I’ll never take her life for granted again. I know the guys and Iwill do any and everything to protect her. I also know she may hate us for it, but I can’t stand the thought of losing her to some psychopath again.

“If all goes well, she should be able to come home in a few days, but that means you three can’t be here when she does. Meadow has a long way to go in her healing, and you remind her of what she went through, even though it’s not your fault. I know you all love her; I do too, but give her space. I’ll update you on her progress, but don’t overwhelm her,” Ethan sternly says.

“We won’t interfere; no matter how much we want to. We’ll give you time, but I can’t wait forever. That girl holds my heart, all of our hearts, and I need to see her with my own two eyes whenever she’s ready. Even if just to talk. I’m not saying we have to be together, but I want to start over with friendship when the time comes. Please keep that in mind,” Phoenix says, surprising me.

I nod my head in agreement; everything he says is true. I don’t have a lot of patience. I’m trying, but if Meadow doesn’t want to see me soon, I may reach the end of my rope. I don’t know what will happen if the day ever comes that Meadow decides she doesn’t want to be with us again. I promised her she could never hide from us again, and that’s a promise I’ll keep; no matter how much she may hate me. I’ll know her every move even if we aren’t together.

Chapter 25

Meadow

Today is the day I get to leave the hospital, and I have so many mixed feelings about it. Ethan has been amazing since the moment he entered my life again. Now that I know everything, I can begin to heal properly. I'll be staying with him until I feel comfortable living on my own again without fear of being taken. I also talked to Storm about the guys, and she told me to take it one day at a time, but that it would be good for me to sit down with them when I’m ready and tell them how I feel and why I feel the way I do.

I’m not sure I can face them quite yet since I learned they really had been searching for me the entire time. Aidan and Phoenix weren’t lying when they told me that. I thought they lied, like Damon told me, but I know now that he manipulated me. They never gave up on me, and I’m not sure I’m ready to face the music yet. There are a lot of emotions when it comes to the men in my life, and I think I need to heal more before I attempt to mend what is broken. I’m still not sure if I can ever be with them again. There is so much baggage and damage from our past that there may not be a future.

I’m not the same girl they fell in love with, and I never will be again. I’m too broken, and the pieces I have slowly been putting back together aren’t smooth. The ends are jagged, raw, and scarred beyond repair. I’m barely holding it together on a good day, and I know I’m not the girl they remember. And I can’t go through that heartbreak a third time. Let alone even think of anything sexual because of what happened. But Knox, Aidan, and Phoenix are very sexual beings; I don’t want them to have to wait for me. I don’t know if I will ever be able to have a sexual experience again, but time will tell. For now, I need to take my healing one hour at a time, one day at a time.

Storm and the nurses bid me farewell as Ethan and I exit these sterile hospital walls and walk to his rental car. We put my belongings in the back seat before taking off. I never asked where he’s renting a place, but I know we’ll be in this car for a little while because traffic in California is always shit. We merge onto the freeway, and I stare out at the scenery as we pass. I always took this place for granted but never again. I’m going to work on finding the beauty in everything even if it’s small.

The blue sky with the sun shining down and warming my skin feels so fucking nice that I close my eyes and soak it up as best I can. Ethan is singing along to some pop song while driving, and the entire situation feels so normal with him; so right thatI forget why he even came to the States. I’m grateful he came at my time of need, but I feel bad that he had to drop his entire life to come save me.

I don’t know how I’ll ever repay him, but I make a silent promise to myself that I will never take Ethan for granted. He’s stuck with me, and I’m never letting him go. I smile over at him, and he must see me staring from the corner of his eye because he smirks at me. His blond hair is wild, like he was running his hands through it. He’s wearing a pair of jeans that mold perfectly to his body and a black shirt that shows off his muscles. Ethan looks like an emo model, and if I wasn’t traumatized by men, I may have thought about being with him, but for now, I just admire how good he looks.

