Page 61 of Owning Emma

Chapter 28

ROMAN

I watchedRoyal and his wife pull out of my driveway and drive down the dusty path to the exit. It had been nice seeing him again, I just wish it was under different circumstances. Circumstances that didn’t require me to worry about Emma or fear for Shaw. Circumstances that didn’t cloud and taint this happiness that I had felt for the first time in years.

I wish things were as simple as we made them seem over sandwiches. We wanted Emma so she would be ours. She never objected to it, only accepted it as a truth. But what about the obvious complications? Shaw and I.

Is there room in her life for both of us, let alone room in our lives for each other in that capacity? Relationships are between two people, not three. That’s society’s normal. But even if that wasn’t true, I hardly doubt he would accept me as such. Not with all the men around us looking on, casting their judgement and throwing in their comments.

We needed to talk. That was the one thing I knew for sure. I just didn’t know when or how on earth I would bring about the conversation, if I ever could. Was there an easy way to tell your best friend you’ve caught a case of the feelings? Or explain how you suddenly found your hand touching his cock and you would do it again if given the opportunity? How? How do you tell your best friend that his cum on your body was anything but repulsive, even if it should be?

My cock hardened at the memory, a shiver running through my body. Soon. I would have to speak to him soon. But for now, I made it a point to head straight for my office and avoid any contact with either Shaw or Emma. I needed time to think, a moment to clear my mind and figure my shit out. The fact that I was still putting plans in action, trying my hardest to protect the sexy, little brunette in my kitchen, was a good excuse, even though I was nearly positive that Shaw didn’t buy it. His eyes watched mine as I told the lie and rushed away, but he didn’t call me out on it. He let me go, and for that I was thankful.

I buried my mind in work, determined to protect Emma. Royal had ten of his men volunteer for the job, ten men who I planned to compensate handsomely for protecting the girl I hardly knew but wanted to. The girl who now fucking owned me without even trying.

They were arriving tonight, each one with their own set of special skills and preferred placement that would put them in various locations along our compound and into our businesses. Interns who would learn the ropes, keeping their ears open for shifty activity and unfavorable talk.

I knew his men were good and loyal to a fault. He treated them well, sort of like I treated my men, which is why the whole situation rubbed me the wrong way. Where had someone strayed? Where had someone decided that money and a soiled conscience was worth more than the friendship, family, and damn security that I offered all my men?

I lost track of time working through the details, trying to figure out who would be placed at which location and where we needed the extra eyes the most. Shaw had given me a list of names before, names of people we had reason to doubt, and even as I looked at the names . . . I had a hard time accepting it. Even as I assigned each one of the names a man from Royal’s team, I didn’t want to believe it.

These were my family.

I felt almost nauseous distrusting my family. It was unfair to look upon everyone suspiciously when it was only one or two who had broken their loyalty. One or two brothers, who had fallen to the temptation that the enemy offered. One or two betrayals.

My mind was locked into this thought when I heard a knock at the door. I debated if I should answer it. I wasn’t in the mood to socialize, and even though I’d already thought once or twice about my plans for Emma’s body tonight, I couldn’t think of anything but her naked body right now. I sighed then called for the knocker to come in.

Shaw peered inside. “I’ve been instructed to tell you it’s dinner time.”

I looked at my watch. “Time went quick.”

He came into my office and shut the door. “That tends to happen when you are buried in your own head.”

I stood and stretched, not missing the way his eyes followed my movements. “I needed to get the assignments organized so Royal’s men know where they were going when they arrive.”

I walked to the front of my desk to be closer to him, even when I knew I should stay further away. His crossed arms. “You could have asked for help.”

I could have, but I didn’t. I needed the time for myself, to reflect on what had happened over the last month, week, day. Not like it did a lot of good, I was still lost. I needed to talk with him, I did. But getting the words out seemed nearly impossible. I licked my lips, determined to try. “We need . . .”

I let the words hang in the air, hoping he would finish my sentence or get my train of thought, but he didn’t. Instead he tilted his head to the side and examined me. He blew out a breath and said, “Dinner’s in five. Pot roast, mixed veggies, and a salad. We’re eating whether you are there or not.”

He turned, heading to the door, but I couldn’t let him leave. I couldn’t let myself wimp out on a conversation that needed to be had and even more than that, I couldn’t let him give me the out to do so. He protected me in all things of life, he shouldn’t have to protect me from myself. His hands reached the door knob and the words finally spilled from my lips, “We need to talk.”

He turned, his fingers gripping the metal knob hard. “About?”

I knew he wouldn’t make it easy, if I ever did manage to bring it up. My throat burned and I suddenly wished I had water nearby. “Last night.”

His hand dropped from the doorknob and he stalked toward me again, stopping with only a few inches of space. “What about it?”

“Last night was . . .“ Different. Special. Life changing. “. . . it wasn’t something we have done before.”

His eyebrow raised. “Do you regret it?”

“God, no.” The words flew from my mouth before I could stop them, but I knew they were true.

His posture stiffened. “So . . .”

“I don’t know where we stand,” I admitted, suddenly feeling vulnerable.

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