Page 55 of Resisted

SILAS

Fucking hell.I didn’t even know what we were all thinking, but we’d all sunk in unison, hitting the bottom with a splash so grand, the wave had to have been felt around the world.

When she came, fuck it, but when she came…I’d nearly blacked out. I’d felt it, felt just an ounce of pleasure as it rippled through her body and poured into my lips. She’d bitten me, and the little bit of blood still lingered on my tongue if I brushed it against my lower lip.

Bella, as our mate, was a disaster.

Bella, in our arms, a fucking masterpiece.

A masterpiece that I couldn’t even begin to look in the eyes. I was always broken when it came to her. My weakness? Those fucking violet eyes that saw into my soul. My strength? Well, it was my willpower allowing me to keep my distance. Now? All I had was weakness. Achilles’ heels. Chipped armor.

I straightened her dress as I pulled away, pulled up the revealing material to cover what I could of her breasts, before I stepped back. I couldn’t look at her, couldn’t look in her eyes, but I could feel her gaze searing into me. Me. Not Boyce. Not Vince. Me. When it came down to it, she had those men wrapped around her fingers, but me, I was the wild card. I was the one she couldn’t tame.

Only, if given the chance, my resolve would crumble into a pile on the floor, and as much as I wanted that, I couldn’t. This whole situation was wrong, despite my lapse in judgment and weakness. Because of how much I wanted her, to keep her forever, I needed to get away. I needed space. I needed—

“I forgot I had a meeting with Roth this evening.” I took a step back. “I’ll meet you at home tonight.”

It was a lie, and judging by the looks on all of their faces, they all knew it. Still, I couldn’t handle the drive home with her scent filling the cabin of my truck, suffocating me with the knowledge of what we’d done, knowing that if given the chance, I would do it all over again. Without question. A million times over. The concerning part was that although my parents raised her, despite the fact I watched her grow up, even though my own mate was slaughtered in front of me, I didn’t regret wanting her. I only regretted not being able to fulfill the one thing she’d asked of me—to find her pack.

I would do it, even if it was the very last thing I ever did. There was no way I would allow myself to die knowing I’d let her down. She needed answers, and we needed to give them to her so she could feel as content as her very life made Boyce and Vince.

“It’s a little late for a meeting with Roth,” Vince pointed out. Fuck him. Couldn’t he let me escape without making it obvious?

“It’s a little late for you to be sticking your fucking nose where it doesn’t belong,” I spat back. “Get Bella home.”

It wasn’t like I needed to tell them. I knew with absolute certainty that Bella wouldn’t escape their grasp for the rest of the night. One look at her face, the thoroughly fingered and just fucked glow that had taken over her, and I knew she wouldn’t want to stay here much longer, anyway.

I walked away, turned my back to my men, to my pack, to my… Fuck I didn’t want to admit it, even though I good and well knew the truth, but I turned my back to my mate. The action itself was the single most painful thing I’d ever done, but I would do it repeatedly because it was for the best.

She deserved love.

Devotion.

To be undeniably worshipped at every turn.

And deep down, a part of me who wanted to fall prey to my own mental manipulations and justifications was saying,Doesn’t she get love? Devotion? Worship?Though it might have been true that the boys loved her, that they were undeniably devoted to taking care of her and worshiping every breath she took, it wasn’t enough. She needed more—more than a pack of poacher hunters could ever offer her.

Though I walked away, I watched. I watched as Vince finally tore his fingers from her body long enough to find her hand, and then he pulled her toward the bar to find her red-haired friend. I watched as Boyce smiled as he leaned in, whispering something that made her blush. I watched as all four of them headed to the exit.

I followed them, keeping my distance so that I wouldn’t be detected. My eyes never left Bella until she climbed into the backseat of her car with her friend, Vince taking the driver’s seat and Boyce taking the passenger. I was jealous, I knew. The fact was made clear when just looking at my subpack made me want to smash their heads in, as if it were their fault I was keeping my distance when it was so clear that they preferred I didn’t.

I waited until the taillights were just out of sight before I got in my truck and pulled out, follow them in the same direction that I knew Lynette lived. As predicted, I watched as Boyce walked her to the door like a fucking gentleman, then they pulled out, driving down country roads heading toward home.

I could see them laughing, smiling, having a good time, and I loathed that they could do that without me, despised that I was on the outside, even if the choice was mine to make. When they pulled into the driveway, I kept my distance and parked on the side of the road farther down, then I watched. It may have had a certain level of creep to it, but I couldn’t stomach the knowledge that they were all cozying up together in bed while I sat in a cold truck, wishing life choices were different.

Boyce’s light was the first to come on, and a pit in my stomach sank straight down. I couldn’t let myself acknowledge what could be happening. Would they all be in there? Without me? Did they miss that I was gone? I couldn’t take it, couldn’t handle the suspense much longer. I reached for the door handle, my fingers clamped on to the cool metal of the lever, when Vince’s light turned on.

My breath was coming heavy as I watched, waited, urged just one more light to appear. I pulled the handle, the door popped open as the mechanism released, and when I couldn’t wait any longer, when I couldn’t stand the suspense, my foot hit the solid packed dirt below my feet.

I was already crossing the road, my mind convinced that looking into my subpacks’ windows wasn’t creepy and absolutely necessary, when suddenly, the light in Bella’s room flickered on.

I paused midstride, my foot suspended in air. The relief from knowing that each person went to bed alone was so palpable, I swear it pulled off of me. I let my foot hit the ground before I turned my body, taking larger strides back to my truck and jumping back into the driver’s seat. I should escape for a few days, try to get her out of my head, but I couldn’t. She was there. A permanent fixture already implanted, and her scent… Fates, her scent. I brought my finger up to my nose and inhaled, feeling nearly dizzy with the alluring smell of her want that was now imbedded into my skin.

If the fates really were playing tricks on us, really were taking the slight promise of a mate and dangling her in front of us just to rip her away, then why the hell did they have to make her so fucking perfect for us?

Chapter 23

BELLA

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