As we continue our commute, I think of how to heal. The first thing I need to do is get a new phone and contact Jace. I have a request I’m sure he will be happy to fulfill. I also need to see Sky, but I’m not sure I’m ready to hear what she went through. I just hope it wasn’t as bad as my time in captivity. I will continue my therapy sessions with Storm twice a week, but I think a lot of my demons will disappear once Jace teaches me his ways.

I’ve always been a pacifist, but after what happened to me, I have a thirst for blood. I smile as I think of all the ways to rid this world of bad men. They won’t know what hit them when the time comes. Problem is, there is one small piece of the puzzle I’m missing. Why did Damon choose me?

I’ll ask Ethan for help with that one because with his connections maybe we can figure out why I was taken. I don’t think Damon picked me because he was obsessed with me; a man obsessed wouldn’t have acted how he did. He would have acted alone and never let anyone else touch me. I did a lot of thinking while lying in the hospital, and my conclusion is that someone hired him to take me but who and why?

I’ll find out, and whoever it was is dead. I have a growing list of men who need to die once I’ve honed my skills. One by one, those names will get crossed off. I contemplate who should be my first victim. Smiling to myself, I think of more names to add. Like I said, I’m never taking life for granted again. I will cherish the small things, like watching the life leave evil men’s eyes.

Ethan gets off at our exit, and the roads start to look familiar. We are headed in the direction of Knox’s house; he better not be taking me there. If he does, I will tuck and roll out of this car so fast he won’t know what happened.

“Umm, where are we going?” I hesitantly ask.

“I rented a house not too far from here. We aren’t going to the guys’ house, so don’t worry. I know it seems close, but I promise that’s not where we are headed,” Ethan says as he places a hand on my knee.

I sigh in relief, thank god. About ten minutes later, we pull into the driveway of a house that seems familiar, but I can’t figure out why. The place is so cute; it’s small but inviting on the outside. Somewhere I can see myself living long term. I must have driven by this house before because it calls to me. Whatever the reason, this place is absolutely gorgeous, and I can’t wait to heal within these walls.

“Where did you find this place?” I ask.

“Umm, I’m renting it from Knox. I promise they won’t show up without your approval, but it’s their house. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner,” Ethan says.

“Ohh, okay. Umm, that's fine, I guess. Just as long as they don’t show up. Promise me you won’t tell the guys anything about me. They don’t get to know things until I’m ready to share,” I say.

We step inside, and my breath catches. The place is amazing. It’s warm and welcoming. The familiarity throws me for a loop because the house is designed exactly how I’d dreamt as a littlekid that my future house would look. It makes me question the guys; did they have something to do with this? No. I refuse to think they did this for me. Besides, I don’t remember talking about my dream house to them. It’s just a happy coincidence; at least that’s what I’m telling myself.

We unload my belongings and leave my medication on the counter. Ethan bought me one of those pill holders for each day of the week, and I swoon a little as I watch him carefully read every bottle and place the correct medicine in the proper areas. He’s taking my health seriously, and I love him for it.

Even the small things mean so much to me. He must notice me staring because when he looks up, his cheeks turn an adorable shade of pink.

“I’m just making sure you’re taking the right medicine at the correct time. This pill holder will make our lives easier, is all,” Ethan says with a shrug like it’s no big deal, but we both know it is.

I let him do his thing as I wander to explore the rest of the house. I walk into one of the rooms, and it looks like a bedroom that hasn’t been used recently, so I claim it as my own. The bedspread is a dark plum color, and it screams mine. If this is Ethan’s room, too bad, because I’m claiming it—not like he’d put up much of a fight. As I investigate my new living space, I hear footsteps walking toward me. When I look over, I see Ethan standing in the doorway with his arms crossed and a smile on his face.

“Hey, do you want lunch? I was thinking ham paninis. I did some exploring once I got your meds situated and found a panini press,” Ethan explains.

“Yeah, that sounds amazing. I’m starving. Wanna make them together?” I ask.

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