Her request was simple, but so hard to honor. “I have?—“
She shook her head no and cut me off. “Please come to bed.”
Her lids were already closing, drifting off to sleep, and I thought maybe I’d lay here for a while until I was sure she was out, then head back to my office to work, like I did so many other nights. She’d never know. I’d stay long enough, then shower,then finish what I started earlier this evening before she called us to a movie. So I kicked off my shoes, removed my pants and shirt, and crawled into bed next to her, unprepared for her body to curl toward me in sleep. I closed my eyes, savoring the touch I’d missed for so long, never intending to sleep.
Sun was filtering in streams of yellow through the window when I opened my eyes the next morning. It took me a moment to realize that the weight that lay heavy against me was my wife, who normally went to great lengths to keep to her side of the bed. Yet this morning, her arm and leg were flung over my body, pinning me in place.
I didn’t hate the feeling of her skin against mine. In fact, judging by the way my dick stood at attention, I suspect this was a feeling I could more than get used to. I let my eyes roam over her sleeping form as I tried not to move. I must not have tried hard enough because a few moments later, her eyes fluttered open. Her body suddenly stiffened, but before she could pull away, I tightened my arm against her back, pinning her in place.
“Stay.”
She didn’t respond, and I thought maybe she would get up and leave, but she finally spoke, her voice so soft that if I wasn’t so close to her, I would have missed it. “I’m sorry.”
“For what?” I squeezed her arm, letting her know I wasn’t sorry that she was here with me.
“Mercer was right. It’s unfair. I broke the rules, and I can’t be jealous of what I find because of that.”
“He could have gone about it differently.” I sighed, bringing my hand up to stroke the soft strands of hair. “But I think, breaking the rules aside, he’s right. You need to decide what you want and make it clear. It’s not fair to you or them to remain in limbo.”
Her hand came up, her tiny little fingers stroking against the skin of my bare stomach and I froze, afraid to breathe for fear that she might stop the innocent touch I’d missed for so long. I held my breath, keeping as still as possible, as her fingers moved slightly, dancing over the scars.
“Does that hurt?”
God no. If anything, it was more sensitive than the rest of my skin. “You could never hurt me.”
“Will you tell me what happened?”
I didn’t want to. I didn’t want to talk about my dead wife while in bed with my new one. But I didn’t want to lie to her or withhold information. She wanted to know about my past and she deserved to know.
“It wasn’t supposed to end like that,” I began. “There was an opening ceremony for the renovated downtown theatre. I’d been a big donor to the project. Elizabeth and I took a car. Ace was going to follow on his motorcycle.” I took a deep breath now, struggling with the memory. But maybe it would be good to get it out, to tell the story that haunted my dreams. “We were a few miles from here when the first car pulled up behind us. I thought nothing of it until the next car neared. I recognized them, of course, Joseph’s Accardo’s men. I’d had trouble with them in the past, but I’d never expected to see them this close to home. I was younger then, thought I was invincible, I guess. I know better now.”
She snuggled closer, and the action gave me some form of comfort as I continued. “I tried to maneuver away from their cars, but there was nowhere to go. Before I could react, the back window broke, and fire had torn through the back seat.” Belle gasped, her hand going to her mouth, but I reached for her hand, entwining our fingers before I rested it on my chest again. “Between the fire and the cars that rammed into me, I lost control, and we hit a tree. The cars sped away, assuming we’dboth died. Clearly, I hadn’t. The doctors would later tell me they were dead on impact, but at that moment, I hadn’t wanted to accept it. It was a struggle to unbuckle her. The fire tore at my skin, burning me, but I felt nothing. It wasn’t until I had her out of the car that I felt anything at all. There was so much blood. Hers. Mine. And I knew there was no way my child would have lived through that, but I still had hope, you know. Ace pulled up on the scene. And God, I’ll never forget his devastation. It was a mirror of my own. He almost lost me too that day; maybe in some ways, he did. I think the only thing that kept me alive was my determination to get revenge. My son would have started kindergarten this year, had he lived. It’s crazy when you put time into perspective by milestones like that. But I think about that sometimes.”
Her hand that I wasn’t holding in place went to her stomach, like she was realizing the child she carried was linked to the monster who took it all from me. Before she could even finish forming a single thought, I added, “I’d never use our child for revenge if that’s what you’re thinking. I’ve claimed him as mine, so as far as I’m concerned, he has no link to that family.”
“Her.” She corrected me as she always did, and the playful tone in her voice was needed to lighten the mood after I laid the heaviness of my past on her.
“Oh? You think so.” I rolled so her body was below mine, and I was hovering over her, staring down into her eyes. “We’ll find out tomorrow, you know, and you’ll see I’m right.”
She spread her legs to allow room for my body to nestle close. “Or… hear me out…” She smirked. “We’ll find out that I am right.”
“I don’t know. I don’t think we can handle another girl around here. You already have all these mean men out here doing all your bidding. What would another girl to order them around do?”
Her teeth toyed with her lip and her eyes grew serious as she admitted, “I don’t know what I’m supposed to do.”
I used every ounce of energy to hold myself over her and not let my lower body sink into her warmth. “What do you mean?”
I caved, lowering my head to kiss her neck, offering that sweet spot the quickest of pecks before I brought my gaze back to hers. She shifted under me, and I knew she could feel the thickness of my cock against her thigh with the movement, but she said nothing about it. Instead, she licked her lips, a temptation in itself before she spoke. “I don’t know how to do relationships. Not with one, not with three. I don’t know how to do…“
She stopped, her face turning scarlet. When she didn’t continue, I prompted, “You don’t know how to do what?”
She looked away, refusing to meet my eyes as she spoke. “I don’t know how to do sex.”
I fought not to burst out laughing. “Do sex.”
“You know what I mean. The only experience I had, I can’t remember. And now there are three of you, and I don’t know what to do.”
I rested my weight on an elbow and buried my fingers into the hair at the back of her head, cradling her. “You’re afraid of us.”