Page 63 of Rancher's Return

When Lily came home, she was the immediate and total focus of Marigold’s feelings, because what else was she supposed to do with all the pain building up inside her chest.

Certainly not feel it.

She almost laughed at that. At herself for being so ridiculous.

At everything.

“You’re really okay?”

“I said that I was,” Lily said.

“Well, I just I know breakups can be hard and...”

Lily frowned. “Are you okay?”

She realized that she probably looked a mess, and that her mascara was running.

“I’m good,” she said.

“Did something happen with Buck?”

“Lily... This isn’t about me. It’s about you. And the fact that you chose to do something rash because you were worried about me.”

“That wasn’t why. I was thinking about what you said. About the fact that I’m going off to school, and you’re right. How am I supposed to go off and have new experiences if I’m obsessing about a guy back home. I like Colton, and I didn’t want things to get dramatic between us. So now they don’t have to. It’s not a drama.”

“Oh.”

She wouldn’t know what “not a drama” was like. Since every time she tried to feel something, apparently it was a drama. It ended with screaming in the streets.

“Lily... Buck and I broke up.”

“You broke up?”

“Yes.” She sighed heavily. “I wanted more than he was ready to give. And you know, this is why I worried about you. You and Colton. It isn’t about maturity, it’s about the fact that this kind of stuff can be really dangerous. I’m thirty-three, I should have it together a little more. It’s not like I’m totally inexperienced with men.”

Lily grimaced. Because what could be more horrifying than having to hear about your mother’s past sexual experiences? Even if implied? Nothing.

But if Marigold had to be a cautionary tale, then she would be.

It would at least make this heartbreak feel like it had a point.

“Well, you know you were born somehow,” Marigold said. “So don’t grimace at me.”

“I’m just... Mom, are you okay?”

“No,” she said. “I mean, I’m going to get out of bed and I’m going to do things, and I’m going to be your mom, and I’m going to be myself, but I’m hurt. It’s been really, really difficult these last couple of hours. So I don’t know what it’s going to be like going forward. I really thought we had something. I thought he was in love with me. Anybody can get hurt when there are bodies and hearts involved. And so if you take anything away from this, I just want you to take away that...this is why I was worried about you. Because it’s hard for me to go through. And I would never want to see you in this kind of pain.”

“I don’t want to see you in pain either,” Lily said. “How can he not be in love with you? You’re the best and you’re amazing. You are the sweetest, nicest, most caring person I know. You’re the best mom. You have done more for me than I can ever thank you for. You’re just... You’re wonderful. And if he doesn’t realize that, then he can go straight to hell.”

Marigold should probably correct Lily for speaking out harshly, but she wasn’t going to.

“I don’t want you to be jaded, and I don’t want you to be armored,” Marigold said. “But I do want you to be aware that... Love can be... Well, it can bethis.”

“I’m sorry.” Lily wrapped her arms around Marigold. “He should appreciate you.”

“Thank you. I want you to remember too, Lily, that love can also bethis.” They parted for a moment, and she felt a little glimmer of hope inside her, a little shaft of light shining through the gross darkness. “We have had a lot of love. And we have a great life. Nothing was ever missing. How could it be, when I have you? The greatest daughter in the world. I’m so proud of you.”

“Thanks, Mom,” she said.

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