Page 22 of Surviving the Darkness

“No, it really doesn’t,” I mutter. Jealously rages through my body at the thought of them being with her while I’m across the damn world.

“We will stay in touch. Don’t worry about it. When you’re eighteen, you can move back, and we can get a place together or something. We will work this out. You are family, and I won’t lose you,” Knox says.

That makes me feel a little bit better, but I hate that I have to leave everything I’ve ever cared about. “I have to tell Meadow. I just wanted you to know first,” I say as I stand up.

Hopping back on my bike, I ride to Meadow’s house, my stomach feeling like lead the closer I get to her house. How can I break my own fucking heart by telling her I won’t be around anymore? I can’t stay in touch with her. It will hurt too much, no matter how much I want to. Maybe we can write back and forth, but I can’t hear her voice on the phone, or I’ll never survive.

I’ll stay in touch with the guys because I need to know how she’s doing, but I can’t bear to hear her voice when I’m gone. I park my bike in her yard, and find her sitting on the front porch in a sweatshirt and sweatpants. She looks so fucking hot dressed like this. I mean she looks hot in whatever she is wearing but still.

“Hey, lightning bug, what are you doing outside?” I greet her.

“Enjoying the cool air before it gets scalding hot again. What are you doing here?” Meadow asks.

“I’m here because I got some news today, and I need to tell you,” I say as I take a seat next to her on the front step of her house.

“That doesn’t sound good. What is it?” Meadow asks.

“I’m leaving. My parents are moving us to London in a month,” I tell her, afraid to meet her eyes and see her reaction.

“What! No... Ethan! Just no,” she says.

“I know. I hate it. There’s nothing I can do, though. It’s going to be hectic when I move, so I may not be in contact for a while as I catch my bearings. I just wanted you to know,” I say as I wrap my arm around her shoulder, needing her touch. She breaks down in sobs, and I just hold her.

Over the next month, I spend as much time as I can with her and the guys. After I hopped on that plane, I never spoke to her again, and I made the guys promise not to tell her that I stayed in touch with them. It was too hard on me, and they understood. That was the worst year of my life.

Chapter 22

Ethan

Holding Meadow again is a dream come true. Something I didn’t think would be possible for a while. She was my best friend growing up, and it broke my heart to move away. I have a lot of lost time to make up for but, luckily, I know almost everything about her from keeping in touch with the guys. I was actually the first to meet Meadow before Knox, Aidan, and Phoenix.

Meadow and I are the same age, so we met in kindergarten, and the rest is history. She was my best friend long before any romantic feelings came about. We told each other everything;she was my other half, and then we met the guys, forming an instant family. We were attached at the hip before I moved across the ocean. I stayed in touch with the guys only so I could hear about Meadow. I know it was fucked up that I refused to talk to her, but I figured it was the best way to distance myself. Who knew if we would ever see each other again.

Meadow lying on my chest in a psych ward wasn’t how I expected a possible reunion to go, but I will take what I can get. No matter how much I don’t want to move, I know there are some things to discuss that can’t wait anymore. Like her living situation and finding her the help she needs to continue healing after she gets released from the hospital.

“I love having you in my arms, but we need to talk,” I say to Meadow.

“Oh, umm, okay, yeah. I’m sorry for crying on you. Too many emotions when I first saw you. I’m sorry,” Meadow apologizes.

“Nothing to be sorry about, lightning bug. I’m so happy to see you, but I think we need to talk about why you’re here and where you’re going after here,” I tell her.

“Yeah, that makes sense. I have been doing really well since I got here. I know I messed up, but I thought there was no other option. You have to know that. If it’s alright with you, I would like to see if Storm will sit in with us while we talk. She’s the doc who helped me find ways to keep my panic at bay,” Meadow explains.

“Yeah, we can do that. When do you meet with her next? I would love to know how to help if you’ll let me,” I ask.

“Oh, I can request a meeting with her whenever so long as she’s free. Why don’t I call the nurse and see if she's available now,” Meadow says as she gets off me and brushes her hand down her weird-looking pants.

I stand and stretch my legs, lifting my hands over my head to also stretch my arms. Meadow stares at my abdomen wheremy shirt rode up, and I feel like puffing my chest out at the way Meadow is looking at me. I smirk, and she blushes, having realized I caught her staring. I don’t mind her looking at me the way she is. We’ll have to work up to that, though, because I know she isn’t ready for anything romantic and probably won’t be for a long time.

I follow her to the nurses’ station, where she asks to meet with Dr. Storm. I stand awkwardly behind her because I have no idea what the protocols are when it comes to situations like this. I’m completely out of my element, but I’d do anything for the girl in front of me.

“Hey, is Storm available for a session?” Meadow asks the nurse.

“Let me check, dear. One moment,” the nurse says and walks away.

After what feels like an eternity of just standing in one spot, staring at Meadow, the nurse returns and tells us Dr. Storm can meet now. I wonder why Meadow calls her Storm. Meadow walks away with a nod and leads me down a hallway, then knocks on a wooden door. The sound echoes through the hall, and a soft voice responds, “Come in.” Meadow turns the knob and walks in with a lightness she didn’t have before.

When we enter the office, I find it has a warm, cozy feel. I could see myself opening up in here, and I’m not even a patient. Meadow sits down on the black sofa in the room, and I take the spot beside her. Dr. Storm is an older lady with soft eyes and a welcoming smile. I nod my head in greeting, waiting for her to speak first since I’ve never been in therapy, and this isn’t my session.

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