Page 87 of Rancher's Return

She took his hand, her fingers laced gently with his, the kind of touch he hadn’t had much in his life. Something sweet. Not demanding. A connection.

They walked along in silence. Until he thought something inside of him was going to burst. Then he turned to her and kissed her. Right there on the beach. He didn’t care if anybody saw, but there was nobody out there with them anyway.

He held her close, kissed her deep. Until they were both gasping for air.

Then he walked with her, in their own footsteps, back up to the house. He brought her inside and walked upstairs with her, turned on the shower. “I’m going to make good on my promise keep you warm,” he said.

He stripped his shirt off, the rest of his clothes.

She looked at him, her eyes filled with a kind of bashful hunger he found intoxicating.

As the water warmed, he went and grabbed a condom. Then he stripped her bare. He brought the condom into the shower with them, and she gazed at it wide-eyed.

“Oh come on,” he said.

“I don’t know. This seems like a really good way to die. And I don’t really want to have to explain it to my mom.”

“Well, in fairness, if you’re dead, you don’t have to explain it to your mom.”

She choked a laugh. “I guess. But it’s going to end up being news. It’ll be on the internet.”

“Have a little faith in me. In my skill set.”

He moved the water over her soft skin, aroused her until all objections were lost. Her hands slick, gliding over his body, pushed him to a whole new place. One he’d never been to before. And he could talk about his skill set all he wanted, but this was uncharted territory for him. The feelings.

He pressed her against the wall and kissed her, moved his hands between her legs until she was crying out his name. And then he took hold of the condom, tore it open and rolled it over his hard length. He positioned himself between her thighs, lifted her up and pushed slowly inside of her.

She let her head fall back, but then forward, her eyes fluttering open. “Colton,” she said.

His name on her lips like that, it set a fire off inside of him. Ignited something.

He was wild then, pushing them both to the brink. There were no skills here. It was just brute, driving need. And nothing else.

It was just all these years of wanting her and not having her. All these years of wishing it was her with him. Her and no one else.

His whole body felt raw with that realization.

You’re always wishing for someone who isn’t there.

He felt like that truth tore him open. Exposed the ugly part of his detachment.

He was holding on to himself, to his heart, to all the pieces inside of him, because he was never with the person he missed the most.

He was able to care for Buck. He cared for his brothers.

But there were parts of himself he held on to ferociously because he missed his mother.

Because whatever woman he had in bed with him wasn’t Lily.

Love could be so painful.

And it felt significant to have this realization. With her, with the snow, with everything. Like it was meant to be. Because there shouldn’t be snow here, and there shouldn’t be snow on the roads, and he shouldn’t be in the shower with his stepsister, but all those things were true, and they were happening.

There was noshould. There was just this.

He was pretty damned cynical sometimes. He made a study of it. But he couldn’t be cynical about this.

Worse, he didn’t want to be.

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